Title: Two Overlooked, Neither Forgotten
Summary: There is trouble in the budding relationship between Glorfindel and Erestor which involves long term secrets and past pains.
Rating: NC-17, graphic sexual content.
Archive: Only with author's approval
Feedback: Supportive and Constructive feedback always welcome.

Warning and Disclaimer: Tolkien's works to not belong to me, and this material is not for profit or to make claims to said work. This material contains graphic m/m sex and adult situations. If you are offended by such material and/or under the age of consent in your country and/or state, you are to leave immediately. If you don't understand this, leave now. Otherwise, consenting adults please enjoy.


Two Overlooked, Neither Forgotten
By Paladin



Prologue

“It is a heavy task they bear, one that must succeed. I shudder to think of the consequences if they fail.”

“He has chosen well, I believe.”

“We have to believe that don’t we? I think he could have done better.”

The golden haired elf looked to his lover, his expression cool but not cold as the fingers traveled over the glistening goblet of wine nestled in his right palm. “I would have gone had he asked me.”

The dark haired elf nodded, his thoughts still distant for his fork swirled the stray noodle about his plate repeatedly. “And I would have sent you.”

Glorfindel relaxed in his seat and tilted his head peering at the chief of Elrond’s councilors, a being who was wise and sometimes cold to others though they both new better in the end. “It pains you to say this to me?”

His companion nodded. “It does. The journey will be dark and the chances of them walking away from it whole if it all...”

The pale blue eyes smiled as the elven lord spoke. “I am flattered Erestor.” He took then, a small silver spoon from the jar of honey nearby, lifting the dripping morsel to his lips, licking the sweetness lazily as if their conversation were not of great importance.

Erestor’s fingers froze, his expression a bit grim with displeasure. “Really Glorfindel must you?”

Flickering his tongue a few times against the tasty spoon, the blonde elf stood smoothly, eyeing his companion a moment before he turned and departed. “I will leave you with your foul mood, at least until evening meal.”

Erestor then found himself alone with only his thoughts to pass the time.

[Alone with One’s Thoughts]

That had been a few days ago, and since then the fellowship had long been gone and the Lord of Rivendell brood in dark times, dealing with his decisions that would affect the fate of the Middle Earth herself and the tragic love between his daughter Arwen, and Aragorn.

Glorfindel had not met Erestor that evening for their nightly meal nor the days after, and even when the chief councilor should have been focusing on the upcoming banquet with prominent leaders of the human and dwarf race, he thought of the golden haired elf that vexed him so.

They were friends really but not truly close as far as elven friendship went, their relationship consisting of brief encounters and small meals. There was a new pain in his friends eyes, coupled alongside a sorrow of sorts and a dread that had always been but of which Erestor had never understood, never been able to bring himself to investigate. There were few within Rivendell itself that had as many mysteries and secrets as the golden haired warrior, not even its lord.

Erestor sighed and returned his feather quill to its proper place, blowing the wet black ink upon the paper lightly. Even if the Fellowship succeeded, the elves had so little time left. He himself included. Too much had been neglected, too many questions left silent, few answers uttered from himself.

His silver eyes looked into the flickering, fading candle as he sighed. The words they spoke that night, had hurt Glorfindel all because he would not bring himself to approach the luminous being as he wished. Not when there was so much free spirit and self abandonment flowing from his friend’s aura, traits he himself could not entertain so freely during such times. But maybe, just a little, Erestor was afraid of dampening the very thing that drew him to the flame.

He stood smoothly, wearing dark robes, his hair loose and free, not braided, as he placed a nearby prepared scroll under his arm. Elrond’s decision not to send Glorfindel puzzled him, angered him. It seemed a simple matter of experience, of skill... perhaps that was the new pain he had seen in the pale blue eyes. Hurt. Hurt that their lord had not intrusted one of his most worthy with this imperative task.

The dark haired elf parted from his chambers, still in deep though, walking down the mystical halls of Rivendell, contemplating too many dark ideas to appreciate the fine light art work of the architecture which still managed to enthrall and warm his heart.

Elrond was wise, experienced in times of darkness and having stood alongside the greatest of the elves. His decisions had always stemmed from righteousness, and the light. The Lord of Rivendell stilled his hand, kept his sword sheathed when others would have ended he darkness during the Last Alliance themselves had it been them, perhaps forsaking this time to a worst fate than it faced. And yet, and yet the twilight haired elf would interfere in the oddest of things, dwarves and treasures, wizards... beings that were not entwined in elven life or kingdoms. And then again, it had come full circle and returned.

Erestor smiled then, lifting his fingers to touch his lips as if he could not believe in his own gesture. His heart felt lightened and warmed. He would trust in Elrond as Glorfindel suggested, as his lord’s own person warranted and let go the weary brooding.

With a soft sigh, he entered the banquet hall, ready to face his colleagues, lord and their guest.

[The Banquet]
It was surprising really, to see that only a handful of individuals had gathered, a couple of servants, two spear-men guarding the main entrance and... Glorfindel.

Erestor frowned and looked at his friend who sat at the table, his head lightly bowed, resting in the palms of his upturned hands.

“Glorfindel?” The dark haired elf approached his friend who looked up slowly, sleepily.

The elven lord blinked and spoke softly. “One guest has not yet arrived. Elrond is entertaining the others until the last one shows then we can begin properly.”

