Sequel to "VANESSA"                 Susan G.

   Carolyn waved off Martha and the children who were headed for Schooner Bay -- Martha to shop and Jonathan and Candy to school.  She quickly did up the breakfast dishes, then started upstairs to her room.
   "Captain?" she called, as she entered the room.  There was no answer.  For a moment, Carolyn looked around, then with a determined air, opened a dresser drawer and carefully took out the beautiful silk shawl that the Captain had presented to her the day before.  She smoothed the soft fabric, admiring the pattern and colours, then held it to her cheek.  Then she flung it around her shoulders, and looked at herself in the mirror, remembering the Captain's comment of two days before "You have a flair for that sort of thing." 
   Suddenly she pulled it off, folded it up with care and put it away again.  She MUST NOT keep thinking of the Captain this way!  But she couldn't help the tremor going through her at the remembrance of when he had put the shawl about her shoulders yesterday afternoon and told her that even though the past was a pleasant place to visit, he MUCH preferred the present for the long term arrangement.  Carolyn chewed her lower lip.  Vanessa's arrival had forced her to admit that she cared for the Captain more than she had thought possible.  She still couldn't believe the storm of jealousy that had washed over her time and again during the 24 hours of Vanessa's sojourn at Gull Cottage.
   Her first surprise had been reading the Captain's letters to his love a century ago.  She had had hints of a softer, sentimental side to Captain Gregg, and had guessed at the passions that boiled beneath his sometimes gruff, sometimes roguish exterior.  But to hear such eloquent words written to someone with whom the Captain had obviously been deeply in love had hurt Carolyn in a strange way.  She knew, of course, that he couldn't possibly have been celibate ... such rugged good looks and vibrant personality would have attracted women like moths to a flame.  He had even told her as much that first night!  And even though she kept telling herself she didn't CARE about his past, deep down a little voice kept protesting that the past was gone now, and SHE was here.  So why had she felt so forsaken?  Because the Captain had been so captivated by this contemporary Vanessa.  He hadn't been able to keep his eyes off of her.  Carolyn had been watching him closely, and the pain of jealousy had twisted inside.  Even though Carolyn's hair wasn't black, or her eyes dark (the poetic description of Vanessa in the letters!), she knew the Captain enjoyed her company.  He had told her so.  Yet he had never watched HER with such a tender expression in his face, or offered her so many privileges (such as complete freedom in the attic!) on such short acquaintance. 
   Carolyn swung around abruptly and moved to her desk.  This was getting ridiculous ... she shouldn't care so much about Vanessa.  EITHER Vanessa.  It really was none of her affair.  She wanted the Captain to respect her privacy, and she had agreed last night to respect his.  Carolyn also was indifferent to having the Captain show a romantic interest in herself ... wasn't she?  What kind of future could there be?  He was only a spirit, an illusion, as he had reminded her that first night!  No, she certainly didn't want, or need, a complication like THAT in her life!  But, oh, the sound of his voice when he put the shawl about her and told her it really belonged to HER, and the look in his eyes when she turned to look at him ... well, she had read many times that eyes could speak volumes, and his certainly had last night.  She was sure hers had, too.  For she had understood both by his writing of that bogus letter which had sent Vanessa away, AND by the gift of the shawl, that the Captain DID care for her immensely.  And she knew her acceptance of the gift and HER eyes had told him that she cared for him as well.  But it couldn't be.  No, she HAD to suppress these feelings that were becoming all too strong of late.  She HAD to!
   It was really too bad, she mused, turning to the telescope and putting a hand gently on it, that the Captain had been such a magnificent man while alive.  Just how magnificent had been brought home last week with that fiasco around putting up a statue in Schooner Bay to a supposed hero, Captain Figg.  Captain Gregg had been furious about it, asking how anyone could want to honour a coward, a poltroon, and a drunkard!  He said he had seen Figg in Schooner Bay many times AFTER the date he was supposedly lost at sea. 
   Carolyn chuckled inwardly, remembering the Captain's aside to her that Figg was ALWAYS lost at sea!  Then she grew serious, wondering if the Historical Society would, as Jonathan had hoped, decide to put up a statue of Captain Gregg.  They would, no doubt, ask her to do the article about it again.  Could she bear such a close examination of the Captain's history, knowing she could never share it, let along really understand it? 
