Madeira Valentine
By Judy Moore
February 14, 2001
Suffering from a miserable February cold, Mrs. Muir awoke to the relentless
pounding of rain hitting the roof gutters. Ping! Ping, ping! To drown out the
appalling noise, she covered her head with her pillow and made a mental note to
check the attic for rowing oars, for she was sure Gull Cottage would float out
to sea any time now.
Day after day, the onslaught of rain continued, drenching the Maine
coastline and dampening the spirit of its inhabitants including the Muirs.
Enough was enough, Carolyn sighed, turning on her bedside lamp and sitting up.
Despite a fitful night, her congestion over the last few days seemed to have
improved, and her urge to cough had lessened. So, with one confidently swift
move of her hand, she swooped all of her used tissues from her bedside table
into her small trash can willing the remnants of her cold to go away. She then
stood, swung her robe around her and scuffed over to the dresser mirror to
inspect her features. Most of the puffiness under her eyes was gone, so perhaps
she was now at the tail end of the nasty bug, having no remorse at all at seeing
it go.
As she stretched, an envelope on the wall sconce to her left, caught her
attention. Carolyn smiled to herself as recently, Captain Gregg, her resident
live-in ghost, had taken up the habit of using her wall lamp as a sort of mail
box. In fact, she did too when necessary and supposed the idea made perfect
sense.
Instinctively knowing women liked to look at themselves, the Captain took
advantage of her female vanity by displaying the note next to her mirror,
confident she’d receive his correspondence promptly. If the Captain left the
note any other place, she might not see the blasted thing for days and then he
would be angry and she didn’t want that. Hoping the note to be a surprise,
Carolyn unsealed it carefully and read its elegantly written message.
To Mrs. Carolyn Muir,
The honorable Captain Daniel Gregg requests the pleasure of
your company in the wheelhouse, on February the 14th, at ten
o’clock in the evening, for a leisurely glass of Madeira.
Yours very truly,
Captain Daniel Gregg
RSVP requested
February 14th! Valentine’s Day! How sweet! This was just the sort of
boost Carolyn needed for her flagging spirits. Then again, how did the Captain
know she was free that evening? She tapped the note on her chin. And how did
he know she didn’t have a smashing date lined up with some handsome man from
town? Again she laughed to herself. Who was she trying to kid? The last three
men who even glanced at Gull Cottage were throttled by the Captain’s temper and
unceremoniously sent packing. She smirked and set the note down against a
perfume bottle. She would respond to the invitation later, in her own time and
her own way.
As she was getting dressed, she realized that most of the incidents
concerning her intended suitors, were amusing, and although she would never
admit it, especially to the Captain, the idea of being fought over and protected
by an inherently handsome man such as he, and in such a gallant fashion as he
was wont to display, always sent her goose bumps over the top. Yes. Carolyn was
looking forward to her and the Captain’s date on Valentine’s Day, for a romantic
evening with her favorite ghost was just what the doctor would have ordered.
On Valentine’s Day, the children came home from school, as usual, with arms
full of cards and candy. The Valentines to their mother were as sweet as any
child could make and the paper and paste sentiments found a home quickly,
proudly being displayed on her desk upstairs. That same evening, for dessert,
Martha baked a heart-shaped cake. The housekeeper half-heartedly saved a piece
for Mr. Peevey, her sometimes boyfriend, who on this night, didn’t want to
venture out in the rain. Martha sighed heavily as over the phone, he consoled
the disappointed woman with the promise of a ‘rain-check’ soon.
By nine o’clock then, the children were in bed and Martha, now resigned to
the fact that a good romance read was better than nothing, settled down
comfortably in her room for the evening. In the meantime, Carolyn went about
changing her clothes, slipping into a fashionable contemporary gown for her
tete-a-tete with a certain ghost. She pampered herself, allowing herself the
minor luxury of doing so, for she wanted to look perfectly pleasing to the
Captain. Just now, more than anything else, she needed to look beautiful for
someone.
At five minutes to the intended hour of ten, Carolyn knocked on the
wheelhouse door. Captain Gregg, in his most chivalrous manner, swung the door
open, and upon greeting her, stopped at the sight before him. He could not help
but stare with a silly, mildly stunned expression.
“What’s the matter, Captain, do I have a third-eye or something?” The
Captain said nothing, so she spoke again.
“May I come in?”
By then, her specter friend shifted back to the plane of reality, and untied his
tongue at last.
“Of course, how rude of me to leave you standing there in the cold. Come in
where it’s warm. It is warm, isn’t it?” He put a finger in his collar as if he
was hot.
“I’ll know better when I get inside.”
“Blasted drafty hallways,” he remarked to her as she passed him, “never
conducive to good health, especially after you’ve just shaken a nasty cold.”
Carolyn stepped further into the wheelhouse which was indeed warm and glowed
with candlelight. On a trunk in the middle of the room, lay the familiar Chinese
tray with a red rose in a vase and wine enough for two. Carolyn wondered where
he’d found the fresh flower at this time of year. Any blooms she might have had
in the garden would have been pounded down by the rain weeks ago.
“You must pardon my impudence, Mrs. Muir. Whenever I think you couldn’t be
more beautiful, you surprise me again. You’ve grown even more lovely since the
last time I saw you. Honestly,” he folded his hands, “I didn’t mean to stare.”
“I’m glad you did,” Carolyn said rather boldly, with a twinkle in her eye.
“I did this for you, Captain...” she pirouetted so he could take in the full
effect of her lavender gown and golden upswept hair, “…and, I have to confess, I
did it a little bit for me. These days, there aren’t many occasions for me to
play dress up, what with work and the children. Thank you for inviting me.”
“Oh, you’re most welcome, and I quite understand about responsibility. But
know this, Madam, with a loveliness such as yours, there is never any need to
embellish…”
Carolyn cast her eyes down at the compliment as he continued.
“…but, I’m glad you did,” the Captain admitted with a smile that matched the
twinkle in her eyes when she glanced up. Even in the subdued light, he thought
he caught the slightest blush on her ivory skin.
Instinctively, Carolyn found she could no longer look at him directly, thinking
shamelessly that the Captain could somehow read her thoughts. She still had
thoughts. They’d not gone away because she was now a widow. But what thoughts
she was having! Goodness, it was best to look away before she gave herself
away. And the Captain, noting the subtle difference in her bearing, discreetly
moved to the tray to serve the wine and relieve her awkwardness, which, he
thought was simply enchanting.