Erestor placed a gentle hand on his lover’s shoulder. “Are you all right Glorfindel? Why not join them in the sitting room?”

Glorfindel smiled slowly as he reached for the roasted nuts in a crystal bowl in front of his place setting. “How do you know I was not waiting for you?”

Erestor frowned. “I doubt you have been thinking about me these past days at all.”

Glorfindel studied him for a moment, chewing the nuts thoughtfully and drinking a bit of water before he replied. “I do not believe you have come in search of me Erestor. How was I to know you were even interested in seeing me?”

Erestor took a seat. “What do you mean? You said you would come.”

“What I meant was I might which also meant I might not. Is it so hard for you to come seeking me?”

The dark haired elf frowned. Somehow, this encounter was not turning out well considering he was the one that instigated it out of concern. “Sometimes,” he began. “It seems to me as if you are not wanting to be sought.”

“After being pushed away repeatedly, I do not find that too difficult to understand Erestor. Do you?”

Erestor placed his scroll on the table and frowned intently. “Glorfindel, I know that we have not spoken at length about our relation...”

“Not spoken at all you mean,” came a quiet reply which Erestor chose to ignore.

“But I have offered on many occasions to accompany you to your room, to have a quiet dinner in our chambers, mine if need be. But all you wish to do are these silly gatherings, these little events of singing and dancing when you know I am far too busy to do so during the day and not one to frolic about the woods like some love sick doe.”

The pale blue eyes glanced at him, as if with little interest, for his lover barely stopped chewing on the nuts to speak. “They are not so silly to me, and if you were truly interested in us, you would make the time.” The voice was cool and level but not exactly unkind, the features difficult to read.

Erestor’s brow furrowed. “Then meet with me tonight, and we will go to one of these luncheons by the river or the games the youth’s play out in the trees if your heart desires it so.”

Glorfindel turned to him, emotions flickering too quickly within the pale blue globes for him to pinpoint. “Tonight is not a good night. Perhaps tomorrow...”

Their conversation ended when their lord, dressed his dark robes and adorned in the light tiara,  entered the room accompanied by two elven guests and three humans, also well dressed.

Smoothly, both the dark haired and golden haired elves stood, bowing gracefully as Elrond spoke.

“Erestor, Glorfindel. I am pleased you were able to join us this evening.” The Lord of Rivendell took a seat at the end of the table with the twins, Elrohir and Elladan on either side of him. Arwen, it seemed, would not join them. He picked

Despite his growing anger and desire to continue their private conversation, there was no good way to excuse both himself and Glorfindel so early into the large meal. With a darkening mood, Erestor dished himself up a small portion of the nights game, sugared fruits, roasted nuts and spiced bread.

Grey eyes ventured to them both; it became clear Elrond was aware of the tension though he was easily covering it. “Despite the confidence we have placed in the fellowship, it would be folly for Rivendell, Mirkwood, Lothlorien and our allies not to prepare for ill tidings. Our guests are gathered here to discuss possible plans and choices that we may have to utilize our resources to their full extent. Erestor, if you will.”

Erestor stood and moved to the back board, tacking up a large map of Rivendell’s lands and running his fingers across the tanned parchment. “The known roads are here and here, the places where we meet the travelers the most. Unfortunately, the goblin armies do not often possess the mounts and vehicles that would require the actual use of roads. However, Rivendell has many scouts in these locations.” He pointed to a few areas of forest that would likely not mean anything to their guests, but of which he would instill into their memories. “In the event that messengers must come and go when the lands are perilous, the best choices would be...”

The silver eyes blinked as he turned around and looked across the table of serious and thoughtful faces. Serious and thoughtful save one.

Glorfindel leaned slightly back in his chair, the honey dipper in one hand and his tongue lightly outstretched to catch the long droplets coming down.

Erestor felt his mouth drop slightly though he prevented it from opening fully as a warm glow entered his body. Dear gods, was he blushing? He couldn’t keep his eyes off his lover, who’s own pale blue globes were hidden behind his eyelids as if he had no notion of what he was doing.

“Here and here,” he stammered and managed to continue, gaining a raised brow from his lord nearby.

Keep their attention on you, he thought, trying to save his lover undo embarrassment. He cleared his throat a bit. “We dare not waste any magic for something like messages, but there are trained avian that can aid us more quickly when individuals cannot be spared. Rivendell has already sent a messenger to the eagles to prepare us...” His voice trailed off again as he watched Glorfindel’s tongue stretch outward and actually wrap around the dripping thick liquid.

“Err Giant eagles and we are certain some aid will be...”

When he paused this time, Elrond’s gaze ventured in the same direction his did though Glorfindel had put down his sweet toy and looked calm and very much collected. Almost as if... And then it happened, and it made Erestor unbearably furious. The golden haired warrior actually winked at him, right here in front of a meeting of this importance.

Erestor was nearly beside himself and was rather relieved when Elrond finished for him and ended the presentation early. “As you can see, we’ve a map with fine details available should any of you wish to ponder on it. Erestor will be available for any questions you may have as will I. Please, enjoy yourself for you have traveled a great deal to come here and such matters can await till a later date.”

Erestor folded up his map scroll and ventured behind Glorfindel, giving the elven lord a meaningful look before departing from the chambers, trying to ignore Elrond’s intense gaze.

