Sequel to "Dog Gone!"   

"Mom?" Jonathan looked up at Carolyn as she went to tuck him in bed.  Scruffy was curled up close to his side on the bed, looking a trifle guilty as if he knew his bed was in the basket by the door, but hopeful that just this once, he could be beside his buddy.

"Yes, Jonathan?" Carolyn saw the happiness radiating out of her small son, and was so glad Scruffy had been found by the Captain and returned.  Jonathan had been moping about disconsolately for the last couple of days, as had the whole
household.  But it seemed that for Jonathan, and Carolyn too, if she were to admit it, the worst pain had been as much a question of loss of trust in the Captain as the loss of their family pet.

"Can we talk for a minute ... a man-to-woman talk ... about Scruffy ... and love?"  His face serious, Carolyn couldn't bring herself to smile.  Candy was having her bath, so they wouldn't be interrupted for a few minutes, at least.    "All right." Carolyn sat down on Jonathan's bed, and buried her fingers in Scruffy's fur.

"Mom, you know when the Captain was talking to me on the step?"
  
"Yes." Again, Carolyn smothered her smile at the remembrance of the Captain's wry expression when she had caught him.  He had seemed uncharacteristically ill at ease while trying to explain the facts of life to Jonathan ... and at the end looked as if he had just survived a tremendous ordeal!
  
"I already knew a lot of the stuff he was trying to tell me, Mom." Jonathan looked a little guilty.  "But I didn't want to hurt his feelings, so I was trying to listen.  I just didn't understand about the fighting.  I still don't, not really.  How can you be in love when you're always fighting?"
  
Carolyn chewed her lip for a moment, wondering if Jonathan could possibly be referring to her and the Captain, or if he WAS just speaking of Sheila and Scruffy!  She took a deep breath.  "Well, Jonathan, it's like the Captain said.  Sometimes when you feel really strongly about someone or something, it almost scares you.  You have to put on a show, pretend it doesn't frighten you.  So you end up quarreling with the other.  That way, maybe no one will notice how you REALLY feel.  Maybe Scruffy felt that because Sheila was so much bigger than him, she wouldn't be interested, and that hurt him.  So he started bugging her, barking at her ... just to get her to pay attention to him."  Again, she found her thoughts drawn to the Captain and herself.  The analogies seemed obvious. Especially after Dr. McNally's visit last week, Carolyn had grown more and more aware of how much she had hurt the Captain by her words and actions lately. Scruffy's disappearance had brought everything sharply to the forefront again.
  
"So it's like when we put worms in a girl's desk at school ... it shows we want to marry her?"
  
Carolyn grimaced.  "Ew.  But yes, I suppose so.  Better, Jonathan?"
  
"I guess so."  He was quiet for a moment.  "But I still think it's dumb." he added.
  
Laughing, Carolyn hugged him close.  "I guess it really IS, when you think about it!  You'll maybe understand a little more later on."  Maybe, she finished silently to herself.  She wasn't sure she did yet!  Had all the bickering and quarreling been a coverup for so much more between the Captain and herself?  Not sure she wanted to go in the direction her thoughts were taking her, she was glad Candy came bouncing into the room.
  
"Mom?  Aren't you glad Scruffy's back?" Candy play-wrestled with Scruffy on the bed for an instant.
  
"Yes, Candy, I certainly am!"
  
"Good thing Captain Gregg found her for me.  HE knew it was because it was Sheila's mating season that Scruffy had to go find her." beamed Jonathan.
  
"There is no such thing as ghosts!" Candy said automatically.  "Besides, Scruffy and Sheila were always fighting!  That doesn't make sense."
  
Jonathan shared a glance with his mother, then laughed.  "It will when you get older!"
  
Candy rolled her eyes and flopped on her bed.  "Little brothers!"
  
"Well, Candy, it's sort of like you and Jonathan.  You're always bickering, but deep down you really love each other.  If one is in trouble, the other is right there to help." Carolyn spoke quietly.
  
After digesting that thought for a moment, Candy announced, "I guess you're right."
  
"Now, how about some sleep?" Carolyn suggested.  "It's late, and there's school tomorrow."
  
She bent over to kiss Jonathan.  He wrapped his arms around her neck, then whispered, "Mom, I wasn't very nice to the Captain.  He tried to tell me he understood how I felt with Scruffy missing, and I told him ghosts don't have feelings.   Can you apologize to him for me?  I feel really bad now, Mom."

"I'm sure he understands, Jonathan." Carolyn's voice was soft.  "But I'll tell him again ... and you can too, yourself.  Tomorrow."
  
