Sequel to "MUSIC MAKER"             Susan G.

   Carolyn followed Martha into the alcove where Tim was sitting at the piano.  Claymore was in attendance, and Jonathan and Candy were eagerly awaiting the performance.  Candy waved her arm and announced with a flourish, "And the big show is about to begin...!"
   Sitting in her chair, Carolyn suddenly became aware of the Captain by her side.  "Pay heed, madam." he said to her, quietly.  "This song speaks to you."
   In surprise, she murmured in an aside to him, "You mean, YOU had something to do with it?"
   He nodded in acknowledgement.
   Tim introduced the song by saying, "The story tells of a love that just can't be.  It has a haunting lyric."
   "Naturally." added the Captain.  "You'll hear the young man's voice, Mrs. Muir, but my thoughts."  His gaze was fixed on hers.  With some reluctance, she forced herself to look away, towards Tim.  The Captain's thoughts in a song of a love that just can't be?  NATURALLY a haunting lyric?  He must have written a poem!  THAT must have been the surprise he had been trying to share with her outside during the day yesterday, and last night on the verandah!  He had said something about poetry ... and now this song was to speak to her?
   "Tim," Claymore reminded him, in a loud aside.  "Remember the bread!"
   "And the pancakes!" Tim agreed.  He took a deep breath, then began to sing, pounding out an accompaniment on the piano, giving the song a hard-rock sound.  The children were taken aback; Martha, one hand covering an ear, tried politely to listen, Claymore was grinning and beating time with his hand.  Seeing the Captain's expression of sheer horror, Carolyn began laughing, unable to contain herself.  When Tim launched into some wails at the end of the first verse, the Captain was too appalled to remain immobile an instant longer.  With a violent crack of thunder, he disappeared, and the pounding rain and sudden weather tantrum put an end to the song as everyone ran to close the windows that were blowing open and shut in the gale.
   As they settled down again, laughing rather nervously and breathlessly, Tim picked up his guitar.  "What you heard is what I like to call the managerial sound.  I'd like to do the same song with MY sound.  Weather permitting."
   This time, the song came across as a soulful ballad.  Curled up in her chair, Carolyn became aware of the Captain at her side again as the first verse ended.  She felt him looking at her, and found herself
beginning to blush, knowing that these were words he had written expressly for her to hear from HIM.  Wistfully, she imagined him linking her arm in his as he longed to do, according to the second verse.  Feeling suddenly hot, her hand came up to the collar of her blouse, and she fingered it, the expression on her face dreamy as she lost herself in the words of the song.  She sensed the Captain looking away as Tim sang the final line, "My lips cannot touch yours," and knew that he was feeling the way she was.  What could she say?  THIS is what he had been trying to tell her last night on the verandah!  Her ‘if onlys' rose again, stronger than ever before.
   Amid the clapping after the song finished, Carolyn risked a look at the Captain.  "The song is lovely ..." she spoke under cover of the other noise in the room.  "And your poem is BEAUTIFUL, Captain." Her eyes were full of her love for him, her smile tender.
   The Captain cleared his throat, somewhat embarrassed.  He was clearly gratified by her praise, but he straightened slightly and said, "Just a piece of ... doggerel ... I wrote a long time ago, madam."  He looked searchingly at her, then away.  "A VERY long time ago."  Unable to resist, his eyes met hers once more. 
   She smiled her lovely smile.  This was not the time to have a long talk in privacy ... but it would come!  As soon as she could engineer it!  She turned back to Tim, still clapping with the others.
   "You did a wonderful job, Tim.  I MUCH prefer your sound.  It seems the weather did too!"
   "The words were terrific." Martha added.  "Did you write them?"
   "No.  Actually, I found them here!  When I woke up this morning, they were on the table by my bed."
   "Here?!  Mrs. Muir, are you writing poetry now?" Martha turned to Carolyn.
   "Not I!" Carolyn shook her head, laughing.  "I'm afraid I'm not much good at poetry.  And this is ... beautiful."
   "Maybe the Captain wrote it." Jonathan volunteered.  "It sounds like something he might say.  It talks about sailing and stuff." 
   Carolyn hoped Jonathan was still a little too young to realize that it ALSO talked about love ... but he probably wasn't!  More than likely, he just wasn't letting on that he thought the song was expressly written for his mother!
   Surprisingly enough, Candy didn't immediately jump on Jonathan the way she usually did when he mentioned the Captain.  She pondered the words of the song, looked at her mother thoughtfully, then at the portrait of the Captain, and finally at Jonathan.  "Can a ghost write on paper so it can be seen?" she asked.
