IN THE MIRROR
By Susan Smallwood and Susan Griffith

Part 4

"Then you should have said so in your will." Lucy said.

"I didn't leave a will!" he snapped, angrily.

"Why not?" Lucy's voice was like ice.

"Because I didn't expect to kick the blasted gas on with me blasted foot!" The Captain roared, stamping his foot at the end for emphasis.

"I won't be shouted at!" Lucy said in a fury. "Everyone shouts at me and orders me about and I'm sick of it. Do you hear! Blast! Blast! Blast!"

The Captain chuckled. "And that Lucy is very much like you, my dear. You did the same thing. Such language for a woman!"

"Temper!" the Captain chuckled, amused by Lucy's reaction.

"THAT is all you say to reprimand her? 'Blast' is not a lady's word. It is most disconcerting to hear that word come out of your lips, Madam." the Captain looked over at Carolyn. She made a face at him, and turned back to the movie.

"Or laughed at either!" Lucy raged. "I won't leave this house. You can make me leave it! I won't!" And then, overwrought, confused and frightened, she began to cry.

"Women!" the Captain was disgusted.

Extremely agitated, Captain Gregg stepped up behind her. "Here! Belay that! Stop it now, d'ye hear me? If there's one thing I can't stand it's a woman crying. Stop it, blast it all, Madam!"

"He's sounding very much like you again, Captain," Carolyn said.

"I love this house." Lucy said between sobs. "I felt I must stay here as soon as I saw it. I - I can't explain it - it was as if the house was welcoming me and asking me to rescue it from being so empty."

"That is JUST how I felt!" Carolyn's voice was filled with awe.

The Captain had been listening to Lucy intently, and was not unmoved at her words. "Might be some truth in it at that." He said grudgingly. "Felt that way about a ship once. My first command. Found her rusting in the Mersey. Gear all foul and a pigsty below." A faraway look had come to his face, and his tone softened. "Always swore she sailed twice as sweetly for me as

she would for any other master. Out of gratitude."

"He is a true seaman." The Captain said. "But those TEARS!"

Lucy looked up at him silently, eyes filled with tears. Pacing away from her, he suddenly turned. "Very well. You love the house - that counts for you. And you've got spunk, you didn't frighten like the others. That counts for you, too. You may stay - on trial."

"Captain, are you certain you have never seen this movie? That is exactly what you said to me!" Carolyn said.

"Yes, I remember commenting on your spunk." his blue eyes bore into hers. Then both turned back to the television.

"And you'll go right away and leave us alone?" Lucy was saying.

"I will not go right away." the Captain said firmly, settling himself into a chair. "Why should I?"

"Because of Anna, my little girl. I don't want her frightened into fits."

The Captain looked up from filling his pipe. "I never frighten little girls into fits."

"But," Lucy protested, "think of the bad language she'd learn, and the morals."

"Confound it, Madam, my language is most controlled." Then he shot a mischievous look at her, "and as for me morals, I've lived a man's life, and I'm not ashamed of it, but I can assure you that no woman's ever been the worse for knowing me, and I'd like to know how many mealy-mouthed bluenoses can say the same."

"I'd say his language is very much like yours, and I agree with Lucy. But you never did scare Candy into fits, and Jonathan worships you." Carolyn said, softly.

"Very well" he relented. "Leave the best bedroom as it is, and I'll promise never to go into any other room."

As he walked past Lucy, she looked after him in horror. "But if you keep the best bedroom, where should I sleep?"

"In the best bedroom."

Her worse suspicions confirmed, she gulped loudly. "But...."

"In heaven's name, why not?" the Captain asked testily. "Why, bless my soul, Madam, I'm a spirit! I have no body, I haven't had one for four years, is that clear?"

Again the Captain chuckled. "Wait until you have not had a body for a hundred years..."

"But I can see you!"

"All you see is an illusion." Captain Gregg said impatiently. "Like a blasted lantern-slide."

Eyeing him, Lucy finally agreed. "It's not very convincing, but - I suppose it's all right."

