Priorities

"Come now, Jonathan, my boy. I'm going to show you how to make some
proper knots."
Jonathan grinned up at the Captain. "Groovy!"
The two hunched over rope in the attic, and painstakingly the Captain
demonstrated various knots, making Jonathan practice them until the boy
could do them quickly and efficiently.
"I learned some special Celtic knots from my mother's family ... the
trinity and the eternity knot. Here, like this."
"That looks hard, Captain," Jonathan observed.
"Nonsense! Try it, lad." the Captain urged.
Hesitantly, Jonathan awkwardly twisted the rope. Finally the
Captain's hands were on his, directing him again. As they worked, the
Captain spoke casually about these knots also being known as a love
knot.
"Yuck!" said Jonathan, automatically dropping his hands.
The Captain chuckled. "None of that, my boy. Come along, try
again. You know, that is something you could do for your mother for her
birthday."
"What?"
"Make a love knot doormat. We made them out of coco fibers when I
was young. They symbolized the binding of love found in the home. The
love knot doormats blessed the doors of bygone days. You could make one
for your mother to bring warm wishes to the threshold of Gull Cottage!"
Jonathan pondered the idea for a while. "Well, Captain ... it sounds
nice ... I guess. I know she would like it. But ... well ... I think
I'd rather make a hammock."
"A hammock?"
"Yeah! Danny has one, and it's really neat! It's made out of rope
and knots ... I think his mom made it and called it nacrame or something
like that ... I bet you could make a hammock! You can do anything!"
"Yes, I can make a hammock. I made a number of them in my time." the
Captain admitted.
"Will you show me how?"
"Aye, lad."
"Cool! Then you could make the love knot thingy for Mom yourself.
And YOU could give it to her."
"We will see about that."
"If I can get the hammock made, maybe I'll let her sleep in it on her
birthday." Jonathan grinned. "Just for the one night. Instead of in
your bed."
The Captain almost choked. "MY bed?"
"Yeah. It WAS yours, wasn't it? When you were alive, I mean. She
just took it over when we moved here. Right?"
"Jonathan, my boy, I think ..."
"Jonathan!" the two were interrupted by Carolyn's call from
downstairs. "Is your homework done yet?"
"No. I'm coming, Mom!" The boy turned back to the Captain.
"Captain, tomorrow's Friday, then I have two days off school. Can we
make a hammock in that much time?"
"It will be a lot of work." the Captain said, gravely. "I think it
might take more than two days."
"That's okay. I was just hoping we could do it before it gets too
cold. I mean, it's already the middle of October. I want to sleep
OUTSIDE in my hammock. And hey, Captain, Mom's birthday is the end of
November, remember. You should do that love knot thing for the front
door for her. She'd like it if you did it. I know."
The Captain smiled. "She would like you to run downstairs and do
your homework. That much *I* know!"
"Mothers." the boy muttered. "Okay." He gave the Captain an
impulsive hug. "Thank you, Captain. I love you."
"And I love you, lad." Captain Gregg's eyes followed the figure of
the young boy out the door. There was a frown on his face as he
pondered the boy's words. Thought it pained him to accept, he thought
perhaps he should begin distancing himself from the children. Jonathan
had already put up with so much from others because of his association
with the Captain from the very beginning. Candy had ridiculed him and
berated him for believing in that stupid ghost'. Martha had patronized
and condescended when she talked about your imaginary friend'. Even
now that both Candy and Martha realized Jonathan had been telling the
truth, the children had been bound by their mother's rules not to talk
about the Captain to anyone outside of Gull Cottage. It was not fair to
either Candy or Jonathan to continue to try to be a part of their
lives. Yet he could not even remotely imagine withdrawing from
Carolyn's life. He could no more do that than he could have allowed
himself to be thrown off his own ship mid-ocean. She was intertwined
within the very fibres of his soul, and had been since long before they
actually met. Oh, he loved the children, but what he felt for their
mother made the word love' seem too small, too insignificant.
And Jonathan was aware of it.
Captain Gregg almost cringed. Over the months spent getting to know
one another, the Muirs had come to realize that although the Captain was
an illusion, he could be a very TANGIBLE illusion if need be. Claymore
had, to his eternal regret, found that out many years ago. It could
only become more difficult for the children as they grew older. The
Captain shied away from any thought of leaving Carolyn, but he became
more and more resolved to begin the process of withdrawing from active
participation in the children's lives. AFTER the hammock was made, of
course!
