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B.A.D.B.O.Y. Entry Form

Bottesini
Assembly and
Distribution
Bassist
Of the
Year

Automatic Competition Entry Form

Are you ready to be B.A.D.'s Bassist Of the Year? This prestigious annual competition picks the Man Who Leads the Bass World. (We say "Man" because a woman has never won.) Entrants will be judged on the following:
  • Technical mastery of the Instrument
  • Knowledge of the literature
  • Charisma
  • Upper-body strength
  • Life experience
The winner will be eligible for lucrative solo contracts in exciting, out-of-the-way concert halls throughout the northern Plains states. He'll also receive valuable coupons worth of dollars off many popular B.A.D. Products.

This automatic entry form will render instant judgement on the First Round of the competition, weeding out weak and unsuitable candidates and sparing the hard-working folks down here at B.A.D. a lot of pointless paperwork.

Name as it appears in concert programs:

Principal residence:

Bow type:
French German Inuit Other
Number of times you've publically performed the Koussevitzky Concerto with orchestra:
3-10 11-25 26-100 101+
Among the following, what do you value most:
Enter your prefered fingering for a 3-octave A-flat major scale starting on the E string:
Check all that are true:

I've been sued by my stand-partner.

I have never used violin rosin.

I wear boots in performance more than half of the time.

I'm pretty sure global warming is my fault.

I really love Music Minus One recordings.

I've shaken hands with Gunther Schuller more than once.

I play equally well with the french and german bow.

In performances, I look at my watch during rests of 24 measures or more.

I have never used solo tuning.

I tune up orchestra strings when I require solo tuning.

I know how to make my own rosin.

I've repaired my own Bass using Elmer's glue.

I like to sing the Bass part to Ein Heldenleben.

Concisely state your musical philosophy, approach to callus maintenance, and food preferences:

To enter the contest, place the second finger of your left hand on your mouse button and simulate your most soulful vibrtato while clicking. You will be instantly evaluated by advanced server-pull technology.

If you get an error message or no action, you have been eliminated from the First Round of the B.A.D.B.O.Y. Competition. Successful entrants will move on to the Second Round, consisting of a personal interview with Gary Automobile.

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