   She stood on tiptoe to look through the telescope, trying to visualize what the Captain would see.  The waves crashing on the shore.  A couple of fishing dinghies out near the harbour on the right, the promontory and cliffs on the left.  If she really strained to get higher on her toes, she could drop the telescope and see a bit of the road going from Gull Cottage to Schooner Bay.  Sighing, she stepped back and, opening the French doors, she went out on to the balcony.  Moving to the ship's wheel, Carolyn put out a hand and caressed the smooth wood. 
   "Good morning, Madam!  Glorious day, isn't it?"  When the Captain's hearty voice came from behind, her only visible reaction to the surprise was a tightening of her fingers on the wheel.
   She turned to him with a smile.  "Good morning, Captain.  Yes, it IS a lovely day."
   "And have you something planned for today?"
   "No, not really.  I guess, as always, I should do some writing..."
   "We could go for a nice, companionable walk in the cemetery, if you like.  Unless, of course, you're afraid you might see a ghost."
   "Oh, Captain!"  Carolyn shook her head in mock exasperation.  "The walk last week through the cemetery will last me for a while.  And is it really necessary to taunt me like that?  You just caught me by surprise that night!"
   "Like today?"
   "I think you're beginning to know me too well."
   "Not as well as I would like to." he spoke meaningfully.
   Her fingers clenched on the wheel, but her voice was calm as she said, "What would you like to know?"
   Somewhat taken aback, the Captain nevertheless took a moment then asked a question that had been burning in his mind since he had met her.  "How long ago did your husband die?"
   Carolyn blinked, then looked away.  "Fourteen months ago.  A car accident.  He was badly injured when the car was sideswiped.  He lived for a week, but you couldn't really call it living." 
   "I'm sorry," the Captain spoke gently.  "If it's too painful..."
   "No, it actually helps me to talk about it.  Most people don't seem to understand that ... including me.  At first, he was so badly injured he wasn't expected to live through the night.  But he lingered on.  He couldn't stand or speak, and he didn't seem to know anyone.  Not his parents, or Candy and Jonathan, not even me."  Carolyn's voice was low, her eyes downcast.  "After ... after the funeral, I phoned an agency and told them I needed someone to help with housework and the children, because I had to go back to work.  That's when Martha came to us."
   "Someone should have seen to things for you!  Where were your parents?  Weren't there any other men around eager to step in and take over as head of the family?" the Captain growled.  He regretted the remark instantly, but it was too late to call it back.  He saw her body stiffen and her green eyes flash.
   "I am perfectly capable of looking after myself and my children!" she retorted sharply.  "You asked me about my husband's death, and I was telling you.  That's all you need to know!"
   Silence hung between them.  Then the Captain forced a laugh.  "You have a fine way of slapping a man's face without touching him, Mrs. Muir," he said.
   "If that's true, maybe I should do it more often!"
   Just then the phone rang.  Carolyn excused herself and went back in
the house to answer it.  It was the school calling to say that Jonathan was not feeling well, and was running a fever, and perhaps she could come and get him?
   Agreeing instantly, Carolyn caught up her purse, then realized with dismay that Martha had the car.
   "Oh, blast!" she muttered.
   The Captain materialized beside her.  "Anything I can do, Madam?"
   Carolyn sighed.  "I need the car... and Martha has it in Schooner Bay.  If I knew where to find her, I could phone and ask HER to pick up Jonathan..."
   "The lad is sick?"
   "I'm afraid so." she looked frustrated.
   "I'll find Martha for you... just a minute, Mrs. Muir." and he vanished.  Before only a few minutes passed, he was back, telling her that Martha was in hardware store.
   Carolyn phoned there, and managed to catch Martha, who was astounded that Carolyn had even thought to try there, as she had just walked in, remembering she had wanted some picture hangers for her room.  Martha agreed to pick up Jonathan and bring him home, after Carolyn had said he'd get home faster than if Martha came back to Gull Cottage first so that CAROLYN could drive in to the school.
   "Thank you, Captain." Carolyn spoke gratefully to the spirit standing so near.
   "I'm happy I could be of assistance, Mrs. Muir." he looked concerned.  "I do hope the lad will be all right."
   "I'm sure it's just a touch of the flu or something ... he was all right this morning.  Children often get like this, you know."
   "No, I don't know." the Captain replied, huskily.  "I've never had much to do with children."
   "Well, they do..." Carolyn paused, the question she was burning to ask on the tip of her tongue.  Finally she blurted, "Captain, you asked me a question, may I...?"
   "Yes, Madam?"
   "What happened between you and Vanessa?" she couldn't look at him, almost regretting it as soon as the words were out of her mouth.
   He chuckled, and her eyes flew to his face.  "So you admit to curiosity about me, do you?"