Once Glorfindel joined him in the hallway it was all he could do to keep from shouting. “What the hell were you doing in there? I was in the middle of a...”

Glorfindel suddenly grabbed the dark haired councilor and pulled him into a nearby closet, his lips pressed firmly against his.

Erestor sputtered and managed to regain enough control to push Glorfindel away. “What?”

The pale blue eyes sparkled with laughter and mischief. “Live a little Erestor. Is it not exciting for you to feel free?’

“Free?!” His silver eyes must have been wide with disbelief as he beheld his love smiling at him with that incredibly charming... and lovely... Erestor shook his head quickly and nearly hissed when his lover reached into his robes and trailed soft fingers over his chest. “Glorfindel... we cannot do this here. They are right in the other room.”

Glorfindel purred softly, his lips kissing Erestor gently, repeatedly. “I wish to have fun with you Erestor. Why won’t you let me?”

“Fun?” Erestor breathed quietly, feeling his body warm to idea, even if he lived in the absolute horror that Elrond or worst, one of the guests would open this door any moment.

“Yes,” the golden haired warrior replied, his fingers moving to Erestor’s cheek and pointed ears. “You are so serious, so intent on your duties, on ours. Be with me. Just me. Let go,” came the whispered plea.

Erestor hesitated, finding the request tempting and the taste of honey left on his tongue enthralling. Still, he was not one to relinquish his own wishes so easily and was equally stubborn. After all, Glorfindel played a very risky game in there just now and it was only fair he made a request of his own. “All right. If it will please you to do this here and now, then I will.”

A smile lit up the fair face so quickly he almost stopped himself from continuing.

“But, then you must meet me in my chambers this evening, for wine, flowers and a nice dinner.” His fingers glided through the golden strands lovingly. “For I wish to romance you Glorfindel.”

Glorfindel stepped away then, and the loss of warmth was almost heart shattering. Erestor felt as if the rejection were as cold and hard as steel itself.

“I cannot this night Erestor. Maybe tomorrow... certainly the next. But not, not this night.”

Erestor forced himself to remain calm, level, after all it was what he was good at. “All right,” he began quietly. “Tell me why, and it will be so.”

The hurt and disbelief in Glorfindel’s pale blue globes was almost as surprising as the hint of longing in his tone, the hidden emotion swirling in the colored globes as well. “Is it not enough that I say I cannot do this thing?”

Erestor straightened his chin. “It is not. You wish more from me, perhaps more than I can give, and yet you are unwilling to part with just an answer to my frequent question.”

Glorfindel sighed softly, his fingers traveling down Erestor’s neck. “Not tonight, but an early morning. That I could do. I would be willing to come to you, even before dawn...”

Erestor shook his head and kissed Glorfindel tenderly, lifting the light chin and peering into the passionate eyes he adored so much. “You’re beautiful, and passionate and I very much enjoyed that little display of yours, but I cannot let myself go.” He straightened his garments and opened the door. “Not when there is no one to go to.”

The dark haired elf then returned to his own chambers with a heavy heart, deciding to spend the rest of the early evening there in contemplation. He was not yet ready to give up on this strange relationship that had been brewing too slowly over the past couple of years, but it seemed they were at a rather difficult and strange impasse.

[Midnight Greetings]

Erestor approached Glorfindel’s chambers with a light scowl, two goblets in one hand and red wine in the other. He did not care if Glorfindel wanted to wait until the morning. It was far past time they spent the night together, and he was going to make sure the beautiful blonde realized that he was not like the others and would not be put aside until he was wanted again.

The elven counselor paused near the door, realizing it was slightly ajar and hesitated. Surely, surely he was not told to wait because another.... Glorfindel would not do that to him, not when he knew Erestor wanted to be with him.

A cold hot fury raced through his veins just then and had he not been overwhelmingly curious as to who it was, Erestor would have walked away, and fumed in his own chambers. Instead the dark haired elf stepped in stealthily, holding the goblets away from each other.

Erestor kept to the shadows and could barely contain his gasp when he beheld the Lord of Rivendell kneeling over his lover. His body went numb and it felt as if his heart had shattered. Glorfindel had always been free with his body, with his fondness and desires of others, but their lord. It felt a betrayal, not just an annoyance or a irritation but a deep rooted pain.

Perhaps this anguish and inability to move came as a blessing in disguise, for Elrond stood then and moved very near the shadows Erestor lay dormant in. He was dressed, fully so and in his fingers was a small white cloth which he dampened in the nearby water basin.

Elrond moved back to Glorfindel, heedless of Erestor’s presence near the door and gently bathed the moaning elf.

Glorfindel spook softly, almost incoherently, writhing on the bed lightly as if in the throws of some... nightmare. “Betrayal, must save.”

Erestor stepped forward, carefully not to disturb either while remaining in the shades and being able to do so for Elrond was far too occupied to think he was being watched. Glorfindel was covered by sheet and comforter, the blankets too smooth to imply anything. He felt a pang of guilt, that his anger had come so quickly and directed at such individuals he cared for deeply, but he watched the scene with a morbid fascination. What was going on? Was he ill? Glorfindel had been well earlier, and Erestor could not believe this elf would be in peril all these years and none know of it.

