145 ways to be annoying

Hey everybody. Welcome to my incredibly loser-like page. If you have chronic-boredom syndrome, or CBS in the real world, you might take an interest in this page. Everyone knows that anything I create is bound to be electrifying in a boring way. No one knows, however, how that is possible.

Anyway! Welcome!

This picture was turned in to authorities after the accident. Overpayed scientists finally concluded after hours of examining, the picture is a fake. "The earrings were plastic! That's how we determined the authenticity claim." One stated.

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Annoying in General

Annoying at School

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This page was last updated at

10:02 PM Eastern, April 19, 1999

(I live in Central, though)

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Lil' bugger to visit this page since
10-8-97

Quotes

"I don't marry 13-year-olds."
--Scott Wolf, responding to the question if he'd ever find a future wife among his fans.

"People think I'm a good little girl, but I can be, like, Grr!"
--Claire Danes on being asked why she took the offer for Mod Squad.

"Gimme something to pummel."
--Buffy the Vampire Slayer

"She's the only person who will go to the best exotic food restaurants in the world and ask for a hamburger."
--Anonymous

"Y'know, if I had a life, I wouldn't be here!!"
--Description of AOL chatrooms

"God creates dinosaur, God kills dinosaur, God creates man, man creates dinosaur, dinosaur kills man..."

"Woman inherits the Earth."
--From the movie Jurassic Park.

Sadly, Slippy the Frog never got anywhere.

Annoying in general

1. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all people are green, and insist that you "like it that way".

2. Drum on every available surface.

3. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

4. Produce a rental video consisting of dire FBI copy warnings.

5. Hide dairy products in unaccessable places.

6. Specify your drive through order is "to go".

7. Set alarms for random times.

8. Publicly investigate just how loud you can make a clucking sound.

9. Honk and wave to strangers.

10. Change channels five minutes before the very end of your show, but only when friends are around. ; )

11. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climatic parts of rental movies.

12. Decline to be seated at a restaurant and eat all of their complementary mints.

13. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

14. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

15. Repeat everything someone says, only as a question.

16. Write "X - Buried treasure" on all of someone's roadmaps.

17. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times:
"Did you hear that?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."

18. Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

19. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

20. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, while they read.

21. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

22. Pretend your mouse is a CB radio and talk to it.

23. Ask people what gender they are. (My favorite.)

24. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think!"

25. Follow a few paces behind someone, just close enough so they notice you, and spray disinfectant on everything they touch.

26. While making presentations, bob your head like a parakeet a lot.

27. Lie obviously about trivial questions. For instance:
"What time is it?"
"Two AM."
When it's really five thirty.

28. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

29. Leave your Christmas lights up and running until September.

30. Sit right by the road pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

31. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing".

32. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy".

33. Ask the waiter/waitress for an extra seat for your imaginary friend.

34. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. When they ask, mutter something about "psychological profiles".

35. Stare at the static in a TV and claim you see the "magic picture".

36. Don't add any inflection at the end of your sentence, producing an awkward silence that makes the other person think you'll be saying more any moment.

37. Never break eye contact when you're speaking to someone, and try to keep your eyes as big as dinner plates without laughing.

38. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

39. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

40. When at a stop light, look suspicious at the person in the car beside you, and lock your door.

41. Then, when the light is green, don't go until you've counted to ten, and then give a jackrabbit start.

42. In a card game, go to extreme measures to look at your opponent's cards.

43. During a movie, stand up during climatic scenes. Holler if want to get in trouble and out of the theater.

44. During the previews, be loud.

45. Set your friend's boom box as loud as it can go, and either put it on heavy metal or static.

46. When someone else is watching their favorite movie or TV show, walk very slowly in front of the TV. When they ask you to get out of the way, stop and say "What are you looking at? What?"