"I confess I wasn't that convinced either, when you told me that. But I was just so exhausted I didn't care anymore. I dropped off to sleep very quickly." Carolyn admitted.

"Yes." the Captain seemed about to say more, then changed his mind.

"Then it's settled. I'm probably making a mistake, but I always was a fool for a helpless woman."

"I'm not helpless!" Lucy flared up."

"Well, if you're so confoundedly competent, you'll notice your kettle is about to boil over." He said imperturbably.

The Captain let out a shout of laughter. Carolyn smiled too.

"One thing more." the Captain said, watching as she tended her kettle. "I want me painting hung in the bedroom, the one that's in the living room."

"Must I?" Lucy asked, not looking up. "It's a very poor painting."

"It's my painting and I didn't invite your criticism. I make that part of the bargain. I want you to put it there now, tonight. Goodnight."

"Oh, thank goodness you didn't make me put your portrait in the bedroom!" Carolyn said impulsively, looking up at the painting over the fireplace. "But then, yours isn't a poor one."

The Captain tipped his head in acknowledgment of the compliment, then agreed smugly, "In fact, you called it magnificent."

"Not the painting, but you ..." Carolyn's voice trailed off and she cleared her throat. She hadn't meant to say quite so much!

The storm still raged outside as Lucy struggled into her room, the enormous painting clutched in her arms. Looking about, she decided on the little bench, where she would be able to lean it against the wall. Having put it there, she stepped back and looked at it with distaste before going to her vanity table. As she unbuttoned her dress, she suddenly caught the portrait's reflection in the mirror. Going to it, she resolutely draped a blanket over the grinning visage of Captain Gregg.

Carolyn chuckled. "I must say, I would do the same. I know Martha was always sure your, or rather, the painting's eyes were following her whenever she cleaned in here. I couldn't imagine

it in my bedroom! I'd never get any writing done!"

The Captain merely looked at her with raised eyebrows, then turned his attention back to the movie.

Now in a long, old fashioned nightdress, her hair hanging down her back in a braid, Lucy tucked her hot water bottle under the covers, and blew out her bedside candle. Exhausted to the point of dropping, she crawled into bed herself, and closed her eyes.

"M'dear" the disembodied voice of the Captain floated to her ears "never let anyone tell you to be ashamed of your figger!"

Mortified, Lucy sat upright, and pulled the bedclothes to her chin.

Carolyn felt a blush rise to her cheeks, as she realized how much she envied Lucy. She longed to hear those words from HER Captain's lips, as naughty as they may have been. Scolding herself for such silliness, she finished off the popcorn, carefully keeping her eyes averted from the Captain at her side. The eagle-eyed Captain, of course, noticed Carolyn's red cheeks, and his rich chuckle filled the room.

Carolyn ignored that, saying, "I think the Captain is very dashing. He reminds me a bit of you ..."

"That Captain Gregg is nothing at all like me! He is a cad! Imagine watching her undress and THEN making that comment! Of course, he IS right. She need never be ashamed of that

figure." The Captain's eyes slid over Carolyn quickly, then he looked away.

Again Carolyn grew hot, then she concentrated on what Lucy must have been feeling when the Captain spoke to her just after she had retired. "I seem to remember you doing a similar thing to me, once." Carolyn reminded him. "I didn't sleep all night!"

"Hmm, and all I said was 'good night and sleep well.' We shall see if you sleep should I say what he said. Which, of course, I could, my dear." he looked at her fully.

Now Carolyn's face felt as if it were on fire. She took a final gulp of her wine, and said hastily, "Would you like a refill, Captain? We may as well finish it off."

"Very well."

Carolyn disappeared quickly into the kitchen with the two glasses. She rested her hot cheeks against the door of the fridge, trying to cool them down. What would SHE have done had "her" Captain said to her what the movie Captain did to Lucy? Lucy had been horrified, but Carolyn wondered if she herself would be gratified to hear just what the Captain thought of HER. He rarely gave her direct compliments. She treasured each one. Still, she didn't know if she would have been so pleased the first night. Thank goodness he had never said anything to her that night after she had gone to bed! He had known enough, obviously, to stay on watch "above" as he had said he would!