* * * * * * * * * *
The next evening, shortly after Jonathan and the Captain had begun
work on the hammock in the alcove, Ralph Muir arrived unexpectedly. He
explained that Marjorie had insisted on stopping for some groceries in
Schooner Bay, since they planned to spend the night, so he had left her
there to follow in a taxi, and he had come up to Gull Cottage to make
sure the family was still there.
Candy giggled. "Oh, Grandfather! Where did you think we were going
to go? This is our home now!"
"I guess I was hoping maybe you had changed your mind." he looked
around, a scowl on his face. After surreptitiously swiping a finger
along the mantle and examining the dust-free fingertip, he snorted as he
caught Martha's knowing glance. "I have to check, Elizabeth."
Martha swallowed a retort, and said stiffly, "I'll get some tea, Mr.
Johnson."
"Elizabeth, we've had this discussion many times before. How can
your memory be so abysmal? My name is Mr. Muir! And I hate tea. Don't
you have anything stronger? Marjorie's not here yet, so she'll never
know."
Carolyn jumped in at this point, before Martha could say anything
more. "Martha would be happy to fetch the Madeira, Ralph."
"But *I* will not! That's MY Madeira!" suddenly the Captain joined
the fray. Carolyn glared at him, and he smiled blandly back at her.
"Too late." Martha grinned, a trifle maliciously. "Here's the taxi
with Mrs. Muir. I'll put the kettle on." and she hurried out, greeting
Marjorie at the front door.
"What on earth are you doing, Jonathan?" now Ralph was standing in
the entryway to the alcove, looking disapprovingly at all the hemp.
"Macrame." Jonathan answered promptly, having learned the proper name
by this time.
"Macrame! That's plant hanger making! Artsy-craftsy kind of thing.
Not something a BOY should be doing! What happened to the Captain? I
thought he was going to be your new father. Where's this wonderful
male influence' you were supposed to have now that your mother is
marrying the Captain?"
"Ralph, dear, please, we just got here ..." Marjorie tried to
intervene.
Carolyn had flushed at the reference to her marrying the Captain.
She caught the raised eyebrow and wicked grin on the Captain's face, but
he said nothing.
"Oh, she won't marry him." Candy said. "But he IS a good influence
on us. He's just as good, probably better, than ..." she broke off,
suddenly. Carolyn knew she had been about to say, a father', but
fortunately had remembered that she was speaking to her father's
parents.
Jonathan, too, rushed into speech. "I'm real good friends with Danny
Shoemaker now, and Danny's Dad took us camping with a couple of other
guys. Danny has a hammock, and we put our hands and feet through the
holes and "flip" each other over so we 'hang' upside down. The first
one to fall to the ground loses." Then he added excitedly, "I wrestle
around with Danny and when we went camping, we did lots of guy stuff
like making cool noises with our hands in our armpits. Can you do that
too, Grandfather?"
Ralph looked pained, and said nothing more about macrame OR male
influence. Carolyn flashed a glance at the startled-looking Marjorie,
then demurely lowered her eyelashes, trying not to smile.
Later that night, after the others had retired, the Captain appeared
in Carolyn's room. "Mrs. Muir, there is something I have been meaning
to mention to you for some time now ..."
"Yes, Captain?" Carolyn looked at him expectantly.
"It is about the children. I feel that I should warn you ..." again
he stopped, looking frustrated.
"What is it?" Beginning to get a little worried, Carolyn stepped
closer to him. "Captain?"
"Blast it all, Madam! They are YOUR children, not mine! I plan to
begin distancing myself from them. It is not fair to them. Your
father-in-law is quite right. Jonathan needs REAL male influence, not
ghostly influence. Candy needs ..."
"I thought we had sorted this out already. You know, Captain, I read
something today ... where is it?" Carolyn rummaged through the papers on
her desk, then pulled a magazine out triumphantly. "Listen to this.
It's called Priorities. A hundred years from now, it will not matter
what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of
car I drove ... but the world may be different because I was important
in the life of a child.' You are very important to both Jonathan and
Candy. You know that. Really, Captain, as far as I am concerned, it is
not necessary at all for you to distance yourself from them. In fact, I
think trying to pull out of their lives now would be a mistake."
Almost against his will, the Captain's face brightened. "Really,
Mrs. Muir? You are not just saying that, to appease me?"
