A CONSTITUTION FOR

The Scandalous Bohemians

BASED ON (PLAGIARIZED FROM) THAT OF THE BAKER STREET IRREGULARS

Article I

The name of the society shall be The Scandalous Bohemians.

Article II

Its purpose shall be gathering together under the excuse of studying the Sacred Writings.

Article III

All persons shall be eligible for membership, especially those who demonstrate a Scandalously minimal knowledge of the Sacred Writings and are judged to have a distressingly Bohemian attitude.

Article IV

The officers shall be a Cabinet Minister, a drunken-looking groom, a Nonconformist clergyman, and a Watson. None have any duties [this is a Bohemian Society, after all], but the Cabinet Minister shall guard the Sacred Photograph and shall act as President if one is required. The drunken-looking groom shall be available in case any witnessing be needed, and be ready to perform errands -- in short, be a Secretary. The Nonconformist clergyman shall be responsible for passing the hat and settling the bills (and so is the Treasurer). The sole duty* of the Watson shall be to initiate the meetings.

By-Ways

1. An annual meeting shall be held at seven P.M. on the twenty-first of March. When all have gathered, the meeting shall be brought to disorder by the Watson throwing in a rocket and shouting "Fire!"
2. After it has been determined that there is no fire, the officers, rising in turn, shall propose the canonical toasts.
3. The member who has traveled the furthest to attend the meeting shall then offer a toast to the Unknown Patient whose illness was the cause of Dr. Watson's visiting Holmes, and thus being able to report our tutelary adventure.
4. General conversation shall ensue.
5. The meeting shall be disbanded by all who are still able saying "Good night, Mister Sherlock Holmes."

The Canonical Toasts

First to the Woman, then to the Master, then to the Doctor, and finally to Mrs. Turner (whomever she may be).

*Valid Sherlockian Documents must have at least one Watsonian inconsistency. This is it.