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SUGGESTED READING
EMPTY ARMS by Sherokee Ilse, Published by Wintergreen Press
This Book offers practical help to parents at he time of their miscarriage, stillbirth or infant death.
MISCARRIAGE A SHATTERED DREAM by Sherokee Ilse & Linda Hammer-Burns, Published by Wintergreen Press
OUR STORIES OF MISCARRIAGE by Rachel Faldet & Karen Fitton
This wonderful montage of sensitive and authentic stories provides an emotional connection for grieving families.
A SILENT SORROW: PREGNANCY LOSS by Ingrid Kohn & Perry-Lynn Moffitt
Revised edition published by Routledge.
(I highly reccomend this book as it was the first I read following my own loss. This book is packed with essential information, and ideas on memorials and rituals for your baby.)
We are touched and honored that Perry-Lynn Moffitt Acknowledged our baby in the new edition of A Silent Sorrow.
"To Dylan Siobhan Morrisey, for reminding me and so many others of why we continue to do this work."
ANGELIC PRESENCE by Cathi Lammert & Susan Friedeck
Available through the National SHARE Office.
A touching book of heartfelt personal "Touched By An Angel" stories.
LETTERS TO GABRIEL
The true story of Gabriel Michael Santorum.By, Karen Garver Santorum
This moving collection of intimate, poignant and heartwarming letters is written by Karen Santorum to her unborn child, Gabriel Michael. Each day of her pregnancy, Karen wrote a letter to her son, never expecting that the letters would someday be published. Though her pregnancy began as normal, Karen ended up experiencing serious difficulties with her pregnancy at the same time that her husband Rick Santorum, the Republican Senator for Pennsylvania, was leading the charge against partial birth abortions in the U.S. Senate.
Letters to Gabriel is the story of Gabriel Michael's short, meaningful life, and a tribute to the sanctity of life, the deep faith of the Santorums, and family values. The intimate bond between mother and child is expressed by Karen with incredible tenderness and love. This is indeed a very moving book that will leave an indelible mark on your heart. Once you read it, you will be eager to share it with someone else.
GIVE THEM WINGS AND LET THEM FLY
A compilation of writings from people all over the world wishing to leave legacys to their unborn children through the use of poetry, positive affirmations, suggestions, scripture,
and special individual experiences.
Reviews:
“Powerfully written with simple honesty, profoundly healing with it’s compassionate message of hope, it breaks through the boundaries of those who have lost an unborn child and embraces all those who have experienced the deep pain associated with losing a loved one with tenderness and understanding.”
“For those whose souls ache from the pain of loss, “Give Them Wings...” is a must read, a respectful, spiritual “road-side assistance” in the journey back to Him”.
Ann Jillian
http://www.annjillian.com/index.html
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“Any woman who’s ever been pregnant knows a child is loved even if it is never born. Kymberli Brady’s comforting words and thoughts of profound loss and love will be a blessing to anyone who’s lost a child”
LeeZa Gibbons
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“The thoughts and bits of wisdom found in “Give Them Wings and Let Them Fly” weave a blanket of love and assurance that can bring comfort to all of us who have been touched by the loss of an unborn child.
Thank you Kymberli"
Marie Osmond
I"LL HOLD YOU IN HEAVEN by Jack Hayford, Published by Regal Books.
An Evangelical Christian book that provides much comfort, hope and healing following the loss of a baby due to miscarriage, stillbirth or abortion.
Books, including publicatios in helping children through the grief associated with the loss of a sibling, other grief resources, publications and materials available through.
CENTERING CORPORATION
1531 North Saddle Creek Road
Omaha. NE 68104
402-553-1200
E-Mail: J1200@aol.com
Hugged With Our Hearts / Memory Books
By; Kathy Casey
HUGSS of Louisana
Angel Beauty
5 1/2 by 8 1/2 inches
12 pages
Cost: $ 6.25
(price includes shipping and postage)
Louisiana residents - please include 8.94% tax
**Orders of five or more?
Please ask us about our discounts.