“A trap,” the blonde voiced softly. “Must escape. Balrog...” His breathing deepened and the tone now held a tint of fear, the strong fingers grasping the blankets tightly and the elven lord pulling away from Elrond though his eyes remained closed.

Elrond lifted his hand and waited for Glorfindel to still a moment before reapplying the coolness to the pale forehead. His voice soft, soothing. “Glorfindel.”

From his hiding place, he realized Elrond did not seem to wish to awaken his lover and seemed very fatigued himself as if he had been here this whole night and not slept at all. What was going on? If only he had not snuck into the room... if only he could ask questions.

Glorfindel suddenly reached out and grabbed Elrond’s wrist tightly, his body tense. “Ai, all is loss. Gondolin. Run... I must... Gondolin...” His lovers pain stricken voice repeated that place’s name, its heightened volume lowering and softening to a point where Erestor could now here a softly uttered reply from Elrond.

Elrond spoke but one word, also repeatedly and gently. “Rivendell.”

It was difficult to say how long this strange exchange took place, but it seemed an eternity before the blonde haired elf visibly relaxed and spoke a new word. “Rivendell...” This time his tone peaceful and at ease.

With a heavy sigh, Elrond stood, letting the fingers about his wrists relax and then lowered them to the bed. The twilight haired elf gently tucked in his patient and kissed Glorfindel gently on the forehead. “Sleep well my friend. You have earned it. Let us hope there is not a need to do this again too soon. But as ever, I know when my subjects are not well, and will aid them when needed even if my subject refuses to ask for aid.” His voice was weary and sorrowful. Elrond arose and took the washbasin and cloth, with another quick glance to the sleeping figure, departed.

Erestor counted the time carefully in his head before he allowed himself to move and step forward his face grim and colored with shame. He realized, what he had witness was Elrond’s secret, not Glorfindel’s but was caused by a secret his lover bared well. Too well. And his most prominent question... why?

Erestor leaned forward and kissed his lover’s peaceful brow lightly and stepped back, returning to his own chambers with troubled thoughts. He knew history too well not to know what had occurred, or more importantly, what must have occurred long ago. It had always been assumed that Glorfindel of Gondolin had been Glorfindel of Rivendell’s namesake. It was not entirely unheard of after all. He was a beloved member of elven history.

He set his wasted efforts on his dresser and frowned. So they were one in the same, which was truly a miracle, but why keep it from the rest of them? Why keep it from him? Elrond knew, perhaps the other leaders knew. Galadriel, Celeborn, even Thranduil. His concern was quickly turning into annoyance and anger as it often did when things concerned his lover. The difference would be if Glorfindel knew if Elrond knew. If he did not, then Glorfindel meant to keep it to himself till the end. If he did, then he meant to keep Erestor in the dark... thus the reason they did not spend the night together in Rivendell.

Erestor took a seat, his fingers moving to cover his suddenly weary features. But they had in other places, on trips, in tents and inns.  He shook his head and stood, pouring himself a small cup of tea. Glorfindel was strong in everything it did. Perhaps Rivendell was truly his sanctuary, a place to let go and relinquish the control, the fight. In his home, in the safety of his room, he could let the nightmares come and feel safe.

The dark haired elf looked to the window with a sigh. Glorfindel didn’t trust him enough to share the secret... maybe because he kept pushing his lover away. And now he couldn’t even ask to find out for sure for he had witnessed what was not his to do so.

[Forgiveness and Heartache]

Erestor felt the light rising through the fine curtains of his windows shortly before he heard the opening of his door, and the very light footsteps that followed afterward. The elven counselor kept his eyes closed, his breathing deep and even as if asleep for he knew who would of come.

A light finger moved across his brow and down his cheeks, feathery caresses that may not have waken him had he not already been awake. “I am sorry,” came the whispered voice, heavy with fatigue and pain.

He almost stiffened, his anger still fresh his pride demanding satisfaction. After all, he had refused Glorfindel’s offer to come earlier. What was an apology compared to all those night of grief, those hours that could have been spent doing what he wished and not reeling over this relationship?

Glorfindel’s light touch parted and he felt the blankets pushed back. Then, the golden haired elf climbed into bed with him, his damp cheek resting against Erestor’s bared shoulders. “I do not know what I will do if you turn from me... my love.”

The words were very faint and it was clear Glorfindel meant to stay here and rest with him. Erestor felt his hardened heart ease a little, for he did not wish to end their relationship, the pain and anger was not worth to him more than empathy and love. “You have done nothing unforgivable Glorfindel, nothing so terrible.”

Glorfindel stiffened and backed away as if to leave but Erestor was faster, his arms snaking around his lover’s waist and pulling him down.

The pale blue eyes peered at him as he opened his own. “You are awake.”

Erestor smiled weakly, taking a finger and wiping a tear from the pale cheek. “Indeed.”

The elven lord made another attempt to depart, but gave in when it became clear the embrace would not slacken. “I did not mean to disturb you.”

“And you haven’t.” Erestor turned to his side, the white pillow pressed against his cheek as he looked upon the weeping beauty. “In a world where darkness is strong, where in distant lands, others die in the streets of their homes for cruelty and betrayal... you have uttered nothing that should resound in my heart, not even during your coldest moments.” The truth of his words was not lost upon him, even if Erestor found it just as difficult to live by them.

