The Pointy Song

Instructions for Proper Pointing

1) First select an object to point with.

Here Julian demonstrates the classic Pen Point. A good choice of pointer for the beginner.

(However, be warned, even pens can be very dangerous)

Being a renowned veteran amongst the pointy elite, Julian re-enacts his world famous 'Chase the Cheese' point, which earned him the distinguished rank of GrandPointer during the 1999 Pointy Championships in Bognor Regis.

(Disclaimer. The Ministry of Fun accepts no responsibility for any damage or injury sustained from attempts to emulate the very dangerous 'Chase the Cheese' point)

2) Select an object to point at.

A simple pen at bear point. (Remember, bears can be very dangerous).

Julian demonstrates his pointing prowess by pointing Chase the Cheese at a pen (a former pointer now a pointee). It's this kind of post-modernist ironic pointing the earned Julian the honourable title of Ponti Sensei at the 1999 World Pointing Championships in Osaka, Japan.

(Warning. Only professional pointers should attempt an At/With reversal. Transforming the point polarity can be very dangerous)

Here James points a stapler at the 1998 Wisden Cricketers' Almanac.

(Children should note that staple guns can be very dangerous).

3) You have to bend your jointy.

Good pointing requires suppleness, flexibility and balance.

It's a good idea to warm up with a few pre-pointy bendy jointies. Here Jason limbers up by bending his elbow, whilst James adopts the more maverick knee bend stance.

(A word of caution. Excessive bending can be very dangerous).