“Shall I pour?”
“Yes, please.” She waved a testing hand about to feel the air. “It is warm
in here, but very comfortable. No one would guess it pouring outside.” Best to
talk about the weather, she surmised.
The seaman expertly uncorked the ancient bottle of Madeira and poured. “I
have a gift for you as well,” he said handing her a filled glass
“A gift? For me?” Carolyn grinned with the delight of a young girl.
“Yes, a small token. Nothing remarkably tangible, but rather as I thought,
since this is Saint Valentine’s Day, I might recite a short poem for you.”
“Oh, please do! Is it a piece you’ve written?”
He shook his head ‘no’, “But…it’s lovely and indeed appropriate, for its
nature reminds me of you.” He clinked his glass with hers and they both sipped,
drawing in the delicious moment with their eyes. Their glances were low and
sultry, yet the warmth they shared was a warmth tinged with a hollow poignancy
of what would never be, yet could never be forgotten. They sipped again, and
once more, Carolyn had to look away at something, anything to help diffuse her
thoughts. She focused on a particular candle near the window, its flame
wavering wildly like the beating of her heart.
Not wanting to, but knowing he must, the Captain broke the passionate spell they
seemed to be under, by again mentioning his gift of poetry.
“Now,” he looked expressly at her while thinking a second, “I’ve always
prided myself on my excellent memory, of which you know I have, but I must
confess, I’ve had a devil of time trying to memorize the blasted piece of
poetry! Mmm,” he moaned at her rather seductively, “Just now, I seem to have
forgotten it. I’m sure I’ve you to blame for that.” He chuckled at his
forgetfulness. She always made him forget when he let himself sink deep and
wholly into her emerald eyes. “Ah, yes…” he recalled, as Carolyn leaned back
against the trunk to get more comfortable. He began the recitation as she took
another sip of Madeira, the idea of being serenaded by the Captain’s dulcet
tones entrancing her.
Toward beauty I shall guide my ship of dreams
Toward kindness I shall steer her true
Toward happiness I shall sail the boundless main
Toward the love I have found in you
Upon landing, I shall anchor my soul in great haste
Lauding the winds who carried me o’er the sea
And in this harbor of love, there I shall live, most content
My heart entwined forever with thee
When the Captain finished, he raised his glass to her, not knowing what else
to do.
“Why, that was charming and lovely, Captain, thank you.” Carolyn whispered
rather unsteadily, still mesmerized by the sincerity of his words. She was
desperately trying to digest what he’d said. Didn’t he just recite a love poem
to her? An honest to goodness poem about love? About him, loving her? Was he
saying he loved her? No, he couldn’t have, she tried to shake the thought. She
was just imagining things, of course, hearing words she wanted to hear. But,
how did the verse go again? Blast! She thought, quite frustrated that she
couldn’t remember all the lines and knowing she couldn’t possibly ask him to
repeat them.
“It’s all true, you know,” he added.
“True?”
“I meant every word of it.”
By now, Carolyn found herself trembling a bit, having hopelessly
relinquished herself to the sentimentality of the moment. Her eyes began to
mist when she dared let herself accept the seaman’s poetic admission of love for
her. If that’s what it was. Was it? Could it be? She couldn’t look at him as
the first tear fell.
“Here, Madam, y-you’re not crying. Please, don’t cry. Oh, blast.” The
Captain hadn’t expected this result and let out a deep sigh, moving closer to
her, wishing he could somehow touch her. All that he could do was take her
Madeira and set it down before she spilled it.
Carolyn sniffed and turned away, wiping her face with the back of her hand.
“I know you hate it when women cry, but don’t worry, Captain, I’m not really
crying. See?” She turned to face him with all her courage. “I’m just…uh,
leaking.”
“Leaking!?”
“Uh huh.”
She tried smiling through the tears, “Isn’t that what happens when someone
or some thing is about to burst wide open?”
“Burst!?” He looked quizzically at her.
“Yes,” she laid a hand on her chest, “my heart. Right here.” He was struck
by her frankness and Carolyn recognized momentary anguish behind his eyes.
Damn! If he could only kiss her! Right then, Captain Gregg thought that hell
could be no worse. Not being able to kiss the woman he loved was surely the
highest form of cruelty he could imagine. But reassuringly, Carolyn’s lips
curved up in her familiar, delicious smile letting him know that she and
everything else between them would be all right. He straightened his stance
keeping his longings at bay.
“Well, then,” he harrumphed, “that’s better. Perhaps you’d like to sit
down?”
“M-m h-m-m.” He gestured her to the window seat.
The Captain was duly pleased his choice of poetry had touched Carolyn’s
emotions. Sometimes, verse was a wonderful and powerful substitute for what one
could not say one’s self, or if one could, had not the definitive courage to do
so.
The Captain then picked up the Madeira glasses again, but instead of moving
forward with them to the bench beneath the window where they would sit, he
turned around quickly, accidentally finding himself face to face with Carolyn.
Her lips were just a mere breath apart from his, closer than ever before, and
neither could move as long seconds passed like an eternity between them.
Carolyn and the Captain each took advantage of the moment, looking at, studying
and memorizing each other as they sent secret messages of which only their eyes
could decipher.
Then, quite unexpectedly, and most probably due to the tailings of her cold,
Carolyn’s face crinkled up in the precursor to an oncoming sneeze. Just as the
Captain was about to step back, she sneezed with such force, that she plunged
herself forward, smack dab into the middle of the Captain’s ethereal form! For
some inexplicable reason, though, she did not come out the other side of him as
one would think would happen!
“Excuse me!” She finally cried out, shaking her head from a sudden bout of
dizziness. She did not realize it, but in an instant, she and the Captain had
become symbiotically locked together, body and soul, heart to heart! As the
seconds passed, the couple moved about in a disoriented state of confusion and
shadowy after-images.
The seaman’s image wavered in and around Carolyn’s until his hands were her
hands and her movements became his movements. Which was it? Was Carolyn in him?
He in her? Or both? Finally, the Captain’s form dissolved into invisibility.
“Captain? What’s happening!” Carolyn asked with trepidation because she
couldn’t see him. “I’m tingling all over!”