   "Oh, Candy!" Martha laughed.  "Now YOU'RE starting to believe in Jonathan's imaginary friend?  It doesn't matter where Tim found the words.  The song will be a smash hit!"
   Up until now, Claymore had been silent.  Having grimaced and made faces during the presentation, he wasn't sure anything he said would be listened to anyway, but he said, "Norrie's Lobster House would still be a good place to launch your career ... with that song!  And I don't think a ghost could have written THAT ... it's much too nice for HIM ... uhh, for anyone else to have written.  You must have done it in your sleep, Tim." he laughed, nervously.
   "Why, you...!"
   Carolyn felt the Captain's immediate bristling, and stood up quickly to prevent the outburst.  "Come on in to the kitchen for some breakfast and coffee, everyone.  We've kept Tim far too long as it is.  I'm sure he's anxious to be on his way."
   "Well, I AM, rather.  Steve and I came out last night to decide what I'm going to sing next week ... the radio station is having a star search and talent contest.  That's why we were on your beach.  I'm sorry, we didn't realize it was a private beach."
   "The song more than made up for the trespassing." Carolyn said quickly, before Claymore could say anything.  "I phoned the tow truck this morning, so the van should be out as soon as they get here."
   "Just rake over the sand where you dug the tires in." Claymore said.  "Then ten dollars should cover the inconvenience..."
   "Claymore!" Carolyn glared at him.  "You're gouging again!"
   "It's MY property!" Claymore whined.
   "It's MINE, you money-grubbing parasite ... and I'll thank you to LEAVE!" the Captain growled in his ear.
   "But, even though it's mine, I'm glad you could park your van on it last night ... keep me in mind when you decide you need a new manager, Tim!  Goodbye!  I won't stay for coffee, Mrs. Muir, thank you anyway!"
and Claymore ran out the door, hopped in his car and drove away quickly.
   Tim stared after him, puzzled by the sudden departure.  "Is he always so ... so ..."
   "Always." Martha said dryly.
   Carolyn grinned, adding, "Well, not ALWAYS, but quite often!"
   While he was drinking his coffee, Tim said, "Now, about this song.  I DID find it here.  Do you think it would be possible to use it?"
   "I'm sure it would be all right." Carolyn said, casting a quick glance around, but not seeing the Captain in sight.
   "I'd like to use it as my entry for the Talent Search next week.  But I don't want to break any copyright laws.  And I WOULD like a name to credit for the lyrics."
   "I STILL think it was probably Captain Gregg." Jonathan said.
   "I still think you must have written it in your sleep!" Martha filled Tim's cup, and Carolyn's, before sitting down again.
   "You know, I can hear this voice saying in my mind, ‘you will find a poem.  You will set it to music and perform it, and Carolyn Muir will finally HEAR it.'" Tim mused.
   Carolyn's heart had leapt at his words, knowing the Captain had to have said them.  AND he had used her first name!  SHE had never heard that from his lips!  It was always ‘Madam' or ‘Mrs. Muir' or ‘Dear Lady', it seemed.  She would LOVE to hear her name spoken in that low, velvety voice!
   Tim continued talking, "So if I DID write it, it must have been by hypnotic suggestion!  Is your first name Carolyn?" he turned to her.
   "Y-yes, it is."  Then Carolyn laughed.  "I was born at the beginning of Advent.  My father loves Christmas carols, and has always said he named me that so I could be carolin' all year around!  Little did he know I wouldn't have much of a singing voice!"  She hoped that story would get Martha and the children off the topic of someone writing the song to HER.  She could see Jonathan itching to say something more, so was very thankful that at that moment, the tow truck arrived.
   After Tim's van had been pulled out of the sand and he had left, Carolyn walked back up from the beach with Candy.  Jonathan and Scruffy had raced ahead and gone into the house..
   "Mom?" Candy spoke as they went through the gate into the yard of Gull Cottage.
   "Yes, Candy?" Carolyn stopped and looked inquiringly at her daughter.
   "I bet Captain Gregg wrote that song for you, didn't he?  That's why Tim said he heard that voice telling him to sing it for Carolyn Muir." Candy looked older and wiser than her years.  "I guess Jonathan was right about him being here.  I started wondering when you cut down that Monkey Puzzle tree, and everything felt so different.  I've been watching you and Jonathan closely ... you have a secret that you're not telling Martha and me."