Glorfindel was silent for a moment, his eyes downcast. “We spend more time arguing than anything else.”

Erestor kissed his brow, gently. “Maybe, but a minute of happiness outweighs hours of grief. You are alive, warm blooded... loved. I would choose that over something as unfeeling as anger, and a certain presentation you tried to foil.”

That made his lover laugh, and it was a beautiful, musical sound. “You looked so serious before us. I could not resist.”

Erestor smiled. “I would choose a friend over anything on paper or text, and you know how I value history. Behind every sentence, every letter there is a sentiment, feeling being. That is why I am drawn to the text, not its content, but the efforts of all those who came together to document one moment in time. I do not require flawless friends or lovers.”

Glorfindel closed his eyes and leaned forward kissing the counselor warmly. “I am flawed.”

“An orc named Glorfindel would be welcomed here for I do not care about his flaws. Let them come, do their worst, for I await the moment when he appears and greets me with that little smile.”

The golden haired elf smiled gently, placing small tender kisses on Erestor’s shoulder before returning his head there. “I am sorry I cannot...”

Erestor placed a single finger against his lover’s lips. “Shhh. Rest. For you are weary. Know that you have my forgiveness, in whatever you do even if in the heat of the moment, I grasp hate instead of love.”

The elven warrior relaxed, his fingers seeking and finding Erestor’s and entwining them tenderly. “Do not... do not let me keep you from your tasks...”

Erestor smiled and said nothing. He had no intention of continuing about his day as if someone he knew in life were not hurting, especially one he loved. But he had every intention of seeking out his lord this day.

[An Elven Lord’s Chamber]


Erestor left his bed and lover over an hour later, kissing the light brow and stepping out into the hall once he was properly dressed and prepared. For the first time in many decades, the dark haired elf was uncertain how to begin his day, and for once, duties did not come to mind. With only a thoughtful pause and a glance back at the sleeping form of Glorfindel, Erestor closed the doors to his personal quarters and found himself in front of Elrond’s chambers.

He could not help but frown, realizing there was no good way to get more information out of his lord, not without explaining how he had formed his suspicions. However, prudent or not, he would have to try. Rapping lightly on the door a couple of times, Erestor entered his lord’s chambers.

Elrond sat at his table, warm cider in one hand and a letter in another. The twilight haired elf looked up at Erestor after a moment and smiled, motioning for him to join him for a bit of morning refreshments. “Erestor. What a pleasant surprise.”

Erestor nodded respectfully and did as he was bid to do, sitting gracefully and pouring himself a bit of cider though, truth be told, it was not one of his favorite drinks.

“I am glad you came actually for I was to seek you out this afternoon.” Elrond continued.

“Oh?” He questioned, hiding his nervousness rather well. Could it be that he had been seen after all?

“Indeed, when Glorfindel is gone. I will need your help...”

“What?” Erestor interrupted, his heart beating too loudly to allow his mind to realize how unbecoming that really was.

Elrond eyed him a moment, calmly of course. “I have implored Glorfindel to take a message to Haldir of the Goldenwood and his kin. They are a rather disagreeable and difficult group. Glorfindel has a temperament that will work well in such a situation. Lothlorien’s general unkindness to all but their own is well known. You know this Erestor.”

“Yes but...” Erestor sighed and frowned. “Do not send Glorfindel. Send another my lord. It is not a good time.”

Elrond put his glass down, hands folding on the table. “You know I value your advice a great deal Erestor, but I must ask you why I should do this?”

Erestor found it difficult to look at the grey eyes directly. “I am afraid it is not for wisdom or strategy I ask this thing. It stems from a much more personal reason.”

The elven lord leaned forward, his smile warm as he spoke. “I know you two have had it difficult lately. The strain...”

Erestor stood suddenly. “Difficult is not even close to the word I would describe it Elrond. Glorfindel has been... Well...”

Elrond motioned for him to sit again. “Erestor, relax. I would do this thing that you ask, even without a solid reason for you have asked for so little over the years. It is only that...”

Erestor felt his heart leap into his throat. “Only my lord?”

“Only that Glorfindel requested the assignment and I granted it. How shall I tell him otherwise?”

Erestor’s anger arose quickly. “He asked to leave Rivendell. When did he do this thing? How could he after...”

Elrond clasped Erestor’s hand firmly, his voice soothing. “A few days ago, when you two were not speaking.”

The words did calm him a little, but his adrenaline was already going. “Has he asked to stay this travel, since then?”

The twilight haired elf shook his head. “No nor have we truly spoken since. Perhaps he has merely overlooked the arrangement.”

“Or he is using it as an escape if he needs it.” Erestor bowed briefly and squeezed his lord’s hand. “I must ask you to find another to fulfill my duties this day. There is something I must do. And, and perhaps I will not be able to continue the next either. I am sorry...”

Elrond stood and this time the Lord of Rivendell interrupted. “Do as you must Erestor and worry not about your tasks. I will do them myself if necessary. It is far past time you two worked this out.” He smiled, and not unkindly. “I have high hopes for you both.”

Erestor returned the smile weakly before loosing his lord’s hand and parting with soft swords. “So do I...”

“And Erestor.”

Erestor paused.

“Be certain to speak as well as listen.”

Erestor managed to nod once, not yet realizing what his lord meant.