"Thanks, Mom."  With a sleepy grin, Jonathan petted Scruffy hard, then gave hima little push off the bed.  "You're too heavy, Scruffy.  You'll have to go to your own bed for tonight.  But I'm glad you're back to BE in your own bed!"
  
Carolyn hugged and kissed Candy goodnight, then stooped to pet Scruffy herself before turning out the light.  "Good night."
  
Closing the door behind herself, she went downstairs to report to Martha that the children were in bed.
  
"Want some tea?" Martha offered.  "There's a potful keeping warm on the stove.  I just made it."
  
"Thanks."

She poured herself a cup of tea, and sat at the table, watching Martha mixing some flour and sugar and eggs.  "What are you making NOW, Martha?  Isn't it too late to start baking?"

Martha shrugged.  "Just feel like doing something.  Thought I'd make a cake.  No chance that Dr. McNally will be coming back?  I've still got the creamed kippers in the freezer for him ..."

"No, I doubt he'll be back.  He said I was ‘dismissed' as a patient." Carolyn took a sip of tea.

"Then maybe he can see you PERSONALLY?" Martha questioned.  "If you're not a patient, it wouldn't be breaking any professional rules or anything ..."
  
"Trying to play matchmaker, Martha?" Carolyn grinned.
  
Just then, the phone rang.
  
"I'll get it, Martha." Carolyn went out to the hall and picked up the phone. "Hello?"
  
"Hello, Mrs. Muir?  It's Ryan McNally."
  
Carolyn almost choked.  "H-hello."
  
"I just thought I'd check in on you ... make sure you're all right.  I made an awful fool of myself at your place.  I'm still cringing.  I am on my way back to Philadelphia ... the fishing trip was good.  You haven't been seeing any ghosts lately, have you?  Remember, I said you should probably consult Danny about that. HAVE you talked with Danny?"
  
"Well, yes, actually, I have.  But not about me seeing ghosts." Carolyn bit her lip, but the smile was creeping over her face anyway.
  
"He's the one to talk to, should you start thinking you see the Captain again! Remember, you're not alone, Carolyn.  Mrs. Muir.  I'd like to say you have me to call, but Danny's a lot closer, and seems to have a lot more going for him as far are you're concerned!  Look me up next time you're in Philadelphia, why don't you?  Not on a professional basis, of course ..."
  
"Of course." Carolyn murmured.  "Well, we'll see, Dr. McNally.  Thank you for calling."
  
"Goodbye, Mrs. Muir." he hung up.
  
Carolyn slowly replaced the receiver, shaking her head.  She went back to the kitchen.  "Well, Martha, guess who that was?"
  
"Who?"
  
"The good doctor himself."
  
"What?" Martha looked amazed.  Then she laughed.  "I was right, he WAS interested in you!"
  
"Oh, Martha!  He was just checking on his way back from his fishing trip!  Actually, he told me specifically NOT to call him if I thought I had a problem ... he said he was still cringing from making a fool of himself while he was here!"
  
"Well, sitting on a burning log DOES make one wonder about the man's brains ..." Martha agreed, and they both giggled.
  
Before going to bed, Carolyn checked in on the children, and made sure they were covered.  She gave Scruffy another pat as she went out the door.  Smothering a yawn, she started down the hall to her room.  Just before reaching the door, the Captain appeared before her.
  
"Madam, I trust all is well in the nursery?"
  
She smiled at his use of the word.  "Yes, thanks mainly to YOU, Captain.  It really was good of you to find Scruffy, considering all WE put you through."
  
"You?" he acted obtuse, wanting to hear the words she meant, not just understand them.
  
"Yes, Captain.  Both Jonathan and I, but mostly me." for a moment, she looked down, gathering her courage.  Then she looked up again at him, taking a deep breath.
  
"I know we hurt you..." she began.
  
"Hurt?  Madam, how could you possibly HURT me?  Ghosts don't have feelings, as I found out the other day."
  
"Jonathan is very, VERY sorry about saying that, Captain." Carolyn said.  "He told me so tonight.  Told me to apologize to you for him until he could do it himself tomorrow.  He was distraught... he's so young..."
  
"Young or not, it's no excuse for inaccuracies!" the Captain barked so suddenly that Carolyn jumped.  The Captain appeared to grow bigger and more menacing in the hallway, his stern face set in fierce lines.  He towered over Carolyn, and for a moment her mouth went dry.
  
Then she took heart.  He wouldn't dream of hurting her.  They had just had this discussion a couple of days ago.  He must be testing her ... as indeed she deserved after all she had put him through since going to see the psychiatrist two weeks ago!
  