As she came back into the living room with the wine glasses, the movie was just about to start again. She handed the Captain his glass and sat down beside him.

Lucy and Martha were busy at work once again, this time putting away Lucy's black mourning dresses, and replacing them with her regular clothes. Lucy was bright and cheerful as she walked around with a pile of black draped over her arm. "There! That's the last of them." she announced with satisfaction, handing the dresses over to Martha. "Never 'eld with mourning meself.." Martha started for the door. "I always say life's black enough without dressing in it."

"You obviously feel the same ... I notice you never wore all black, either." the Captain looked over at Carolyn. "In my day, mourning was worn for at least a year, if not more."

Carolyn shrugged, not willing to answer.

Martha went out with the dresses, leaving Lucy to finish putting her clothes in the wardrobe. Turning from the door, Lucy abruptly stopped short, the smile fading from her face. Captain Gregg stood in the bow window, one hand on his hip, the other on the telescope, and fury written on his face. "Oh. Good afternoon." Lucy said, uncertainly. "What have you done with me monkey puzzle tree?" the Captain's voice shook with compressed rage.

"I expect it's chopped for firewood by now."

"Frankly, I am amazed he stayed to confront her ... you left with no warning!" Carolyn commented.

"She cut his monkey-puzzle tree down, too?" the Captain was incredulous.

"Hang it all, Madam, I planted that tree with me own two hands!" "Why did you?"

"Because I wanted a monkey puzzle tree in me garden!" He shouted. Hoping to console him, Lucy said soothingly, "Think how much prettier a bed of roses will look there."

"I hate roses!" the Captain growled. "I hope the whole blasted bed dies of blight!"

"That is the way to talk, man! Imagine wanting roses instead of a monkey puzzle tree!" the Captain cheered him on.

Carolyn rolled her eyes, and silently agreed with Lucy as she reprimanded the Captain for swearing.

"If you think that's ugly, it's a good thing ye can't read me thoughts." Captain Gregg said stubbornly, in a tone of voice that indicated it was most likely so.

"You seem to be very - earthly for a spirit." Lucy said slowly, watching him pace across the room.

The Captain gave her a long glare. "You, Madam," he began coldly, "are enough to make a saint take to blasphemy." He went to his armchair and rested a hand along the back. "Blasted women!" he muttered. "Always make trouble when you allow one aboard."

"He IS quite right, is he not, Madam?" the Captain almost beamed at Carolyn, who frowned slightly at him.

With angry steps, Lucy approached the Captain, her own temper aroused. "Captain Gregg, if you insist on haunting me, you might at least be more agreeable about it."

Looking down at her, he frowned, "why should I be agreeable?"

"Well, as long as we're living -" Lucy realized what she had said, and paused, embarrassed. "I mean if we're going to be thrown together so much, life's too short to be forever barking at each other."

"YOUR life may be short, Madam. I have an unlimited time at my disposal."

"HA! Quite right! Quite right!" the Captain grinned widely.

"Lucy or Captain Gregg?" Carolyn murmured. "I think life IS too short for petty bickering."

"There you go, arguing again." Lucy's voice was weary. "Try to say something pleasant for a change."

"Hm" the Captain snorted, coming very close and looking her over. "That's a, that's a pretty rig you have on." he gruffly admitted. Carolyn smiled. "That's more like it."

"Hmmph," was all the Captain said in reply.

"Much better than smothering yourself in all that ugly black crepe," he continued.

"I happen to be wearing mourning for my husband."

"Whom you didn't love." Captain Gregg said, going to his telescope and looking out to sea.

Gasping, Lucy marched to the end of the telescope. "How dare you say that!"

"Good for her!" Carolyn said triumphantly. The Captain looked at her briefly, then turned back to the television.

Not bothering to look away from the telescope, the Captain said calmly, "Because it's true. You were fond of him, perhaps, but you didn't love him."

"I wonder why it is men think they know how a woman thinks?" Carolyn said.

The Captain looked sideways at her. "I would not presume to think that. Notice I have never said a word to you about your late husband, though many times I COULD have, given half the opportunity."