He then spent the next several minutes fashioning a small letter, or really several though the first long winded drafts did not suit him well and he promptly burned them all. The elven counselor finally settled for a brief, if abrupt version.

*Meet me this day, this evening even for if you leave on the morrow without doing so there will be no us to return to.*

The words were heavy, lacking the emotion he truly felt, the plea that lay unuttered in the veins of his being, but they had to be strong else his golden lover would overlook their importance. And to make sure the letter was found, and with no mistake of to whom it was addressed, Erestor placed it on the door of Asfaloth’s stall.

Erestor then spent the rest of the afternoon preparing an area, a place where he might find everlasting joy or else wallow in his sorrow later that evening.

[Early Evening Confessions]

Erestor found his lover near the river, the starlight dancing of the golden haired warrior, making him almost shimmer in the night. He shimmered always, really, but Erestor took in the sight as if it were anew. For it could likely be the last time he ever gazed upon him as a lover. “You received my letter?”

Silence.

“You would... you would leave me...?” Glorfindel’s quiet voice finally came, the words and tone devastating.

Erestor turned away, glaring into the raging river, the anger beating loudly in his ear even as the grief stormed the fronts of his heart. “You do not trust me. Your heart is closed to me, and you say this is love? It is not Glorfindel. Love is stronger than this. Our friendship, you have, always, but my heart... it needs more.”

Glorfindel folded his arms, shaking his head, trying to be angry but Erestor knew there was more pain, almost panic than anything else.. “You say that I do not share with you, that my love, my desire to be with you is not enough. You say these things as if you do not do them yourself. What do I know of you Erestor? What do I have to hold onto but the fact you do not wish to be with me during the day, in public. It is almost as if you are ashamed of us... of me. Why should I not have an out from that?”

Ah yes. That again. That small request that opened up a dam of grief and remembered pain as easily as if it were a plea for far more than a dance or some public luncheon. You can do this, he told himself. Be strong, for it could lead to what he truly desired or merely open himself up for more heartache.

“You once said to me that you wished to have fun with me and that I would not let you.” Erestor smiled weakly, feeling the pain begin its faithful journey to his soul. “You were right. I have avoided fun for so long, for it is a source of pain for me.” The questioning gaze and his lover’s likely questions to follow encouraged him from even pausing, to speak smoothly and not think, not even choose the words, to just let them come, even as the tightness in his chest arose.

“When I was younger, other’s were fascinated with my love for history, my love for knowledge and how I could remember so much. But with all passion, there is flaw, there is that one thing that keeps the greatest minds from reaching their glory. My temper, my disdain for those who had no ear for voices of opposition soon drove the others away. It was not long before their avoidance of me turned into direct resistance. I was asked to leave and not come to the luncheons and to leave the dances to those who were better suited, more worthy of them.”

He drew a quivering breath, his eyes gazing directly into his lover’s colored globes. “You see I loved being amongst them, hearing their voices, seeing their joy and being apart of this small world away from all else. Even in anger, I would awaken the next day and could not wait to be a part of it. My heart shattered when they voiced their decision to keep me at bay. I could watch, if I wanted, but what is that but self torment, a reminder of what was lost to me?”

The tears swelled in his eyes and the tightness in his chest strengthened, making it hard to breathe, hard to think, even speak. “My voice it grew hoarse with begging, my tears ran dry from weeping and there were nights sleep would not come, my grief too great. I would hold my hand to my chest, my fist clenched tightly as if to seal the gaping wound, yet still it would not go away...” Erestor took a deep breath. “Good people can be cruel, they can be heartless Glorfindel. They cast me, from the joy, from what I took and made a part of myself. And still, I must see them, sit before them, speak with them as if they did not scar me, as if they did not take my heart and stomp upon it as if it were nothing.”

The counselor was not sure how he managed, but he continued to gaze into the pale blue eyes  of his lover, of the glorious golden haired warrior who stood before him in grave silence, perhaps mesmerized or horrified by Erestor’s own grief. “So you see, when you ask me to go out amongst them, when you implore me to join these games, the dances, the joys of creative minds, you ask me to overlook the pain I endured. To forgive when I myself have never been forgiven. How can I do this thing, when my heart cries blood just looking upon them?”

Glorfindel took his hand and opened his mouth to speak but Erestor would not let him. The dark haired elf continued, his voice weak, his chest tight again as if he had just now been cast out from the light, told to leave and not look back as if such a thing were possible. “I have bared myself to you. You have my love, my admiration, my respect and friendship, and now my grief. Give me something Glorfindel. Anything. I do not wish to walk away from this, from what we have tried to establish, but you must give me something to hold onto. Even the smallest bit confidence before you leave.”

Glorfindel’s fingers tightened around his own, and the golden haired elf spoke, in a faint and weak voice, a sound that was so vulnerable, so unguarded he would not have thought it possible. “I bear the weight and pain of a past time, of an age not forgotten but long since apart from those who remain. Glorfindel of Gondolin and of Rivendell are one of the same.” A slight intake of breath from the elven lord caused Erestor to remember to breathe himself.

“I...”

He rose his hand, silencing Erestor’s words. “Those memories haunt me and are left incomplete, scattered. I do not remember the early years of either life nor the family I must have once had.” Glorfindel smiled weakly. “We were not meant to be as I am, and because of it, there is no aid for me, nor healing to be done. The nightmares will always be and readily come when I let my guard down.”