   "Oh, Candy ..." Carolyn began, feeling the sadness in Candy's words.
   "I've tried to see him when I think he's there with you or with Jonathan, but I can't.  But he DOES make it rain and storm, just like Jonathan said.  That's what woke me up last night.  And he did it again this morning when Tim sang his song that awful way at first.  I just wish I could see him.  Do you think maybe he's scared of me?"
   "Confound it, what is it with females?  Both of you accusing me of cowardice before you even know me!" Suddenly the Captain was there before them, a scowl on his face, although Carolyn detected tenderness in his eyes.
   Carolyn looked at her daughter.  Candy was staring at the Captain with big eyes, then she jutted out her chin.  "Well, then why haven't you shown yourself to me before?" she demanded.
   "My dear Candy, you are very like your mother, aren't you?  Full of spunk." the Captain's face broke into a smile and he looked from one to the other. 
   Carolyn's face was a study, her thoughts whirling.  Why had he suddenly appeared to Candy, with no explanation beforehand and without warning?  He certainly didn't seem to be REALLY angry about being called cowardly again, although he was putting on a bit of a show of it.  Yet her daughter wasn't fazed!  As she herself hadn't been the first time meeting with the Captain, she realized.  Candy must be more like her than she had thought!
   "You DID write that song, didn't you?" Candy asked the Captain.
   "TIM wrote the song.  The lyrics were mine, yes."
   "For Mom."  Candy looked smug at being proved right.  "That's what I thought."
   Showing faint displeasure with underlying discomfort, the Captain tried to bluster a bit.  "Nonsense!  I wrote it a long time ago!"
   "Oh, Captain!" Candy scoffed, ignoring his look of surprise that she could sound just like her mother when exasperated with him, "Mom was just telling us about a month ago that people fall in love when they see something special in each other.  Jonathan and I were talking about it after..."
   "Candy," Carolyn finally got her voice back, and she muttered her daughter's name with a warning look.
   "Okay, I'll leave you alone." the girl's enthusiasm dimmed.
   "Females!" the Captain vanished abruptly, only to reappear on the widow's walk, staring out over the ocean with an air of completely ignoring anyone on the lawn of Gull Cottage. 
   For a moment, Candy and Carolyn were both silent.  Then Candy looked at Carolyn.  "He DID write it for you." she insisted, but with a touch of uncertainty in her voice.
   "I think so." Carolyn agreed softly.  "But sometimes people don't want to admit to some things.  Maybe he's afraid of appearing ..." she paused, trying to think of how to explain to a nine year old about the  reputation, image and ego of someone as complex as Captain Gregg.
   But again Candy surprised her mother by nodding, "He wants to act hip and groovy, not like someone who writes sissy poetry."
   Carolyn laughed.  "You're probably right!"  She hugged the girl.  "I'm glad you know about him now."
   "Me too."
   "But you have to remember, he is our secret.  Yours, Jonathan's and mine.  And Claymore's.  But it might frighten Martha, so we have to keep it from her.  And certainly from everyone else!"
   "All right.  You can count on me, Mom."
   "I know.  How about some hot chocolate?"
   "Yeah!" Candy whooped and ran into the house.
   It wasn't until after the children were in bed that Carolyn had a chance to speak with the Captain.  In fact, there had been no sign of him since the episode with Candy.  After checking her room, the balcony, and the attic, Carolyn climbed the stairs to the widow's walk.  There she found him gazing out to sea, hands on the railing.  He didn't turn when he heard her approach, but he said, "Good evening, Mrs. Muir.  Another balmy evening tonight.  And the moon is still full."
   "Yes, it IS lovely, Captain." she moved up and stood beside him, her hands next to his on the rail.  "Thank you for showing yourself to Candy.  I think she was feeling ... left out."
   "You have a beautiful daughter, my dear.  When she grows up, she will be like her mother."  He looked at her as she tilted her face up to his.
   Carolyn's enchanting smile spread across her face.  "Thank you, kind sir!"
   As they studied each other's face, there was silence broken only by the sound of the surf.  At last, Carolyn broke eye contact as she looked out over the ocean and spoke softly.  "Thank you for the poem, Captain.  I ... I have been wanting to hear the words from you.  For a long time."  She swallowed, then turned back to him.  "It's maybe a female thing," she smiled rather shakily, "but I needed to hear it." 
   His eyes softened.  "I know, my darling.  I haven't said it, and MEANT it as much, to anyone before you.  But ..."