The Bible
Last but certainly not least, the Bible is the number one book for support and guidance. The Holy Scripture will offer you comfort during your darkest hours of grief, a great source of counsel.
"But the Lord was my support, He also brought me forth into a broad place; He rescued me, because He delighted in me."
2 Samuel 22:19-20
THE TRUTH IS
The truth ISN'T that you will feel "all better" in a couple of days, or weeks, or even months.
The truth IS that the days will be filled with an unending ache and the nights will feel one million sad years long for a while. Healing is attained only after the slow necessary progression through the stages of grief and mourning.
The truth isn't that a new pregnancy will help you forget.
The truth is that, while thoughts of a new pregnancy soon may provide hope, a lost infant deserves to be mourned just as you would have with anyone you loved. Grieving takes a lot of energy and can be both emotionally and physically draining. This could have an impact upon your health during another pregnancy. While the decision to try again is a very individualized one, being pregnant while still actively grieving is very difficult.
The truth isn't that pills or alcohol will dull the pain.
The truth is that they will merely postpone the reality you must eventually face in order to begin healing. However, if Your doctor feels that medication is necessary to help maintain your health, use it intelligently and according to his/her instructions.
The truth isn't that once this is over your life will be the same.
The truth is that your upside-down world will slowly settle down, hopefully leaving you a more sensitive, compassionate person, better prepared to handle the hard times that everyone must deal with sooner or later. When you consider that you have just experienced one of the worst things that can happen to a family, as you heal you will become aware of how strong you are.
The truth isn't that grieving is morbid, or a sign of weakness or mental instability.
The truth is that grieving is work that must be done. Now is the appropriate time. Allow yourself the time. Feel it, flow with it. Try not to fight it too often. It will get easier if you expect that it is variable, that some days are better than others. Be patient with yourself. There are no short cuts to healing. The active grieving will be over when all the work is done.
The truth isn't that grief is all-consuming.
The truth is that in the midst of the most agonizing time of your life, there will be laughter. Don't feel guilty. Laugh if you want to. Just as you must allow yourself the time to grieve, you must also allow yourself the time to laugh.Viewing laughter as part of the healing process, just as overwhelming sadness is now, will make the pain more bearable.
The truth isn't that one person can bear this alone.
The truth is that while only you can make the choices necessary to return to the mainstream of life a healed person, others in your life are also grieving and are feeling very helpless. As unfair as it may seem, the burden of remaining in contact with family and friends often falls on you. They are afraid to "butt in," or they may be fearful of saying or doing the wrong thing. This makes them feel even more helpless. They need to be told honestly what they can do to help. They don't need to be told, "I'm doing fine" when you're really NOT doing fine. By allowing others to share in your pain and assist you with your needs, you will be comforted and they will feel less helpless.
The truth isn't that God must be punishing you for something.
The truth is that sometimes these things just happen. They have happened to many people before you, and they will happen to many people after you. This was not an act of any God; it was an act of Nature. It isn't fair to blame God, or yourself, or anyone else. Try to understand that it is human nature to look for a place to put the blame, especially when there are so few answers to the question, "Why?" Sometimes there are answers. Most times there are not. Believing that you are being punished will only get in the way of your healing.
The truth isn't that you will be unable to make any choices or decisions during this time.
The truth is that while major decisions, such as moving or changing jobs, are better off being postponed for now, life goes on. It will be difficult, but decisions dealing with the death of your baby (seeing and naming the baby, arranging and/or attending a religious ritual, taking care of the nursery items you have acquired) are all choices you can make for yourself. Well-meaning people will try to shelter you from the pain of this. However, many of us who have suffered similar losses agree that these first decisions are very important. They help to make the loss real. Our brains filter out much of the pain early on as a way to protect us. Very soon after that, we find ourselves reliving the events over and over, trying to remember everything. This is another way that we acknowledge the loss. Until the loss is real, grieving cannot begin. Being involved at this early time will be a painful experience, but it will help you deal with your grief better as you progress by providing comforting memories of having performed loving, caring acts for your baby.
