BY: PHIL PRESTON

INDIAN TIME - VOLUME 22 - NUMBER 4 - JANUARY 29, 2004 EDITION

How long does it take to kick an undesirable habit? Tradition would say that this can be done in ten days. This time-tested notion comes from our knowledge of wakes, funerals, and grieving.

When someone dies in our community, we are told that we should put all work aside for ten days and just tend to the deceased and grieve our loss. Also, if your Clan is Bear, then the Turtles and Wolves would handle the tasks of cooking, etc. and vice versa if you are a Turtle or Wolf. After the ten days have passed we should be able to get back to work and our usual daily lives. There are many parts to the ten-day tradition of dealing with a deceased relative or friend. For example, giving away the deceased's personal belongings and photographs helps us to let go.

Our elders say that the same format can be used for kicking a bad habit. We should just stop doing it "cold turkey." By the time ten days have passed we would have certainly gone through a lot of weaning torment from letting go of that cigarette, alcohol, gum chewing, or whatever it is we want to stop doing. During this time we can lean on friends for the support we need, especially friends that have successfully kicked their own habit.

This does not mean that the desire, or compulsion will be gone. It only prepared us for finding a way to replace that behavior with one that is more positive. This positive replacement behavior is one of the most important success tactics, so the emptiness will be filled. We also need to grieve the old habit. Even a habit we might think is minor can give us serious emotional hardship from removing it. By the time a year has passed we can look at the old habit again and celebrate our success.