Even the Captain was having trouble controlling his dexterity. He attempted to
set their Madeira glasses down, but they slipped from his fingers, or, was it
her fingers, and crashed noisily to the floor.
“Blast!”
“Oooh, Captain, don’t shout!”
Carolyn could hear the Captain in her head, and realized quite surprisingly,
that the control of her movements were not entirely all her own.
“Madam, are you all right?” He asked, a bit worried and not knowing why she
hadn’t popped out the other side of him. As far as he knew, she should have
gone straight through.
“Yes, I think so, Captain, but I’m tingling with goose bumps and feel sort
of nauseous,” she said out loud with a slight panic in her voice. “What’s
happening?”
“How in blue-blazes should I know, Madam?” She heard him say in her head
again.
Carolyn put her hands on her hips and lowered her brows, the nausea finally
subsiding. “Captain, exactly where are you now?” She wasn’t sure she wanted
to hear the answer.
“I suppose I’m in here, with you. You seem to be in me, er…, around me, through
me! Blast,” the Captain growled.
“This is no time to joke, you know. Is this more of your surprise? If it is,
it’s not funny.”
“Bloody hell, no. This is serious, Madam, I can assure you. Spending the
remainder of my afterlife entombed in woman’s body is not my idea of a joke. I
don’t believe this. I shall be a laughing stock.” Carolyn was a little
surprised and hurt by the seaman’s sudden harshness, not five minutes ago he’d
been reading her love poetry. But, she’d heard worse from him before.
“It’s not my fault, you know. No need to get testy.” She said smugly.
“It was you who sneezed, not I.”
“But I wouldn’t have sneezed if you hadn’t made me cry…”
“Ah, but you ‘leaked’.” He corrected her and her finger suddenly came up to
point out that fact. She pushed her hand down.
“And I wouldn’t have leaked,” she emphasized the word, “if you hadn’t read
that silly poem to me. So this mess is your fault. Happy Valentine’s Day,
Captain.” She crossed her arms in a huff, then immediately lost control over
her actions as the Captain began pacing the floor.
“Silly!? My poem silly!?” His echoing voice shot out, “That was a love
poem!” Her hands were flying wildly now with the Captain’s exuberant gestures.
“Women! That’s the last time I shall ever read poetry to a woman. I knew it
was a crazy idea. What could I have been thinking?”
“Yes, what were you thinking, and please, stop pacing!”
“I think better when I pace.”
“For heaven’s sake, stand still or I’ll throw up!”
“Oh, very well.” The Captain halted them, and he stood squarely anchoring her
hands behind her back in his typical commanding stance. But, Carolyn wanted to
sit down and so forced herself to walk to the window seat. Both of them grew
quiet not knowing how to correct the situation of which they knew nothing
about. After a few moments of pensive thought, Carolyn finally spoke.
“Why did you choose that poem?”
“Oh, never mind that. It seems our little tryst has turned into a stifling
nightmare. Blast,” he said aloud again.
“Don’t you know any other word besides ‘blast’?” she asked heatedly.
“No! Blast it all!”
“Alright,” she conceded, “so I sneezed. It wasn’t on purpose.”
“Agreed, so long as you know this was not my doing. Oh, I can’t stand it. I’m
a sea captain in a dress, confound it! If my spectral fraternity got wind of
this, I’d be stripped of all my…well, never mind, “ he said again. The Captain
wanted to be sure he would not be held to blame in this matter.
On similar occasions in the past, he had spiritually invaded his nephew,
Claymore Gregg’s body, only because he had no other choice, though he fondly
remembered one occasion, which was pure fancy on his part, when he was able to
dance with his beloved mistress, Carolyn.
For a long while, he had prided himself on getting away with that trick, though
it occurred to him he might be being humored by the powers presiding above. But
those instances were different. He had no emotional ties to Claymore, and could
therefore separate from him easily. With Carolyn, this was disastrous!
Ludicrous even! At the moment, he did not feel separation was possible. They
were part of each other now, and the matter was very serious, more serious than
she knew.
And as if the matter could not be more worse, though he feigned displeasure at
the very idea of an eternity spent under her feet, the feelings he was
experiencing now were driving him to the brink! Oh, Lord, they were most
enjoyable and scathing! In fact, they teetered on the edge of wickedness!
Being released from her too soon, wouldn’t be soon enough. At least for the
moment, he thanked God, he knew they could not read each other’s thoughts, for
if they could, what was pleasure palace now would soon turn into the darkest
prison.
The Captain realized Carolyn had been quiet through his thought patterns. She
seemed relaxed and was smiling in a day-dreamy way. Perhaps the Madeira was
taking affect, but he couldn’t see how, as she only had a few sips.
“Captain, I’m still tingling. Do you feel it? In fact, I feel wonderful. I
was nauseous at first, but that’s gone now. How ‘bout you?” She felt silly
talking to herself out loud.
“Yes, I feel somewhat …giddy, I think is the word I prefer,” he admitted in
surprise, knowing he was succumbing to the emotions of their union. “I was just
thinking, this arrangement is certainly beginning to have its merits. But, of
course, we can’t stay like this, Madam. We must find a way to divide, and
soon.” He cautioned her, feeling himself becoming more dangerously overwhelmed
with his own passionate inclinations.
“Now, wait a minute.” Carolyn shot back, not wanting to give up the delectable
cocoon they found themselves wrapped in. “I don’t know how it’s possible, but
all of the sudden, I feel so…, so alive and deliriously happy. I know it’s a
little unusual, but…” The seaman cut her off.
“It’s the Madeira, my dear.”
“No, no it isn’t,” she countered him, “I haven’t had that much. Besides,” she
said with a bit too much wryness, “I’m having a ball in here, and by the feel of
things, you’re having a good time too.”
“Really, Madam, mind yourself!”
“But really, Captain, I feel wonderful! In a way, I feel you…, I think.”
“And I, you.” Oh, this was too much, the seaman cringed inwardly. He couldn’t
allow himself to continue sharing her otherwise there would be irreversible and
irreparable complications. He became insistent.
“Please, for me, for us, concentrate Madam. Try pulling yourself away from
me. Try now. Try jumping out, my dear.”
“No, not yet. Please, a little longer?”
The Captain cleared his throat, “No, Madam. This is a mistake. I insist
you try to propel yourself out now. There you go…”
“Why?” She kept resisting, “Captain, isn’t this what we’ve always wanted?