"REALLY, Captain Gregg." she assured him, not daring to smile in case
he thought she was joking. He hadn't needed to be reassured for quite
some time now about his place in their lives. She wondered just what
had brought it up now. Surely it wasn't just Ralph's comments!
* * * * * * * * *
Because of numerous interruptions, it was a couple of weeks before
Jonathan managed to finish his hammock. At last, on his birthday in
early November, he was done. Naturally he wanted to sleep outside under
the stars.
"Jonathan! It's winter!" Carolyn exclaimed. "I'm afraid you'll just
have to wait until next summer for that."
"Oh, Mom! It's not that cold out. Our sleeping bag is a thermal one
the Scout leader said it's good to sleep on the SNOW with it! And
there's no storm. Please?"
"Madam, if I may be so bold ... I think it would be possible to
position the hammock up on the bridge."
"The widow's walk? But it's so high ..." Carolyn hesitated.
"There is not much wind tonight, it is quite balmy out, as a matter
of fact. I promise to be with him the entire time so he is in no danger
of going overboard."
"Really? Wow, that's neat, Captain. PLEASE, Mom? Can I?"
"MAY I?" Carolyn inserted quickly.
"No, ME!" Jonathan looked upset for an instant, then he grinned
sheepishly. "Sorry. MAY I sleep up there tonight? Please? It's my
birthday, and it's not a school night ... And it's not that cold out
now, really!"
"Yeah, Mom." Candy chimed in. "Let him. Then can I try it next
weekend if it isn't stormy? For MY birthday?"
Jonathan considered her request doubtfully, then sighed. "Yeah, all
right. Just as long as you don't get cooties on it, or wreck it!"
"Oh, Jonathan, really!" Candy rolled her eyes.
"Please, Mom?"
Carolyn was concerned, but couldn't resist the combined pleading
glances of the two children and the Captain. She sighed. "All right.
But if you get sick, don't blame me!"
"Thanks, Mom, you're the greatest!" Jonathan threw his arms around
her and hugged her.
Candy did likewise, saying, "We could always make it a birthday
tradition to sleep in the hammock outside!"
Martha sniffed. "Remind me to never reveal when MY birthday is."
Laughing, Carolyn hugged her children back, her eyes meeting the
Captain's. He bowed slightly. "I WILL keep watch, CLOSE watch on them
both, you may be assured of that, my dear."
"Thank you. I'll hold you to that."
* * * * * * *
Although she found it hard not to voice her concern about the "roof"
adventure, the next day Carolyn was intrigued by Jonathan's stories of
how great it was to sleep in a hammock up in the crow's nest' the next
day. "It's real neat, Mom! You can lie there and look up into the
stars, and you just know that everything will be all right with your
life. You know what I mean? I started thinking about Gull Cottage, and
the Captain being here and all that. Do you realize he has been here
for one hundred years?"
"He's well preserved for his age." Martha said dryly, as she set
orange juice at everyone's place at the breakfast table.
"I started thinking about what Gull Cottage would be like in another
hundred years. Imagine ... 2070. D'you think Gull Cottage would still
be here?"
"It is well built, my boy." the Captain said.
"Will YOU still be here, Captain?" Candy asked.
"I'm always here," the Captain spoke a little shortly. Neither of
the children noticed.
Carolyn gazed at him for a moment, then was paralyzed by Jonathan's
next question.
"Do you think YOU'LL still be here, Mom? With the Captain?"
Feeling as if her breath had been taken away, Carolyn stared at
Jonathan, then Candy. Both looked at her inquiringly. She floundered
for a moment. "Well, I ... I don't know. I certainly won't be alive to
be here, unless medical technology makes some pretty serious advances
"I hardly think THAT will happen, to be honest." Martha drank her
coffee.
"So will you stay here with the Captain? If you can?"
"We don't know what is going to happen, do we?" Carolyn said lightly,
not looking at the Captain.
"Mom! Just answer the question! If you can, would you stay here
with the Captain forever?" Candy was exasperated.
Carolyn took a sip of her coffee. "Probably." she finally said. She
peeked at the Captain and saw the broad smile which spread across his
face.
"Keen! Then I can bring my grandchildren here to meet you both!"
Jonathan grinned. "TWO ghosts!"
Choking on her coffee, Carolyn put the cup down. "Jonathan, I hardly
think ..."
"Such talk for the breakfast table! That's all Gull Cottage needs.