   "I know." Carolyn's voice was husky with emotion.  "I call it the ‘if onlys' when I allow myself to think about it.  The way you started off your poem.  So I try not to think, not often, because it hurts too much.  Remember when I was sick?"
   "How could I forget?  It was my Willowbark Golden Elixir that saved you!"
   Carolyn chuckled.  "Probably.  It also gave me an incredible dream."
   "A dream?" he sounded puzzled.
   "Yes.  We danced ..."
   His face lit up with sudden comprehension.  "THAT'S why you said you forgave me for switching the medication because I waltz so beautifully!"
   Nodding, Carolyn kept her eyes on his.  "I wondered at first if you had given me the dream ... but you seemed to know nothing about it.  We ..." she blushed slightly, but continued a trifle unsteadily in a whisper, "We almost kissed, but were interrupted ... then I woke up.  I wanted you to kiss me, so badly ... but..."
   Softly he repeated the last stanza of his poem.
       "Of all the things that cannot be,
        There's one alone means most to me.
        It's not the lure of distant shores,
        But that my lips cannot touch yours.
        My lips cannot touch yours."
   Their faces only inches apart, both remained immobile for long moments.  Both read, in the other's expression, the longing and desire for a touching of hands, a linking of arms, a kiss.  Both recognized the painful poignancy in the ‘if onlys' of their relationship.
   Finally Carolyn broke the silence.  "I suppose it only makes it worse to talk about it.  I'm a little sorry I forced this discussion."
   "I'm not." the stark words hung in the air.
   Turning back to the ocean, Carolyn murmured, "I guess it's like the tides.  Can't be stopped, always there, always pulling and tugging at the heartstrings..."
   "But the strength is there, too.  To withstand the forces of time, knowing that an eternity awaits ... just a lifetime away.  And in the meantime, the constancy of a love that pulses beneath the surface and colours all experiences."
   "You're right." she admitted.  "We have so much, don't we?  I guess I shouldn't whine about what we DON'T have..."
   "My dear, I've NEVER heard you whine...!"
   Carolyn gave a short laugh, and said, ruefully, "I could do it so easily right now!"  Her eyes sparkled as she looked at him.  "Captain, I ..."
   "Mom?  Captain?" Candy's voice interrupted the moment.  Both turned around, startled, to see Candy and Jonathan standing at the top of the stairs. 
   "What are you two doing out of bed?" Carolyn asked.  "Is something wrong?"
   "No.  But we couldn't get to sleep, and then we started talking.  About the Captain.  I just wanted to thank you, Captain, for letting me see you now." Candy said.  "Is it really all right with you that I can?  I just want to hear you SAY it's okay.  You were pretty mad when you left this afternoon."
   The Captain smiled, crouching down in front of the children.  "I wasn't angry, Candy.  I suppose, like ALL females, you need to hear the words."  He exchanged a smiling, meaningful look with Carolyn before continuing, "You are part of this family.  Of course you should see me!  I am honoured that you even WANT to."
   "She said she started believing me a while ago, Captain.  Girls!  Why do they need proof all the time?" Jonathan was slightly disgusted.
   Carolyn laughed aloud, and the Captain stood up, smiling broadly.  "I don't know WHY, but I agree that they do!" he said, twinkling eyes again on Carolyn.  "Now, as Captain of this ship, I expect my crew to obey, and be in bed when they are supposed to be in bed!"
   "Aye, aye, sir!" the children saluted smartly, then turned to go. 
   "I'll tuck you in.  Goodnight, Captain." Carolyn moved with the children, knowing their discussion was over for the night.  Nothing more could be said.
   "Good night, Madam.  Goodnight, Candy and Jonathan." He turned back to his contemplation of the sea while the others went downstairs.
   Over the next several days, Carolyn saw Jonathan and Candy talking a lot about the Captain.  Candy was trying to make up for a year of not knowing about him, and she had a great many questions.  They included Carolyn in some of the discussions.  Gradually the novelty wore off, and Candy went back to being interested in baseball and swimming, and other sports with her friends, accepting the Captain as part of her home life.  Jonathan, of course, remained as much a shadow of the Captain as time and the Captain himself permitted. 
   The next week, everyone was in the kitchen at noon, listening to the radio, to hear the results of the talent search.  To their delight, it was announced that the winner was Tim Seagirt.  He dedicated his song "to Carolyn", which caused the children to squeal with pleasure, and Martha to laugh.  Carolyn's eyes met the Captain's as he appeared across the room, and their eyes remained rivetted on each other while Tim sang "their" song.