What we’ve waited for? We’re together.”
“It’s certainly not a very lady-like or gentlemanly state of affairs. Not
what I imagined for us at all. No decent chap would take advantage of a woman
this way.”
“But you’re a ghost, this is different and I honestly don’t see the harm.
Really, Captain, this is the sixties, you need to ‘get with it’.” The Captain’s
eyes widened at her saucy response.
“Really, Madam, please. This new attitude of yours strikes me as most
disturbing.” The Captain felt a curious ‘zing’ course through his ectoplasm.
“Mind yourself there.”
“I’m not doing anything,” she retorted.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“Positive.” Carolyn sighed defensively. “This dilemma is certainly going
to take some getting used to.”
“I don’t intend to get used to anything.” The Captain insisted and offered
an idea. “Come, step over here.” He walked them both over to the big trunk and
put Carolyn’s hands around the wooden post on which hung the keys to the sea
chest and a rather busty figurehead of a woman.
Carolyn stuck her tongue out at her as if to say ‘so there, he’s mine’, then
asked the Captain, “What are you doing?” Her hands were completely stuck to the
post.
“Since you’re being so stubborn, Mrs. Muir, I see that I shall have to be
the one to pull us apart. You hold on there, as tight as you can, and I will
pull myself out of you.”
“But…”
“No ‘buts’. Hold on now. Chin up. Steady as she goes and….” The
frustrated seaman pulled as hard as he could but was unsuccessful in his
attempt. The suction between them was too great. He decided there must be an
obstacle holding them together, and forlornly addressed Mrs. Muir.
“Madam, you must want this too, or it won’t work. Resisting will do us both
no good.”
“I was trying. Honestly. You saw me.”
“Let’s try again, and this time, concentrate, please.” With the second
effort, Carolyn did indeed hold on with all her strength as the Captain squirmed
and twisted to break free, but to no avail.
“It’s no use.” He gave up defeated. “We must think of another method of
extraction.” His eyes lit up with another idea. “By the powers, Madam, it was
a sneeze that got us into this mess and it shall be a sneeze that will get us
out! Am I right?”
“Sounds plausible.” Carolyn agreed. She hadn’t completely realized the
consequences of their predicament, but now she was thinking about problems which
could occur and thought maybe separating soon would be a good idea. A growing
urge to go to the bathroom was an appropriate incentive now, for two in the
bathroom was two too many.
“Then, you must sneeze.” He demanded.
“That should be easy. I’m sure I have one or two left in me from my cold. I
just might sneeze any time now,” she offered.
“We can’t wait for you to sneeze, we must make it happen.” Instantly,
Carolyn found herself opening the big trunk and throwing handfuls of old
clothing every which way.
“Ah hah!” Her hand produced a large faded ostrich feather, “Just the thing
for tickling the nose,” the Captain said.
“You’re not serious, Captain.”
“I am. We’ve no time to be choosy. Tickle away.”
“I can’t tickle myself.”
“Very well, then I’ll do it.” Up came her hand and he swayed the feather
back and forth making the plume wiggle and bounce under her nose. The dust
alone should have made her sneeze, but it didn't.
“Why, in heaven’s name, aren’t you sneezing?” The Captain complained
incredulously, “All week long, you sneezed, night and day. Now you don’t
sneeze.”
Carolyn shrugged.
“You’re resisting again. I know it. I can feel it.”
“No, I’m not. I want out of this crazy connection as much as you do.”
Desperate now, she announced, “How about dust? It always makes me sneeze.”
“Ah! Dust by heavens! Good thinking, Madam.” The Captain made Carolyn pick up
a cushion and had her pound it until a decent sized dust cloud billowed around
them. With her head in the middle of the dust, the Captain urged her to breathe
it in, “Deeper, deeper, my dear, all that you can. That’s it, more…more…”
Her reaction was not a sneeze, but a hacking cough, and the dust in her eyes was
unbearable, “Oooh, yuck! Hundred year old dust. That’s enough! I can’t take
anymore,” she coughed again. Quite unexpectedly then, Carolyn’s nose wrinkled
up a little, and they held their communal breath in the great hope that a sneeze
might be forthcoming. But it subsided.
“Blast! A bloody false alarm.”
“I’m sorry, Captain.”
“What else have we to try? Are you allergic to anything? Lamb's wool? Cat
fur?”
“We don’t have a cat.”
“Perfume?”
“Perfume? No. Pepper! I’m allergic to pepper!”
“Bingo!” The Captain clapped their hands together. “We must go down to the
kitchen. Blow out the candles and meet me there.” He started off as if he were
independent of her.
“Ahem, Captain, you’re forgetting.” She nearly fell over trying to stop him,
“We’ll both go, remember?”
“Oh, quite.”
In the dimness, Carolyn crept softly into the kitchen. The Captain overtook her
once again, switching on the lights, ignoring any attempt of stealth.
Haphazardly, he scouted through the cupboards looking for the spices.
“I was trying to be quiet, Captain, we don’t want to wake anybody,” she remarked
perturbed.
“Wake who? Where the devil are your spices?”
“In the spice rack near the stove.” He guided her over quickly.
“Why didn’t you say so?”
“You didn’t ask.”
“Ah! Here we are.” The Captain rummaged through the tiny bottles and tins,
“Basil, Cinnamon, Cloves, at least they’re in alphabetical order,” he continued
searching.
“Yes, Martha runs a tight ship. But if you’re looking for the black pepper,
it’s on the table.”
“Why didn’t you say so!” He knew that was a redundant response the moment he
said it, “I know…”
“You didn’t ask,” they chimed together and moved to the table. Carolyn
unscrewed and overturned the pepper-shaker only to find it empty.
“Whoops.”
“Mrs. Muir,” the Captain started to say as he held his temper in check, “I’ll
wager that if you glanced at your housekeeper’s grocery list just now, you’d see
‘pepper’ written down very nicely.”
“I suppose you would.”
“Tight ship, indeed! What sort of galley does that overstuffed broom pusher run
without pepper aboard!”
“A galley less hot than your temper! You’re not blaming Martha now?”
“I give up,” the Captain sighed heavily. “Ooohh, Madam, please, can you think
of anything else that might make you sneeze? Think, Madam, think hard, please,”
he begged.
“Well, I always sneeze when I get a chill.”