Two ghosts!" Martha shook her head and got up.
"Seems to me your mother said something similar when that misfit dolt
was here that time ..." the Captain began.
"Elroy!" Candy shouted.
"That is correct. Your mother had the nerve to say that one ghost
was quite enough."
Laughing in spite of herself, Carolyn finally met the Captain's
eyes. "As it was at the time!"
"As if that bumbling booby could be in any way compared to ME!"
"Well, he claims you taught him to haunt a house properly."
"That was YOUR doing, madam, not mine, I assure you!"
"There WERE two ghosts here at one time?" Martha sat back on her
chair with a thump, an amazed look on her face.
"For a very SHORT time, Martha." Carolyn said.
"More than long enough." grumbled the Captain.
"We had a terrible time trying to get him to act like a ghost,
remember, Jonathan? He tried to scare Martha, and she sucked him up in
the vacuum cleaner!" Candy giggled.
"I did?" Martha smiled at that.
"I think Claymore saved the day for poor Elroy." Carolyn said. "He
was properly terrified."
"Your inspiration, my dear." the Captain conceded.
"I wonder if he has learned to walk through doors and walls yet?"
mused Carolyn.
"I wish I was a ghost. It would be so cool!" Jonathan's face was
shining. "I thought about it a lot while I was sleeping in the hammock
last night. Pretending I was on the Captain's ship, and everything.
Just like him. Wouldn't that be neat?"
"I'd rather be living." Martha said firmly. She began to clear off
the table, the children helping.
The Captain's face was a study of emotion. Carolyn looked at him,
and knew he was thinking of his desire to distance himself from the
children. He believed it unhealthy for them to see him as a typical
male role model, and Jonathan's words just now seemed to bear that view
out. She wanted to reassure him again, but couldn't find the words to
do it. In a moment, he had vanished.
* * * * * * * * * * *
The morning of Carolyn's birthday dawned clear and unseasonably
warm. Jonathan gave her a card at the breakfast table, and told her
that his gift to her was a night in the hammock on the widow's walk.
"Jonathan, it's the end of November! I can't sleep outside tonight!"

"But it's nice out, Mom." he argued. "Isn't it, Captain?"
"A storm is in the offing, but it will hold off for a day or two, I
believe." the Captain said.
"You should try it, Mom. It was so cool." Candy urged.
"That's what I'm afraid of." Carolyn smiled wryly.
"Oh, Mom, not COLD! COOL!" Candy rolled her eyes.
"But I ..."
"Try it, Mom." Jonathan begged.
"Go for it, Mrs. Muir." Martha chuckled. "It'll be an experience."
"What if I fall off the roof?" Carolyn grinned.
"Oh, Mom! The Captain will be there with you all night! He wouldn't
let you fall. Right, Captain?"
"Er, right, Jonathan."
"See, Mom? The Captain will take care of you, just like he did us."
Candy said.
"That I'd like to see," muttered Martha.
Carolyn's eyes narrowed as she looked at the housekeeper, but Martha
turned away without saying another word. "I don't think ..."
"Please, Mom? You gotta try it. Your whole thinking changes! It's
not the same as sitting outside. You lie on the hammock and it swings a
little, and you look at the stars ... and everything seems to think
itself and everything that's muddled comes right again. You just GOTTA
try it." Jonathan pleaded.
"All right. I suppose I could do with some muddle-sorting' right
now." Carolyn finally caved in.
The children cheered. The Captain's warm gaze rested on her face,
and Carolyn began to fidget under his regard. "Time for school,
children!" she said at last.
Later that night, after Jonathan and Candy had set the sleeping bag
and blankets on the hammock and advised Carolyn to wear a flannel nighty
to bed before going to sleep themselves, Carolyn stood in her bedroom,
looking at herself in her dresser mirror.
"You're crazy to try this, you know that, don't you? Insane!" she
told herself. Then she shrugged. "But what else are birthdays for but
to do something wild and foolish? Hammock, here I come."
She made her way upstairs and stood shivering at the door for a
moment. Then, taking a deep breath, she hurried up and out onto the
deck of the widow's walk. The hammock, looking deceptively comfortable,
swayed gently. Carolyn touched it, trying to figure out how to get in
without it upsetting her.
"Do you need some assistance before you freeze, my dear?" the Captain
was suddenly behind her.
"Could you hold it steady?" she asked, half-laughing.