She opened the door to her room.  "Please, Captain, come in.  Let's sit down for a minute.  I need to talk with you."
  
"Is there something we need to discuss?" he sounded nonchalant yet mildly interested.
  
Casting an eloquent look at him out of her green eyes, Carolyn merely beckoned him in.  Looking somewhat bemused, he obediently seated himself on one chair by the fireplace.  She sat down opposite him, twisting her fingers together a trifle nervously.  Now that she had a "captive" audience, so to speak, what exactly should she say?  How should she start?  Near the beginning was probably best.
  
"Captain, I wanted to apologize for everything I've said and thought the last couple of weeks."  She glanced quickly at him, then away again.  "I should never have gone to the psychiatrist.  I knew I wasn't crazy.  I KNEW you were here.  I guess I was frightened a bit when Dr. Jim heard me talking with you and told me I should see someone.  I tried to think logically and practically ... I didn't think normal people saw ghosts!"  She still couldn't tell him the REAL reason -- that she was terrified because of her strong feelings for him.  "Dr. McNally sounded quite convincing when I was talking with him, and it made sense that if I had CREATED you, I should UNCREATE you."
  
"But you didn't create me, Madam." the Captain said, gently.
  
"I'm well aware of that ... now." Carolyn smiled.  "I knew it then, too, but wasn't ready to accept it.  I think it was building when I first came home and was talking with you here, and I could hardly get the words out when I was trying to tell Jonathan that he had to keep telling himself you were only a figment of our imagination.  But it was at the gate that night that I knew.  Oh, I knew.  You ARE real."
  
"Well, as real as a spirit can be." he acknowledged, grudgingly.
  
It was in that instant, in the fog by the gate, that Carolyn had finally realized and accepted for herself that she had fallen in love with the spirit of Captain Gregg.  Not just the attraction she had felt when first viewing his portrait, not a superficial liking, but a deep, abiding love that would last through all eternity.  She had loved her husband, but that had been different.  He hadn't touched the depths of her being ... perhaps because she hadn't even been aware of them herself until now.  They had been happy enough together.  But it was nothing like her life would have been like had she been married to the Captain! 

Actually, it was nothing even like her life now, sharing so much with the Captain, even if they couldn't express their love physically!  She knew now, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that Captain Gregg was not a figment of her imagination.  He
was not an image she had created simpl y because she was a lonely writer.  And when it came down to it, the ‘illusion' part didn't matter.  She loved him far more than any mortal man, and always would.
  
Carolyn continued her ‘confession'.  "Then, after denying you in your own home, as you said, I finally came to my senses, and we had two days before I failed you again.  You had done so much blustering and complaining about Scruffy, that the moment he went missing, I couldn't help but think you might have had something to do with it.  I tried to talk myself out of it, but, well, I'm a weak woman!" she gestured helplessly, smiling lopsidedly.  "No excuse, I know.  I'm just trying to explain.  I drove you to ask me if I really believed that you would ever do anything to hurt us in any way.  I couldn't believe the pain I heard in your voice.  It echoed in my heart, Captain.  I KNOW you care for all of us, very much, and I want you to know, to HEAR, that I ... WE care for you too."
  
"What are you trying to say?" his deep voice resounded in velvety tones, and Carolyn couldn't help the feelings washing over her.  She looked at him, her heart in her eyes.
  
"Captain, I ..." she swallowed.  She WANTED to declare her love, but she couldn't.  She STILL couldn't.  She wanted to say she knew he loved her, and her   family.  But she couldn't say that either.  "I'm just trying to apologize to you for everything, and to beg your forgiveness, and to ask if we can start over again." she finished in a rush.
  
For a long moment, he didn't reply.  She felt her nerves stretching almost to a breaking point, but she refused to look away from his gaze.
  
"You told Jonathan that when you feel strongly about something, it can scare you so that you put on an aggressive show to pretend all is well." the Captain spoke significantly, eyes never leaving hers.
  
"It's the same thing you told him."
  
"Yes."
  
Again their eyes spoke volumes to each other.  At last, as if satisfied by their exchange, Carolyn's captivating smile spread over her face as she relaxed.  The Captain returned her smile.
  
Then Carolyn couldn't resist teasing him just a little.  "Tell me, Captain, what are you thinking?"
  
Captain Gregg knew instantly that she was referring to his comment at the telescope when he had said he remembered what went through a man's mind when a beautiful woman smiled at him.  His grin broadened, and he winked roguishly.
  
"Nothing I could tell a LADY, believe me, Madam!"
  
And both laughed, helping to ease away the tension between them and restore their wonderful, unusual relationship to its best.