“A chill! Fabulous! Marvelous! But how are you going to catch a chill? The
house is warm. Ah! I have it! A cold shower should set things right.”
“Captain!”
“Splendid idea. I don’t know why we didn’t think of this before.” He put his
hand up to scratch his beard, but there was no beard to scratch. Instead, he
found smooth, soft skin beneath his fingers. It was her skin. Oh, dear God, he
prayed, asking for a boatload of all the self control he could muster.
“Oh, dear, don’t worry, Madam, I shan't look whilst you’re in the shower. I do
have some scruples, you know. Believe me, at this moment, the desire to
separate from you far outweighs the desire of seeing you in all your glory.
Hmmm, I don’t believe I said that. But take heart, you could wear your gown as
it is, or shimmy in your skivvies.”
“What??? And ruin this dress? No thank you!”
“Do you have a better idea?”
“I was thinking more in the line of stepping outside, either on the porch or the
balcony.”
“Are you balmy? It’s raining, you’ll catch your death of cold. But as it is
raining, balcony or shower, you’ll get drenched either way. Which is it to be?
We must hurry.”
Honestly, for the life of her, she didn’t know why the Captain was in such a
rush. Aside from the small discomfort of not yet being able to use the toilet,
she found their togetherness very pleasant and did not want to be single so
soon. Yet, she knew they must break apart. How would she explain the Captain’s
disappearance to the children, or Martha?
“The balcony,” she decided, “I want to be in my room when…when it happens.”
“Very well then, shall we?” They trotted upstairs and slipped quietly into her
room. Just past the telescope, the Captain helped her reach for and open the
French doors. A gust of freezing wind furled the curtains and ruffled through
Carolyn’s hair as rain drops splattered on her wooden floor. They stepped
outside closing the door behind them.
“Surely this will take care of everything. In a few moments, we shall both be
single again.”
“I may be a widow,” she whispered solemnly to the wind, “but I’ve never been
through a divorce, especially one so painful.”
Carolyn held her arms tightly around her. How could she possibly feel the cold
when the warmth of his arms was around her heart. She was sure the Captain felt
the same as she did, but their odd fusion, she knew, would ultimately lead them
nowhere. Carolyn began shivering as the biting cold of reality seeped through
her skin down to her bones. If she stayed out any longer, with the rain coming
down as it was, pneumonia wouldn’t be far behind.
“It’s not going to work! And I’m cold,” she shouted at him on the verge of
tears, “It’s not going to work, do you hear me?” She shouted again, this time
upwards toward the darkened sky. “Captain?” He wasn’t answering and for a
terrified second she thought he was gone. “Captain”, she tried again, “can we
go in now?”
“Of course,” he finally answered. “How foolish of me to let you stand out here
in the first place. You could become ill again. I wasn’t thinking of you, I
was thinking of myself. In you go.” He opened the doors and they went into
their safe haven, marking the floor with footprints.
“You must dry off immediately,” she heard him say with concern. Carolyn agreed
and headed toward the bathroom. She still had to relieve herself and couldn’t
wait much longer.
“Madam, I trust you need to partake of your toilette. It’ll be a bit awkward
with me attached, but I shall close my ears and eyes to it.”
More like keep one eye open you mean, Carolyn suspected silently.
“Do what you must. Remember, there is no need to be reticent or shy, there
isn’t anything I haven’t seen before.”
“Captain!”
“You wouldn’t begrudge me the sight of a beautiful woman. Indulge me,” he
chuckled spiritedly, then continued in all seriousness. “The important thing
now, is for you to warm yourself and get your proper bed rest. We’ll attack
this problem again tomorrow morning. In the meantime, consider me switched-off
for the night.” He said no more.
Finally in the bathroom, Carolyn did what she needed to do, but in doing so,
shut off the light. Modesty had not overwhelmed her as long as she didn’t dwell
on the fact that she had a roguish sea captain watching her every move. He was
quiet, as he said he would be, but he was not gone.
During her shower, her bra and panties were left in place, and the light left on
for safety while she warmed herself under the streams of hot water. Then, in
darkness once again, she changed into her nightgown and robe and padded to her
room.
There in the soft light, she looked in the mirror at her rain-damp hair,
fluffing it a bit, knowing that in the morning, the tangle of blondness would be
very difficult to handle. All of the sudden, her hand turned on its own
accord. The back of it now positioned itself to caress her face! She watched
in the mirror as her fingers gently touched all her features.
“Captain?” She knew it was him. In her reflection, she could see and feel two
fingers of her hand as they laid gently on her lips, caressing them with an easy
and delicate touch. Carolyn responded with a stutter.
“I-I thought you were asleep or whatever it is you do. I thought you were
turned off,” she whispered loudly, unable to turn her head away from his touch.
“More like turned on, you mean,” he said aloud. “And blast it all, I was quiet,
as long as I could be. I may be over a hundred years old, and I may be a ghost,
but I’m still a man and haven’t forgotten what it’s like to be in close
proximity to a woman, especially one as temptingly exquisite as you.”
“You haven’t? Forgotten…, I mean?” Something had definitely awakened in
Carolyn that had been absent for a long time. She was tingling again and wanted
to hear and feel more of the Captain’s ‘charm’.
“But alas,” he sighed with a twinge of regret, “to my credit, or discredit shall
I say, I’m also a gentleman.” He relinquished her hand and she stared at it,
savoring the special moment. “Good night, Mrs. Muir.”
“Good night, Ca-a-a…” Carolyn put her finger under her nose to stifle a sneeze,
but she wasn’t fast enough, “Ah-choo! Captain. Oh, excuse me!” She realized
what had just happened. She had sneezed! “Captain? Captain? Where are you?
I just sneezed!” Had he popped out without her feeling the surge?
“I know, blast. I’m still here. Well,” he attempted to humor himself, “I might
as well make myself at home. It’s going to be a long siege. Yes,” he pointed
her hand to the telescope area, “I think some new curtains would look wonderful
there and my first bubble bath! Oh, I can’t wait!” He droned in a dull voice.
“Tell me, Mrs. Muir, what are cramps really like? Are they as bad as all
that?” She couldn’t see him, but knew he was now grinning with a sort of
hedonistic delight. Carolyn let out a frustrated moan and flopped on the bed,
having given up for the night.