   Shrugging as nonchalantly as she could, Carolyn said, "Well ... maybe more about Vanessa..."
   "Perhaps she was just one of the many who tried to tie me to their apron strings and set me by the fire like a pet poodle!"
   "I don't think so." Carolyn shook her head.  "You wouldn't have kept her things for so long..."
   "Quite right."  There was a pause, then the Captain said grudgingly, "She died.  A very long time ago."
   "Yes, I'm aware of THAT." Carolyn said softly, but insistently.
   "Oh, very well, Madam!  If you must know, her parents forced her to marry someone else because they stood to lose a great deal of money if she refused.  She eventually died in childbirth." he turned away abruptly.
   Carolyn stood in silent sympathy, pain for the Captain clogging her throat.  She stretched out a hand to him, then realized what she was doing, and let it fall to her side.  Then she heard the car returning, and said gently, "I'm sorry, Captain.  Perhaps, like me, you need to talk about it for the pain to go away."  Then she left the room.
   Jonathan was running a bit of a temperature, his face was flushed and he was querulous when Carolyn asked him if he wanted anything to eat.  The two women looked at each other and shrugged, then Carolyn urged the boy upstairs to bed.  "Maybe you'll feel better after a sleep."
   "Aw, Mom!" he complained.  "Bed in the middle of the day?"
   "What's this, mate?  Not obeying your commanding officer?" the Captain appeared, his voice firm.
   Jonathan rolled his eyes and turned and trudged up the stairs.          "I'll bring you some soup in a little while." Martha said, hurrying to the kitchen to start it.
   "Thanks, Martha."  Carolyn went up with her son and got him tucked in and gave him an aspirin.  His eyes were already drooping by the time Martha appeared again.  He ate a bit, then slid down on the pillows and drifted off.
   "Are you going to call the doctor, Mrs. Muir?" Martha whispered as they left the room.
   "No, I'll wait to see how he is when he wakes up.  He didn't appear too bad now.  Probably mostly worry over possibly leaving the house was what upset him."
   Sure enough, Jonathan was feeling much better when he awakened in a couple of hours.  When Candy came home from school, he demanded to be allowed out of bed again to play monopoly with her for a while.  Carolyn compromised by allowing him to get up as long as they played on the table in their bedroom.  He ate a hearty supper, and went to bed at the normal time with no protest.
   After she had kissed the children good night, Carolyn went to her room.  She sat down on the chair and picked up her book, but found it hard to concentrate.  Instead, she leaned back, thinking about the Captain's story of his lost love.  A yawn caught her by surprise, and she realized that SHE hadn't had a lot of sleep for the last couple of nights either.  Jealousy was obviously not conducive to sleep! 
   As her eyelids began to droop, she imagined herself moving up the stairs to the attic, floating through the doorway to find the Captain.  She felt his hands touching her hair, her face, his arms drawing her to him, holding her ever so gently, until, at aching last, his beautiful, sensual mouth claimed hers in a kiss that was wild and passionate...
   A sudden quiver shot through Carolyn's body, jarring her fully awake.  She had been dozing, she realized as she noted the duskiness outside.  Her mind had drifted into a forbidden dream, a dream so scandalous that the memory of it triggered a flush of heat across her face.  She was exhausted, she realized, as she wrenched herself back to reality.  What she needed was a few hours of sleep.  Real sleep.  In her bed. 
  First, she stepped up to the French doors, and looked out, seeing the Captain standing by the ship's wheel with his telescope.  She paused for a moment, then stepped out.  The Captain turned when he heard her.  "Yes, Madam?  Do you wish to speak with me?" his voice was cool and his manner distant.
   She stopped an arm's length away from him.  "I was watching you, that was all." she said.  Then her hand crumpled into a small, indignant fist.  "Oh, blast it, don't look at me like that!  I've done nothing at all to deserve that scowl of yours!"  She hoped he had no way of knowing what she had just been dreaming.  Oh, surely not!
   The Captain sighed.  "Forgive me, Mrs. Muir.  It's late..."
   "I realize that.  I just wanted to say ... about Vanessa ..."
   "Madam, I really do not wish to discuss it.  But to lay your mind at ease, I had a choice to make yesterday ... and I made it.  Believe me, my dear, there is no need, ever, to say or even THINK anything about Vanessa again."  His blue eyes seemed deep enough to drown in as he fixed them on her face.
   Carolyn couldn't hold his gaze ... she dropped her eyes.  "Thank you, Captain."  With that, she turned and went back into the house, leaving him to his memories on the balcony.