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They say everyone has an Aunt Mary.
Well mine was the greatest!
Here are some snippets of wisdom
from my great aunt,
Mary Reilly O'Keefe
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The three things everyone should learn:
How to swim
How to type, and
How to drive a car
Entertaining Advice
Ham is always good for a crowd.
Travel Advice
Put your money in your girdle to keep it safe.
Being the matriarch of our clan,
Mary was a wonderful hostess.
She always made sure your drink was filled.
As she took care of you, she would recite the following litany.
(Apologies to AA members who might find it offensive.)
An Irish Drinking Litany
INTRO: I'll make you the first drink,
after that you're on your own
1st. First one today.
2nd. Can't fly on one wing.
3rd. I'm getting tight kids.
4th. I like my drinks before dinner.
5th. Well... I'm not making dinner anyway.
OUTRO: It's always hotter after
the sun goes down.
. . .