In the morning, Carolyn did not care about modesty and threw any inkling of the
notion right out the window. During the night, sleep had eluded her at first,
but she eventually succumbed to exhaustion and slept fairly peacefully.
Now, having got up and dressed in a hurry, she made a mental list of things she
needed to do, while running a comb through her hair. At the top of her list,
was getting the kids up and ready for school, and finishing writing her latest
story, which was due in two days. Fortunately, on this still rainy day, the
Captain had the courtesy and insight to not disturb her morning routine.
At breakfast, Carolyn surprised Martha by wolfing down extraordinary amounts of
food and coffee.
“My, my, what’s got into you this morning,” her housekeeper queried with eyes as
large as eggs.
“Tell her you’re eating for two,” came the Captain’s response in Carolyn’s head.
“I’m not eating for two!” Carolyn absentmindedly said out loud.
“Oh,” Martha replied, satisfied with her friend’s answer. “Wha-a-a?” The
older woman did a double-take from her place at the kitchen island.
“Mrs. Muir, did you say what I think you said?”
Suddenly Carolyn belched uncharacteristically. “Excuse me! Pardon me!” She and
the Captain chimed together, as the children giggled at their mother’s lack of
manners.
“Tell Martha the meal was delicious. I don’t know when I’ve had a more
enjoyable egg and bacon. Hmm, I feel rather cheeky now after what I said about
her last night. You’ve found a jewel in her, Mrs. Muir. Still, I should have
liked pepper on my eggs.”
“Quiet!” Carolyn whispered with clenched teeth.
“Why should I be quiet?” Martha asked confused.
“Oh, no, not you, Martha,” Carolyn clarified and rolled her eyes.
Meanwhile, the children stopped eating, they as well as Martha did not
understand the curious exchanges they were having.
“Then who?” Her housekeeper flipped a towel over her shoulder and put her
hand on her hip, “Mrs. Muir, what’s going on here, are you all right?”
“I’m fine. Why does everyone keep asking me if I’m all right?” she shot
back.
“Everyone?”
“Yes, you and…and him!”
“Him who? You mean Jonathan?”
Jonathan suddenly piped up, “She means the Captain!”
“Oh, this is better than the Ed Sullivan show!” the Captain teased Carolyn.
“Shush!” Mrs. Muir tried to squelch the Captain’s remarks.
“Why are you ‘shushing’ Jonathan?” Martha asked.
“Oh, I’m not. I’m sorry hon’, I didn’t mean to. Listen, you two kids had
better get a move on. Don’t forget your homework, and Candy, remember what I
told you about your spelling test last Friday. And, don’t be late for Mrs.
Coburn, hmm?”
“Yes, mom,” the little girl sighed as her mother kissed her and her brother
on the head.
“I’m going upstairs now, I’ve got a lot of work to do, be good.” Carolyn
sailed out of the kitchen and leapt up the stairs two at a time.
She closed her bedroom door behind her and clenched her fists at her side.
Through gritted teeth she spewed, “Captain. I’d appreciate you not letting
yourself be known. Not when we’re like this. The children wouldn’t understand,
and frankly, I still don’t.” Carolyn began to pace, “I’m having trouble getting
my head around this and you’re just making it worse with your antics, especially
with Martha! What happens when I run out of explanations?”
“And good morning to you, Madam! My sincerest apologies, of course, “ his
voice rang in her head. “I’ll keep quiet for the duration until we can figure
out what to do. Meantime, perhaps working on your story will help put your mind
at ease. That’s it. You get to work and I’ll get to work as well, trying to
solve this dilemma. Never mind me. I’ll hover about in here and try to come up
with something feasible.”
“Why, thank you, I think.” Cautious of the Captain’s agreeable mood, she
tentatively accepted his change in behavior as one for the better. She really
did need to finish her piece and get it off to the editor, but it wasn’t going
to be easy. She dreaded the task knowing the Captain would constantly be
looking over her shoulder, but she must press on.
Sometime into early afternoon, a familiar voice exploded in the air, echoing
noisily around the room as Carolyn typed. She very nearly jumped out of her
skin at the Captain’s outburst.
“Balderdash!” roared the Captain’s voice.
“Captain! Don’t ever do that again! What’s the matter now? I thought you
weren’t going to speak until spoken to!”
“I wasn’t, but I can’t allow you to produce this drivel! Look here!” He
pointed her hand to a particular line of text in which a man was expressing
himself with emotion, “A man must be a man! You’ve got the lad simpering like a
prepubescent school girl!”
“What? I do not! If you think he’s childish, then look in the mirror and
you’ll see a ghost who’s been known to throw tantrums! It’s my story, and I’ll
thank you to keep your thoughts to yourself.”
“I tried. But I can only hold my tongue for an injustice so long.” On the
Captain’s impulses, Carolyn found herself standing and pacing again!
“Oh, Madam,” he gestured broadly, “don’t you see? Men don’t display
emotions like that. Your character’s too, too…blasted feminine! Make him a man
or the next thing you know he’ll be knitting socks!”
Carolyn wasn’t going to let that get by her, “Oh? You speak from personal
experience? By the way, how are those curtains coming along?” The Captain
halted.
“Mrs. Muir!! That’s a bit below the waterline. I think I’m insulted.”
“You insulted my work,” she added smugly.
“Ah, I see, an eye for an eye. But…I did no such thing. I merely offered
my criticism. I’ve always been of the opinion it is my duty to help those who
cannot help themselves. In your case, you need a lot of help.”
“Oh, you’re an insufferable, intolerable man.”
“I know, and delightfully so.” He tugged on his ear, but it was her ear and
she pulled her hand down.
“As I told you before, I don’t need or want your blasted help. Now let me
be me, I have work to do!” she said with aggravation.
“You’ll never finish at this rate. Let me help.”
“No! Go away!” She demanded.
“Believe me, I wish I could. I’ve had enough of this farce to last a
lifetime.”
“What are you talking about, you have no life, you’re dead!”
“Precisely the point. Blast!” Longing for his independence, he pounded a
fist on her desk.
“Oww! That’s my hand!” Carolyn reminded him crossly.
“Facing an eternity of this, I shall be driven to insanity,” the seaman
moaned, “I was better off on my own, then, of course, you came along--.”
“-and ruined everything I suppose.”
“Quite.” He set her hand on the telescope. Carolyn couldn’t believe what
she’d just heard.