"Shh! Watch the movie!" Carolyn spoke quickly. The Captain scowled, then complied.

Ducking under the telescope, Lucy stood next to the Captain, glaring up at him, "I suppose you're jealous because no one put on morning for you?"

"That shows how little you know about it."

"Some poor misguided female, no doubt." She said severely.

Looking towards her with a grin, the Captain said complacently, "THREE poor misguided females, to be exact."

Lucy was shocked, almost beyond words. "I should - I should think you'd be ashamed of it, instead of boasting about it."

"Why? They misguided themselves. I never raised a finger to help them."

"Typical females. They DO misguide themselves continually!" agreed the Captain. Carolyn had a long-suffering look on her face. Inwardly she was vowing never to watch another movie with the Captain as long as she lived. WHY did the first one they watched have to be one which mirrored their existence so closely?

"That's not what I've heard about sailors." Lucy moved to the window and looked out, her back to the Captain.

"Seamen, confound it! Sailor is a landlubber's word." he followed her, and stood close behind her.

"Rex-whoever-he-is does know SOMETHING, after all." commented the Captain. "I've said the very same thing."

"Many times." Carolyn said, dryly. She smiled faintly at the Captain, and his eyes twinkled back at her. Neither had to say any more. They had had THIS conversation before!

In a softer tone, the Captain asked Lucy, "Why did you marry him?" "Ah, now we will get the story. This Lucy is not as reticent as some women I know." The Captain leaned forward, carefully not looking at Carolyn. She bit her lip, but said nothing, instead focusing on the television screen before her.

A small smile appeared on Lucy's face, and she seemed to gaze into her past, "I was only seventeen - I remember I'd just finished a novel in which the heroine was kissed in the rose garden and lived happily ever after. So when Edwin kissed me in the orchard ...." she smiled up at the Captain.

"But it was different after you left the orchard."

She nodded sadly. He had expected that response, and asked grimly, "He didn't beat you, did he?"

A single tear trickled down Carolyn's cheek, one which confirmed the Captain's suspicions that HER marriage had not been a happy one. Carolyn brushed it away angrily, then suddenly noticed that the Captain was eyeing her closely. "No, of course he didn't!" she exclaimed at last. "And yes, I will tell you the story sometime!"

"I never asked." the Captain said.

"No. You just looked the question." Carolyn sighed.

"Well, it would be nice to have been granted the privilege to know your history, when I gave you mine." the Captain said. "After all, I did not badger you for it the way this ... this ... so-called Gregg did to that lovely yet fragile Lucy. What if the poor thing HAD been beaten? Would she have confessed to HIM? Would YOU ...?" he broke off abruptly, then said, "Forgive me, Madam. I was crossing the barrier of privacy I know you hold dear."

"I just feel sorry for any woman trapped in a loveless marriage." Carolyn admitted softly. "For whatever reason." Then, wishing to escape the intense situation they had gotten themselves into, Carolyn said softly, "that Captain Gregg designed and built his Gull Cottage, too. It is a beautiful house."

"It reminds of something," Lucy said. "An old song, or a poem..." "Magic casements opening on the foam

Of perilous seas in faerie lands forlorn." he quoted.

"That's Keats, isn't it?"

"The Nightingale."

Puzzled, Lucy looked up at him, "Strange to find a sea captain quoting Keats."

"Not so strange. Life's slow at sea and there's time to read." the Captain announced.

"Oh, life's slow at sea." He settled himself down in the wooden chair that stood in the bow window. "Plenty of time for reading in the off watches."

Carolyn grinned. "My, this Captain Gregg is so very much like you." "He's a scoundrel!" growled the Captain instantly. Carolyn shushed him yet again.

Resting her small hands on the tall telescope, Lucy looked at him dreamily. "How romantic! Reading lyric poetry up in the crow's nest, the sheet's bellying in the wind...."

"Sails, blast it all, Madam!" The Captain shouted in irritation. "A sheet's a line, a rope! Ropes can't belly!"

"Scoundrel or not, he does know his sea terminology." The Captain muttered.