47. Sing "It's a small world" over and over and over until even you can't stand it, or physically restrained.

48. Talk about anything and everything until your mouth is tired.

49. Follow your target everywhere you can, and pester them.

50. Shine flashlights in everyone's eyes until they take the flashlight from you.

51. When your friend is taping their favorite show, take the tape, and tape over the most boring news you can find.

52. Wait tell your target is asleep, and go out, and make the most noise as possible. When they ask, say "What?"

53. Hide all your friend's favorite CD's.

54. Try to call someone when your target is on the phone.

55. Sing a song that will stick into your friend's mind for the rest of the day.

56. See the same movie over and over, memorize the lines. Then, make fun of the movie and laugh really loud.

57. Memorize all the lines and shout with the actors.

58. Have your most totally screwed CD's on 24 hours a day.

59. Instead of using Scotch tape at work or school, use duct tape. Say "scotch tape might make me drunk, and I wouldn't want to get in trouble, would I?"

60. Develop a sudden fear of a common object, such as scissors.

61. Act like you're dying anytime someone says "car" or another common word.

62. Act like Superman, jump all over the place with a red table cloth on, and get a stupid narrator's voice.

63. Play the same song over and over and over.

64. At sleepovers, act like you're having nightmares involving a chocolate cake chasing you.

65. If you have a cellular or a second line, call your main number. When they pick up, say "oh, just checking."

66. When someone calls you, say this. "Hello, this is _______ (your name). I would like to order a cheese pizza with anchovies. Be here in 15 minutes." Hang up.

67. Watch the same movie over and over.

68. If you make someone else's sandwich, make it as sloppy as possible. Dry with one dinky slice of meat.

69. Same thing with regular meals.

70. Run in circles chasing your butt.

71. Make loud, obnoxious farting noises and then claim that what's-his-name did it.

72. Every time someone asks a question, say "Sorry, I'm not at liberty to divulge that information."

73. When you say you're getting a video, get the worst one you can find.

74. Pick out a common word of your choice, and whenever someone says it, cover your ears, stomp on the ground, yell, and finally and furiously lick yourself like a cat.

75. Get the worst smelling food ingredient you can find (Preferably liquid) and put it under your friend's bed, or in the ventilating system in their room.

76. Pretend you are an evil poptart bent on destroying all innocent breakfast cereals.
(Submitted by Zorak4Ever)

77. When someone tailgates you, wait until the road narrows to one lane
and then slow down to 10 mph. (Not recommended in L.A.)
(Submitted by ShadowKat of X-Wars)

78. Pretend that anytime you blink your eyes in rapid succession, anyone is under your complete control.

79. In the supermarket, take pictures of the food. (Submitted by Spike)

80. When and where there are samples, get 'em all. Take no prisoners. (Also submitted by Spike)

81. Wear a tie with bells attached. (Submitted by Ninj)

82. Wear a cape that says "magnificent one". (Submitted by Ninj, also)

83. Select the same song on the jukebox 14 times. (The last one submitted by Ninj)

84. Worship Mondays in public.

85. Fake that you know magic. Establish a public show, and screw up on every trick you try to do.

86. Stand up and yell "I'm Batman!" (Or Superman, Commando, etc.). Do this randomly throughout the day when people talk to you.

87. Make irrelevant statements about your car's mechanical problems.

88. Walk up to someone, look them in the eyes, open your mouth as to speak, then walk away.

89. Leave sticky notes on other people's work spaces that say, "I'm not sure about that, you'll have to get back to me on that one."

90. Wave really big and be smiley at people you don't know.

91. When someone is riding in the car with you, change the stations on the radio rapidly.

92. Change the subject rapidly in long conversations.

93. If someone tells you to shut up, claim you have an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and must continue speaking.

94. Try to speak in an English accent.

95. Tell everyone you're wearing your lucky Rocket ship boxers.

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"Heh! Heh! One brain cell, two brain cell, three brain cell...!"

Annoying at School

Note: This could get you in some trouble, proceed with caution... And if anything happens, it's all automatically my sister's fault.

1. Bob your head like a parakeet during class, and when the teacher asks why, just say "It's a really bad habit."

2. Look a person in the eye when they look at you.

3. Shake your head and say "Ugh" every time you look at someone.

4. Sharpen your pencil over and over.

5. Keep your eyes as big as dinner plates and look the teacher in the eye when they look at you.

6. Ask stupid questions over and over.

7. When someone asks you something, say "NO" after every word they say.

8. Send lots of notes to your friends.

9. Become obsessed with the teacher and constantly send flowers, apples, notes that say "You're the best teacher EVER", etc...