Erestor could not ignore the hopelessness in his lover’s tone, the sound of defeat that none would have believed to be likely from such a gallant and noble elven warrior. His fingers lifted, brushing across the pale cheeks, his lips soon following. “Then we will grieve together and draw strength from our love.”

Tears escaped Glorfindel’s eyes, his bottom lip trembling. “Then you will not... will not leave me?” The disbelief resounded from the musical voice even as he wept, and it caused Erestor to weep himself.

The dark haired elf, eyes warm and tearful, let his fingers grasp his lover’s neck as he drew nearer. His lips pressed against Glorfindel’s; Erestor spoke. “You will always have my heart Glorfindel, melethron.”

[Warm Nights]

Erestor led Glorfindel into the small room he had prepared, a few halls down from his own. There had been no further words spoken between them though Glorfindel followed, the golden haired elf trusting him to lead them this one step further.  The dark haired elf paused at the doorway, his voice soft and gentle. “I took the liberty of having a dinner set for us, and a bed made for the evening, and for the morning. Do you believe this will be a good night for you?”

The pale blue eyes lowered a moment, and then the elven lord spoke. “No. It will not be.”

Erestor smiled gently, taking his lover’s hand as he turned the knob with the other. “Good.” He noticed the dread and questioning light enter the elven warrior’s colored globes, and spoke further to soothe the worry, to explain. “I wish to be here for you Glorfindel, in all your glory and your weakness, your pain.”

Glorfindel allowed himself to be led inside, his voice weary, tired even. “It will be difficult to rest with the noise I can create. The week has been long, painful, the month even. My strength may not be enough to stifle the...”

Erestor placed a finger over his lover’s lips. “Do not fret over such a thing. The rooms on the other side of these walls are not occupied, and you may find that the presence of someone who cares for you a great deal may ease your pains.”


“I’ve no desire to disturb you Erestor...” Glorfindel replied quietly.

Erestor’s grip on Glorfindel’s hand tightened, and without assuring his lover again verbally, he simply pulled the reluctant elf into the room with him.

It was not a large room, rather small actually compared to some of the guest chambers and storage areas of Rivendell. The floor was of a dark stained wood, repaired nicely but not fully restored for sometime. In the back was a dark queen-sized bed with white sheets and a navy blue comforter quilted with tiny forest green leaves and sporting four overstuffed down pillows. A small round table with two wooden chairs was located in the center with the nights feast displayed. Silver goblets, plates and ware were alongside a spiced apple cake, comice and bosc pears, vanilla and raisin pudding as well as fresh butter topped green beans and roasted stuffed bell peppers.  In a basket was a small mountain of wheat rolls and in a jar next to it, a large amount of honey with a wooden dipper.

Glorfindel’s eyes widened and he stepped forward, looking over the pleasant dinner, his fingers moving over the two long white candles in the center of the setting. “It looks very nice. A candlelight dinner as you have always wanted,” he whispered, his tone difficult to gage. The pale blue eyes looked to the large iced bucket housing not one but five bottles of various wines. “Is this not a bit much?” he hinted with a light smile.

Erestor returned the smile weakly and motioned for him to sit. “I was not certain how this night may turn out. There was extra just in case.”

The golden haired warrior took a seat. “I have never seen you drunk Erestor.”

He took the wine and opened it carefully, filling their goblets generously. “You have never seen me truly despaired,” he assured softly.

An uneasy silence settled as Erestor took a seat, and they both sipped the wine.

Glorfindel broke the silence first. “Honey and not jam. I thought the berry mixture was your favorite.”

Erestor smiled readily. “But honey is yours.” His heart nearly shattered when Glorfindel shook his head. How could he wrong? How could he have possibly misunderstood, after all the blonde did with that sticky substance? The perfect dinner, was not going well. He cleared his throat, forcing himself to speak. “I apologize. I assumed you adored it, I can certainly get jam.”

Glorfindel’s eyes brightened and a smile crept behind the silver goblet resting on his lips.

“What?” Erestor voiced, a bit annoyed and hurt.

“I enjoy honey fine.”

“Then why did you say this? If you love honey...”

“I do not love honey.”

“But you just said...”

Glorfindel interrupted smoothly. “It is not the honey that I love Erestor, but the reaction I receive from you when I do as I do with it.” For emphasis, the elven warrior picked up the little wooden dipper and drizzled a little on his tongue, rolling the golden mass around a bit before swallowing.

Erestor, of course, was bewitched, and despite his usually quick wits, he felt frozen in his seat, tongue-tied. “You mean...”

Glorfindel nodded. “It is the passion in you and the control you grasp onto so fully when I entice you so that I love Erestor, not the honey, though I too enjoy it.”

The dark haired elf look from the tempting feast the others prepared at his request and his lover, who continued to drizzle honey upon his tongue and on a roll he managed to break open at the same time, and made a decision. He stood smoothly, ignoring Glorfindel’s raising brow, and grasped his lover firmly by both shoulders, pulling him swiftly to his feet. His lips crushed his lover’s when Erestor ensued a fierce impassioned kiss, his fingers grasping the fine neck for support. “I want you here, and I want you now Glorfindel.”

Glorfindel moaned sweetly into Erestor’s mouth, the honey mingling between their seeking tongues. “As you wish.”

