Simple Things Make Me Smile |
At work the other night I was sat on the "Station Pub" rank having just woken up
following a swift thirty minute "Power Nap" that appears to be the norm once one
reaches the front of the queue despite it being the height of the season. Anyway.
having risen from my comatose state I happened to glance at the plethora of
warning notices on "Booze Busters" window from the licensing department of Blackpool.
Borough Council that adorn most licensed premises these days when a warning
notice caught my eye that almost made me drop the cigarette I was illegally
smoking in my taxi at the time. There blazoned across the window for all to
see was the proud message "Challenge 30". Now, we don't want to appear unsupportive
of initiatives to rid the world of drunken idiots by trying to stop kids from
purchasing alcohol illegally but we do feel that asking anyone who appears
under 30 years old if they have any ID on them to prove how old they are is being
slightly silly at best and taking the piss at worst! As a middle aged man I
am now only 16 years off being asked for ID next time I nip into Asda and attempt
to buy a cheap crate of Stella to help me escape from this crazy world in which
we live in. If we didn't know better we would have bet this latest initiative
was dreamt up during a mad drunken, drug crazed conference in Ibiza. |
A three way court battle has commenced for the right to use the word Lesbian when
describing something. Residence of the Greek Island of Lesbos are said to be infuriated
when describing themselves as Lesbians comes across as meaning that they
indulge in acts of depraved woman on woman sex rather than its origin I.E.
that they come from the Island of Lesbos. Gay right activists insist that the term
"Lesbian" refers to two women who are in a relationship that includes not just
love and sex but also usually one half of the partnership that was a butch
scary looking bruiser claiming to be a woman who would struggle to find a male
partner were she straight yet would be welcomed in most rugby teams. The third
party involved in the court case claiming the rights to the word "Lesbian" was
in fact our very own "Big Mark" who uses the term daily when referring to items
of his extensive DVD and video collection when selling them on EBay, although
the words "Red Hot Sex Action" usually accompany the main title. "Big Mark" once
visited the island of Lesbos and has even had a deserted cove named after him,
in fact if you ever get a chance to visit the Island of Lesbos, a visit to "Caught
wanking while watching two birds doing it and fined fifty Dollars" is one
of the most picturesque bays that side of Morecambe. |
 Copyright © 2008 Mrwirrall.com. All rights reserved. |
Drunk And Caught On Camera In Morocco |
While most people who visit Africa do so to enjoy the wildlife MrWirrall.Com appears to just look for the nearest Karaoke bar, gets drunk and lets rip.........Click Here |
Follow the next link, put your first name in the first box, second name in second
box and ignore the last two boxes. Then click on Visualizer at the bottom left
hand side. We found it amusing....Click Here |
Manchester Derby, Just How Did United Lose?....Click Here |
Mr Wirrall. Com Picture Gallery |
Suicide, killing oneself, genocide, killing lots of other people, and finally
..Click Here |
Blackpools "Top Of The Grotts" |
To commemorate the shite 2008 season we've been out and about with a dodgy camera
to see if we can find any cracks in Blackpool's otherwise unblemished natural
beauty.....Click Here |
How To Deter Vandals From Council Estate Gardens... |
Good telling off ? Curfew? ASBO? |
Naa, let nature take it`s natural course! |
He`s getting a new Quiz show then is he? |
Join Us On Our Photographic Journey As Adam Gives The Thumbs Up Or The Bums Rush
To News And Events. |
(This Bottom Hs Been Classified As A Health Hazard A To Human Beings) |
Following the loss of yet another taxi company (Progress) as they merge with Streamline
(probably) we save them time and energy by renaming them and also making
them "Gay Freindly" thus guaranteeing them lots of work from the gay and lesbian
community (Brown Pound). That just leaves Blacktax and Premier as companys that
have yet to merge although Premier are rumoured to be twinned with Warsaw
and are currently putting pressure on local politicians to pass a new law
stating that all cars to drive on the right hand side of the road to bring them
into line with the majority of Europe and most of their drivers! |
At One With Adam And His Arse! |
Herman's Hermits once sang "There's a kind of hush all over the world tonight". Well
we don't know about that but there's a strong smell of "Chip Fat" all over
Blackpool at the moment! Sweet baby Jesus and the onion rings is there one
single Diesel vehicle on the Fylde coast that is actually running on fuel that
doesn't consist of three parts "Crisp and Dry" Chip oil? Mind you at least it's
drowning out the putrid whiffs from the pumping station at Manchester Square
and a fare to Fleetwood isn't quite so bad on the nostrils as "Asda`s Own Brand
Chip Fat" appears to quell the initial nostril numbness as one leaves the safe
sanctuary of Cleveleys and heads into the murky outskirts of Fleetwood that once
used to smell of just fish but in the last few years the smell resembled thousand
of rotting corpses however, lately the aroma reminds one of a pleasant night
out at Harry Ramsdens.