"I could get on it first, NOT in the covers, of course, and you could
join me." he suggested, a wicked twinkle evident in his eyes.
Carolyn considered that proposition for a moment. She knew she
should be horrified, outraged, even. But the thought of lying in his
arms, even circumspectly, was wonderful. What a delightful birthday
gift to herself!
"Thank you." she accepted, to his surprise.
In a few minutes, they were settled. Carolyn lay at the Captain's
side, his arm around her firmly. They were looking up at the stars.
"Jonathan was right." she said at last.
"You have a good lad there, my dear."
"Thanks a great deal to you, Captain."
"The children HAVE seemed to be doing well, even with my presence."
he conceded.
"See?" Carolyn snuggled a little closer. "Priorities. All that
matters is that you make a difference in a child's life. You've done
that. The world is different for Jonathan and Candy now. Better."
"Only the children's life and world?"
"And mine." she admitted softly. "And mine, Daniel."
His arms tightened about her for a moment, then he changed the
subject. They talked about his time at sea, rocking gently in the
hammock to imitate the motion of the ship, and smelling the sea air.
Carolyn was tucked against his left side, her right hand holding his
left. As they talked, he absently rubbed his thumb in her palm.
He spoke of the doldrums those worst hours of all, the nerve-
racking days considered the most excruciating by any seaman. The
doldrums, when the fickle wind denied them breath, leaving the ship to
drift aimlessly on a merciless sea. The doldrums, when the urge for
home became agonizing. The doldrums, when wasted days only lengthened
the voyage, profiting nothing, bringing a feeling of utter helplessness
until tempers flared and vicious fights broke out on board. He had
shared the doldrums with shipmates who fought the lassitude with the
only pastime available scrimshaw.
"YOU carved some scrimshaw?" Carolyn asked in surprise.
"Aye. Most of us did."
"Were you any good at it?" she teased gently.
He laughed softly. "At first I was inept and impatient. The initial
pieces were rough and not worth keeping. But I persisted, with the help
of others, and finally produced some worthwhile pieces."
"Like what?" Carolyn wanted to know. "Can I see them?"
"Some day."
"I want to see them NOW." she smiled beguilingly at him.
"I don't want to move now." and he tightened his arms about her. She
nestled into his body. "I made a busk," he said when she was
comfortable.
"A ... a busk?"
"Aye. It was a strip of bone about a foot long, very thin and highly
polished, to slip into a casing along the front of a bodice. Much like
a batten on a sail. It was meant to serve as a reminder to the woman
who wore it that she must remain true to her seafaring man until he
returned."
"I see. And you made one."
"Aye."
Carolyn refused to ask the obvious question, but she wondered for
whom he had so lovingly carved such a personal item.
"I also made a jewelry casket." he said, abruptly. "For you."
"For me?" she made a sudden movement. "Not for ...?"
"No. Not for Vanessa. I made it WITH all of my love FOR my love ...
and I kept it until I found you, Carolyn. Only now will it come out of
my sea chest and be displayed proudly on your bureau. Only now, my
dear."
He kissed her hair and breathed in her lovely scent. He wondered how
he had been so fortunate as to have found her, and whether or not he
would be strong enough to let her go. For let her go, he must. He
could not be to her what he wished to be, could not give her what she
should have by rights. His arms tightened instinctively around her, and
she suddenly knew what he was thinking.
"Daniel?"
"Hmm?"
"You CAN give me the life I deserve. With your love upholding me, I
can do anything. The world is different because you are important, very
important, in my life. Remember, Daniel? Priorities. We have this
moment, this moment of my lifetime. The past doesn't matter, nor does
the future, really. We have managed to build a bridge between our
worlds, we have secured a future. The only future I want until that
time when we can be together for eternity. Don't ever ask me to leave
you. Don't ever think about leaving."
"But ..."
Carolyn interrupted him. "Please, Daniel. You KNOW we belong
together."
"Aye." he agreed. "Together forever, Carolyn."
"Were you trying to argue with me?" she lifted herself up carefully
to peer accusingly into his eyes.
"Blast it, woman! I just agreed with you, did I not?"
Carolyn elbowed him teasingly in the ribs, then clutched him as the
hammock swayed dangerously. As the movement slowed again, she nestled
against him, smiling to herself as she looked up into the starry sky.
Jonathan was correct. Sleeping out under the stars DID help you to sort
out your life and your priorities and make everything come right again!