10. Same with other students.

11. Leave gum on the floor by some other gum-chewer and get them in trouble.

12. Become obsessed with some object, such as an eraser. Kiss it and treat it as if it were a god.

13. Develop a sudden accent for Russian in any language class, except for Russian.

14. Use Xander Harris's phrase on an English teacher. "Reading makes our speaking English more better!"

15. Debate with the teacher about common facts.

16. Same with other students.

17. Be a pen pusher; click your pen repeatedly. If the teacher takes it away, get another one.

18. Repeatedly raise your hand after a question is asked, and keep on responding:
"Ummm.. Uhhh... I knew it a minute ago!"

19. During each hour, ask over 3 times to go to the restroom.

20. During lunch, bring up the topic of dissecting something in Science.

21. Here's a one mostly only high-schoolers can do. Ask the English teacher when the Science project is due, and vice versa, along with other classes.

22. When class is dismissed, or etc, remain in your seat as if nothing was happening.

23. If you still ride the big yellow boat with wheels, known today as a bus, sit back as far as you can, and take your time getting off. (Y'know, I still have nightmares about my days riding the bus... *shudder*)

24. Start a petition at school stating that Mondays, or whatever day, should be a no school day. Do this one repeatedly for maximum results.

25. Entice your english and/or literature teacher to have celebrations on the days of author's births, particularly of the classics.

26. Obviously follow your target through halls, making sure they know you're there. Listen to their conversations, and act secretive.

27. Make a little collection of lost pencils on your desk. (i.e., those little pencils that are always on the floor after class, claim them as your own.)

28. State that football is a sport for weenies, and golf is 'manly'.

29. Side with the teacher about getting rid of all of those Cyber pets. (This is a slight extension of #9)

30. If you ever get a grade below what you want, demand that you did better than the grade you got, and then demand to get an A+.

31. Scheme of ways to overthrow student council.

32. Take polls around school; i.e., Who should be the President of the USA,  Tom Cruise or Emmit Smith?

33. Go to the local guy at the news that does that Public Action, where they reveal scams and such on TV, and report your Principal. Be creative for what.

34. Ask your teacher if they like being a teacher. If they say yes, then goes "Which part of it do you like better? The pay, or getting away from us?"

35. When at a game, cheer for the other side. (Careful, this one you might get beat up for.)

36. Tell your teacher you will be staying behind to do something in class. State that you need their help, and then go home as planned.

37. Make heavy breathing noises and cough while the teacher is giving directions.

38. Tell the other students that the teacher's birthday is in a week and tell them not to tell the teacher. Plan a big surprise party, and bring a camera. Trust me, you'll want to remember their face when they walk in that door!

39. At lunch, take a nibble of food first. Then say, "Hey, this tastes like my dog's food!" And eat some more of it, hungrily.

40. Leave little mysterious notes in other student's lockers that say "I'll always be watching you..." Send these to several people.

41. When the instructor calls on you, refer to yourself in third person.

42. On your papers, write your name as "________ the Great", or "________ the Super-Fly Cutthroat".

43. Walk up to someone and say, "Haha! I left a surprise for you in your locker!", and, in actuality you did nothing.

44. Tell someone it's snowing, and the person will automatically look out the window or towards one. Do this to a lot of people.

45. Defy everything the teacher says about something. Try to make arguments out of nothing.

46. Keep on breaking the tip of your pencil and ask to go sharpen it each time.

47. Accuse the teacher of shoving work onto your desk just to surf the 'net.

48. Deny anyone the chance of borrowing anything. Then immediately, give a sheet of paper or something to someone else.

49. Develop a lame laugh for the tough times when the teachers try to make jokes.

50. Anytime someone asks you to do something, put your head on your desk and clearly say "I'm incapable of performing that task momentarily. Please try again later, when I'm not here."

Advertisers chopped this ploy at a "Got Milk?" ad.

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People were curious where Keanu Reeves's career was for the past 5 years.

"Maybe it was Speed."

"Maybe he was on Speed and couldn't hang loose of his addiction."

However, his agent claimed...

"The Matrix grabbed Keanu's career and swallowed it whole! Keanu followed it in to get it back."