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 As the sad news broke that Carol Vorderman was leaving Countdown after 26 years of
solving maths puzzles and pretending to laugh at Richard Whitley's shite jokes
followed by Des Lynams and then the near dead Des O'Conner kicks in at the end
of this series, middle aged men across the country are having to come to terms
with an end to the mid afternoon five knuckle shuffle. This tragic loss comes
a year after the smoking ban in pubs meant a 50% increase in the number of viewers
to the program as old men who usually spent the afternoon propping up bars
in local pubs chain smoking roll ups got fed up with being rained on in dodgy
beer gardens and turned their attention to "Sports and Pastimes" closer to home.
The result was a boom in the sales of "Scotties Man Size Tissues" and a clean
smelling empty pub. Some sceptics are insinuating that the government are behind
this latest Channel 4 initiative as a back door policy to get punters back in
pubs during |
The ULTIMATE in Women's Body Piercing...Click Here
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Puts A Smile On Your Face |
Did anyone else notice that when Andy Murray reached the final of the US Open in
New York he was hailed as a "Brave Brit" ready to take on the world and win, however,
after losing miserably in the final the media immidiatly reverted back to
calling him "That "Miserable Scotish B#stard" we so rightly know him as? |
 Whilst taxi owners and drivers strive to ensure members of the public entering the
"Blackpool Taxi Experience" (using a cab) get the best service possible by giving
up their valuable time going on worthless courses, paying huge amounts of
money to the council for inflated CRB checks, keep Quacks who should of retired
in business and jobs by paying for cheaper medicals conducted by them rather than
their own doctors who charge the earth and remortgage their houses to buy brand
spanking new vehicles at a time when trade is decreasing at an alarming rate
it's nice to know that Licensing are doing their bit by having a lie in and
opening their offices later in the morning and closing earlier, especially on Fridays
when, according to most radio stations "The Weekend Starts Here" although
most wait till 5pm to play that particular jingle marking the fact unlike licensing
who appear to f#ck off to the pub at an incredibly early 4.00pm! Some sceptics
would accuse them of using this spare "Pub Time" for "Brainstorming Sessions"
resulting in future council policy for the Taxi Trade and while we are not
ones for listening to gossip and hearsay you have to admit that it is feasible
bearing in mind the state of the trade locally and the ideas that that emanate
from those hallowed walls inside the offices on Albert Road while all around
the trade collapses in a heap! |
Council Do Their Bit To Keep Pubs Open |
This is a picture of a "Silver Sock". It was spotted on North Promenade (Blackpool)
earlier this week by a member of the public. A workman in the employ of Blackpool
Borough council came across this sock tied to the railings he was painting,
being a bone idle bastard by heart, rather than untying the sock the lazy git
painted over it, that's right, he painted the sock silver rather than removing
it. This is a council putting an enormous financial burden on the taxi trade
during harsh times all in the name of "First Impressions" and "Health and Safety".
A council so bloody lazy it paints a sock tied to railings thinking it's doing
its bit to enhance the enjoyment of passersby! |
Blackpool, Home Of The "Silver Sock" |
How come winter is always cold and miserable yet summer is never hot and uplifting
then eh? |
Lets Face It, Only A Knob Would Vote Labour In The Next Election! |
Belly Button Jewelrey Of The Year Contest....Click Here |
If you had purchased £1000 of Northern Rock stock one year ago, it would be worth
£4.95 today .With HBOS, you would have £16.50 left of the original £1000.With
XL Leisure, you would have less than a fiver, and if you had purchased £1000 of
Seguro Air Lines stock, you would have a measly 49p. However, if you had purchased
£1000 worth of Tennent's Lager one year ago, drank the lot of it, then re-cycled
the cans at an aluminium plant for a cash refund, you would have £214. And
so, based on the above information, the best current investment advice is to
drink heavily and recycle!.
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