“You can’t mean that.” Carolyn was devastated.
“I do.” He said matter of factly, “Since you and your noisy brood came
here, my life’s been turned upside down, one chaotic disaster after another, and
now this. Look at us, a pair of castaways, tarred and feathered together
without means of escape. A living hell.” He continued his tirade, “Let me see,
what do we have here. Ah, yes, a short-sighted ghost who can’t find his way
home, and a stubborn woman who claims to be a literary genius, but in truth
can’t write herself out of a blasted blow hole! I don’t know why you came here
in the first place. Anyone with a speck of common sense wouldn’t raise a family
in a decrepit house like this.”
“But this is my home!” Carolyn shouted at him feeling a new stinging in her
eyes.
“My dear, you’ll never survive with your lack of talent. What did you do
anyway, bat your dewy-eyed lashes at a professor who said you had potential?
Hmm?”
With tears fully brimming now Carolyn asked, “Why are you doing this? How
can you be so mean?” His terse words engulfed her in a suffocating bubble of
hurt and despair. This wasn’t like the Captain at all. Not her Captain. She
knew he was used to being independent, having been alone most of his life and
afterlife. But this was unfair. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, she
reasoned perhaps he knew of no way to deal with their predicament other than to
lash out at her.
But, it seemed that although the essence of the Captain’s spirit might be
within her now, the heart she had come to know and love was not. And if this
was the seaman’s true character, she had to admit she wanted none of him. At
the moment, sequestered in Gull Cottage as they were, life had truly become a
prison, for they were now locked together in a cold, dark cell without a key.
The Captain continued his insults to which she had difficulty listening,
“I’m only saying what I should have said long ago instead of humoring you.
Since we’re going to be together for an indefinite length of time, I thought
truth might be the order of the day.”
“Truth!? Stop! Stop it! I don’t want to hear anymore.” Carolyn wanted no
more of his barbs and buried her head in her hands. Without her doing it, her
hands were suddenly pulled down and her chin perched up.
“What’s this? Are you crying?”
“What do you care, you blasted pirate, leave me alone.” She shook her head
out of its tilted position.
“Oh, haven’t I told you I hate it when women cry? You’re a sorry lot, poor
devils. Women never could accept the truth. But you, Madam, I thought you, if
anyone would have had more stomach than this. Why…” Carolyn had had enough and
cut him off mid sentence, squeezing her eyes shut and balling her fists to
regain her own control.
“I hate you! I hate you!” Carolyn cried though streaming tears as she held
her stomach, “Don’t ever speak to me again you, you son of a sea-serpent! I’d
rather die than stay with you!” She ran down the stairs flying past the kitchen
and out the front door. She was already down the flagstones and onto the road
before Martha could yell to her, asking where she was headed without her coat
in the rain.
Carolyn picked her way down the path to the beach, slipping and sliding when
she lost footing as the torrent of rain trickled into her eyes and plastered her
muddy clothes to her skin. Her fingertips were numb from the cold, and some
bled as she grasped jagged rocks for support. She had to get away from the
house, to the beach to feel free. She had to get away from him, whom she now
realized cared nothing for her.
How she hated the Captain and all that he stood for. All this time, they’d been
living a lie. Why, in fact, they hadn’t been living at all! She’d been a pawn
in his silly little game. A mere sport to keep him entertained in the doldrums
of his afterlife. She paused on a boulder and laughed to the heavens, hoping
the shower of rain upon her would cleanse her of the fiendish spirit who haunted
her home and heart. Continuing on, she finally reached the bottom, and ran
along the beach, the thunder rolling and clapping above her, the clouds teasing
and tumbling their warnings of storm yet to come. Ignoring the threats of
nature around her, she climbed on a huge boulder and stood facing the sea with
outstretched arms feeling quite unfettered and free.
In a flash, a lightening bolt exploded so near her, that she was startled and
fell off the rock to the sandy beach below. Bones were not broken, but she
writhed in pain as the wind had been knocked out. A somber darkness fell.
Never aware was she, of the strong arms which lifted up her slight frame and
carried her back home.
“Mrs. Muir, dear, Mrs. Muir? Wake up dear, you need some food for strength.
I’ve made you some chicken soup and toast,” Martha held the tray at her
bedside. “Captain, she’s been asleep long enough. She really needs to eat.
Why in heavens did she go out into the rain like that? She was liable to catch
her death out there or get struck by lightning.” Martha tisked.
“I don’t know, Martha,” he lied, “but let me try to awaken her.” From the edge
of her bed where he’d sat for the last five hours, the Captain called softly to
her. “Carolyn, my dear, wakey, wakey.”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Captain is that the best you can do? Here, hold this.”
Martha shifted the tray to the Captain and gave Carolyn a soft nudge to which
she finally responded. “There, that’s better,” the housekeeper cooed. Carolyn
rubbed her eyes and focused on pair in front of her.
“Oh, Martha. Captain Gregg?” For an instant, Carolyn was relieved to see the
pair of them until she recalled her nightmare. She sprang bolt upright and
hugged the sheets to her, “Get away from me!”
“What?” Martha was stunned.
“Not you, Martha,” Carolyn pointed a finger at the Captain, “him! Get out of my
room!” She remembered everything now, “Get out of my life! Martha, do
something!”
“I would if I knew what the problem was. What’s going on between you two?” she
asked perplexed.
The Captain calmly spoke with a slight smile as he noted Carolyn’s stubborn
glare. “I’m so pleased, Mrs. Muir, that if I wanted to get out of your life, as
you say you want me to, I now have that choice, as I did not before.”
“I want you to leave now!” Carolyn refused to back off.
“Mrs. Muir,” her housekeeper intervened, “the Captain lives here, this is his
home, why would you want him to leave?”
“Because, because ... he’s insufferable, impudent, egotistic, arrogant and a
liar! That’s why.”
The Captain’s expression widened as he stared into the green depths of Carolyn’s
eyes, “My, my. Martha, cover your ears, I’m not sure you should hear anymore.”
Martha could see the two needed to resolve their problem alone. “Well, I’ll go
down and let the kids know you’re feeling better. They’re doing their
homework. Pssst,” Martha leaned into the Captain’s earshot, “I’ve locked the
doors and hidden the keys, Captain, she won’t run out again any time soon. If
she tries, she’ll have to get by me first.” Looking back at Carolyn she
offered, “Call if you need anything, dear.”