The truth isn't that you will be delighted to hear that a friend or other loved one has just given birth to a healthy baby.
The truth is that you may find it very difficult to be around mothers with young babies. You may be hurt, or angry, or jealous. You may wonder why you couldn't have had that joy. You may be resentful, or refuse to see friends with new babies. You may even secretly wish that the same thing would happen to someone else. You want someone to understand how it feels. You may also feel very ashamed that you could wish such things on people you love or care about, or think that you must be a dreadful person. You aren't. You're human, and even the most loving people can react this way when they are actively grieving. If the situations were reversed, your friends would be feeling and thinking the same things you are. Forgive yourself. It's OK. These feelings will eventually go away.
The truth isn't that all marriages survive this difficult time.
The truth is that sometimes you might blame one another, resent one another, or dislike being with one another. If you find this happening, get help. There are self-help groups available or grief counselors who can help. Don't ignore it or tuck it away assuming it will get better. It won't. Actively grieving people cannot help one another. It is unrealistic, like having two people who were blinded at the same time teach each other Braille. Talking it out with others may help. It might even save your marriage.
The truth isn't that eventually you will accept the loss of your baby and forget all about this awful time.
The truth is that acceptance is a word reserved for the understanding you come to when you've successfully grieved the loss of a parent, or a grandparent, or a beloved older relative. When you lose a child, your whole future has been affected, not your past. No one can really accept that. But there is resolution in the form of healing and learning how to cope. You will survive. Many of us who have gone through this type of grief are afraid we might forget about our babies once we begin to heal. This won't happen. You will always remember your precious baby because successful grieving carves a place in your heart where he or she will live forever.
Sancitify them by your truth. Your word is truth. John 17:17
2000 Worldwide Candle Lighting
December 10, 2000 — National Children's Memorial Day — will be the day of the 4th Annual Worldwide Candle Lighting. Everyone, in every time zone around the world, is invited to light a candle in honor of all children who have died, that their light may always shine.
As candles go out in one time zone, they will be lit in the next, creating a wave of light that will encircle the globe. Please join us in this 24-hour memorial by lighting a candle, wherever you are, at 7 PM, December 10.
We thank our United States Senators, John Kerry and Edward Kennedy, for supporting Resolution 118.
Rights Of A Parent When A Baby Dies
To be given the opportunity to see, hold and touch their baby at any time before and/ or after death within reason.To have photographs of their baby taken, and made available to the parents or held in security until the parents wish to see them.
To be given as many momentoes as possible, e.g., crib card, baby beads, ultrasound and / or other photos, lock of hair, feet and hand prints and record of weight and length.
To name their child and bond with him or her.
To observe cultural and religious practices.
To be cared for by an empathetic staff who will respect their feelings, thoughts, beliefs and and individual requests.
To be with each other throughout hospitalization as much as possible.
To be given time alone with their baby, allowing for individual needs.
To request an autopsy. In the case of miscarriage, to request to have or not have an autopsy or pathology exam as determined by applicable law.
To have information presented in terminology understandable to the parents regarding their baby's status and cause of death, including autopsy and pathology reports and medical records.
To plan a farewell ritual, burial or cremation in compliance with local state regulations and according to their personal beliefs, religious or cultural tradition.
To be provided with information on support resources which assist in the healing process, e.g., support groups, counseling, reading material and perinatal loss newsletters.
Rights Of The Baby
To be recognized as a person who was born and died.To be named.
To be seen, touched and held by the family.
To have life-ending acknowledgment.
To be put to rest with dignity.
Courtesy of the National SHARE Office
Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee Jeremiah 1:5