As Martha walked out, Carolyn said loudly, “What I need, Martha, is an
exterminator. I wonder where I can get one this time of night.” The door
closed as Martha chuckled on the other side.
“I told you to go away! Get out of here. Leave me alone!” Carolyn reiterated,
folding her arms in a huff and avoiding his gaze.
“My, we are grouchy.” The Captain said setting the tray in front of her.
“That’s to be expected, you’ve been through quite an experience.”
“Thanks to you.” Suddenly, Carolyn realized she could see the Captain and he
could see her. She sat up so quickly, the soup sloshed over when the tray
nearly fell off the bed. “We’re apart! I’m here and you’re there! I see you!”
“And what a lovely sight you are.”
“Oh, thank God. There is a God after all.” She pressed her hands together,
“What happened, did I sneeze? Oh, this is perfect. Now, you can leave, and let
us live in peace. By the way, I thought I told you I never wanted you to speak
to me again.”
“You did. But then you mustn’t ask questions that need to be answered.
However, as you wish, from now on, my lips are sealed.”
“Wait, that’s not fair, you didn’t answer my question! How did we
separate?”
With a shrug, the seaman indicated he couldn’t respond, then stood, waved
goodbye and vanished.
“Oh, sometimes you can be a pain in the…aft!” She shouted out to the air,
“Good riddence!”
The following morning, Carolyn found another note placed in her wall
sconce. She was afraid of opening the letter fearing it was a goodbye note from
the Captain, for despite all her misgivings, and the horrific experience they’d
been through, she was already missing him dreadfully. The Captain had not yet
appeared that day and it wasn’t until after luncheon with Martha, that she dared
open the letter in her room.
Sitting in the big leather chair, she popped the wax seal and read.
Dear Lady,
As promised, my lips are sealed, otherwise I’d have spoken these words to
you directly as they should have been. My promise of silence has not deterred
me from writing to you my sincerest words of apology. I hope you will forgive
me my barrage of coarseness imposed upon you the other day, but the method was
necessary to achieve the desired result. In this case, the end justified the
means, however crass and inconceivable they may have seemed.
You see, during the first night of our symbiotic relationship, having
discovered we could not separate by will or mechanical means, while you slept, I
deduced that the very simple and powerful emotion of love kept us linked
together. Our hearts were bound as one, as in the poem I read to you, ‘And in
this harbor of love, there I shall live, most content, my heart forever entwined
with thee.’
Unexpectedly, we had come upon our moment of truth, that blissful and fulfilling
moment of the recognition of the love between us. Any other man and woman would
have followed due course naturally, however, we were caught in our own
specialness, in our own miracle, best to be explained as supernatural.
I do not pretend to know all there is to know of life or the afterlife, but
I do know there is a difference between our worlds, a difference which has yet
to be defined. And knowing this difference to be tenuous at best, I knew we
could not, must not, stay together.
If love is what ultimately brought us together, surely the equally powerful
emotions of indifference or hate, by one or both of us, would certainly tear us
apart. Ultimately, I knew I must bring forth your hate for me, make you despise
me completely, enough to cast me from the depths of your heart. And what a sad,
sorrowful duty that was to carry out.
But, in the end, you freed yourself, my dear. And you finally freed me, so that
I could love you again.
Yours truly,
Captain Daniel Gregg
Carolyn laid the note on her lap as the stubborn rays of the sun finally
broke through the muted clouds. The sunbeams glinted off the telescope’s brass,
catching her eye, compelling her to look its way. When she gazed up from the
chair, the Captain was visible at the scope’s eye-piece, peering studiously down
at the flotsam from the storm on the beach below. For long moments, they
remained silent until the seaman spoke.
“Permission to speak?” he asked still perusing the seascape.
“Granted,” she allowed herself to say as she stood and moved behind him,
hoping he would talk to her. He said nothing. Only the wailing cries of the
seagulls could be heard at the land’s end. She moved again then, this time in
front of the French doors to be in his direct line of vision. Still, he ignored
her as he remained focused on the expanse outside. She turned to see what he
was seeing and was suddenly startled at the pitch of his voice.
“By the look of it, the worst seems to be over. Wouldn’t you agree?”
“Yes, yes I think so. But you’re the weather expert.”
The Captain finally stood erect to address her properly, his piercing gaze
making her uncomfortable enough so that she opened the bay doors and stepped
outside. He followed her in silence. For emotional support, Carolyn held onto
the spindles of the ship’s wheel as she had done many times before. The
exchange, which would inevitably happen between them, could go either way, but
on the balcony, there was no where else to go but forward in their thinking.
“My,” the seaman started to say, rocking on his heels like a schoolboy with
his hands behind his back, “I’ve always considered the weather’s mood to be
idyllic after a storm, especially after a squall like this one. Oh, it’s
glorious! Don’t you think?” he smiled and continued. “The air is crisp and all
that is dark has been washed away leaving a lustrous shine on everything, like
the beginning of a newborn day. It's been a long siege, hasn’t it, Madam. And
for the most part, we’ve come through unscathed.” He turned to her as she
continued to face the sea. Carolyn knew he was talking about their accidental
affair, not the storm, and now was the time to broach the subject of his letter.
“I read your letter. I think you’re apologizing for something which
couldn’t be helped. I knew that wasn’t you. My heart knew it too.”
“Then, I am forgiven,” he hoped as she turned to face him.
“On one condition.”
“Yes, yes anything you say, my dear, as always, I am your humble servant,”
he subsequently bowed his head and clicked his spirited heels together.
“Finish the curtains.”
“Curtains!?”
“Yes, the curtains hanging just inside by the telescope, have holes! Moth
holes! And they’re so thin I can see through them. I want new ones that look
exactly the same,” she said with some seriousness and proceeded to lecture him
further, “If you need help, you can always ask Martha, she’d be more than
happy…” The Captain interrupted her in a mock tirade.
“Blasted females!”
By now, Carolyn’s expression was changing. Laughing heartily now, with the
precious smile of forgiveness he had grown to love, the Captain continued his
furious, but false condemnation of the opposite sex, “Women have no regard for
the male ego! No sentimentality! No sympathy! No wonder!” He paused, tenderly
fixing his gaze on hers, “You’re my Valentine.”