Their next movies were swift but anything but graceful as they stumbled back to the bed, nearly falling over each other’s legs and feet before Glorfindel’s back legs touched the mattress, and they both fell upon it.

Erestor tore at his lover’s clothing, his often careful and gentle fingers tearing apart the garments as if they were but paper, sending a couple of buttons flying across the room as he bared the light chest and captured the newly exposed nipples, sending a hiss of pleasure and surprise from Glorfindel’s lips.

When his fingers reached the elf’s breeches, Glorfindel’s suddenly gripped his wrist and tightly.  “Let me, they were a gift,” he moaned with a brief smile. With amazing agility, the elven lord slipped out from under the counselor and shed himself of the torn shirt and intact leggings gracefully, leaving himself kneeling bare upon the bed.

Silver eyes drank in the sight, hungrily, greedily as he too threw aside his robes and undergarments, letting them fall where he stood. “Lay down,” he voiced lowly, with a commanding tone that surprised them both.

Glorfindel eyed him a moment and then did as he was bid, laying down upon the dark comforter, his body relaxed and flushed, his arousal evident.

Erestor climbed upon the bed, his fingers eagerly exploring the familiar, beautiful body  displayed before him. “I love you so much Glorfindel, let me love you in every way a person can love. Can you do that for me?”

Glorfindel, his pale blue eyes watching Erestor’s every move, spoke quietly in turn. “I am here am I not.”

“You are indeed,” he murmured, taking the sweet lips again, this time tenderly, sweetly, his tongue seeking and finding the others. “There is so much that has been misunderstood, so much left to share.”

The blonde moaned quietly, nodding in reply as he lifted one knee slightly, moving his hips against Erestor’s meaningfully.

Erestor smiled and let his fingers move down the muscular abdomen and side. “Here I am saying something profound and all you wish is my body?”

Glorfindel grinned up at him. “It is not that I do not think you have nothing profound to say, but that something more profound can be felt if you do not speak.”

His body and heart was warmed by the reply. Had all Glorfindel wanted right now was a passionate union of bodies, he would have simply grabbed him right... Erestor gasped. There.
The strong fingers grasped his own hard length stroking his aching flesh gently. “Glorfindel,” he whispered softly.

“Yes?”

Erestor growled lowly, and pressed his shaft against the sturdy thigh firmly as he captured the teasing lips into a fiery kiss, nearly bruising the tender flesh while his fingers moved below as well, dancing between his own groin and that of his lovers, feeling the small silky golden hairs mingle with his dark ones. “You first...” He promised lowly as their lips parted. The elven counselor only peered at his lover’s questioning gaze before moving down the strong light body easily, grasping the aching length in his fist firmly and flickering his tongue across its tip. His reward was a sharp thrust and a strong gasp from Glorfindel.

The muscular pale thighs parted, readily exposing his vulnerable sex to its tormentor, allowing Erestor to see and grasped the sacs hiding below while his tongue traveled down the pulsing length.

Glorfindel grasped his dark strands tightly. “My love, not yet. Let me come with you. Please,” he pleaded quietly.

Erestor looked up, gazing into the beautiful globes peering down at him through half-closed lids. He licked the moist tip a few times and then pulled away. “Very well.”  Erestor reached under the bed and pulled out a small vial of fine oil, coating his fingers thoroughly while the others sought and found the tight entrance. The coated fingers entered the tight tunnel slowly, feeling each quiver of his lover and relishing the tiny gasps that came forth.

Normally, their unions were hurried and sometimes rough, and though Erestor intended to keep it rough and fiery, he wanted to prolong the experience a bit more this night, to grasp onto the moments for as long as they would allow. With this in mind, he withdrew his fingers only after he had the golden haired warrior moaning and writhing under the attentions.

“Erestor...”

He smiled a moment and moved fully atop his needy lover, letting his fingers twist and play with each nipple, gently, lovingly as his lips nipped at the tender area of Glorfindel’s throat. Then, Erestor positioned himself readily and thrust deeply into his lover’s heated haven, impaling him fully.

Glorfindel arched violently off the bed, his soft cry filling the room, wholly musical in its intensity.
He waited only a few moments for the strong body to adjust before riding the beautiful blonde steadily, ramming his pulsing rod into Glorfindel’s desirable form, rotating his hips for maximum depth.

Strong fingers bit into Erestor’s shoulders as Glorfindel clung to him, moving with each thrust, meeting even the smallest change of pace. Erestor grit his teeth, abandoning himself to the insurmountable amount of pleasure, each moan and gasp fueling his need and desire for this lovely creature who held his heart, his future.

Glorfindel turned his head to the side, pressing his cheek into the large pillow, small cries escaping from the depths of his being as he squeezed his eyes shut, his inner muscles contracting wonderfully around Erestor’s demanding shaft. “Harder,” he encouraged.

Erestor nodded, his dark strands damp with perspiration and his breathing deep, staggered. He flexed his muscles, burrowing into the wanting elf as he grasped the strong thighs for leverage. “Look at me.”

The pale blue eyes, shimmering with emotion, swirling with pleasure, gazed up at him, the puffy lips parted in a wordless cry as Glorfindel complied.

Erestor smiled, his silver eyes closing after a few minutes of returning his lover’s gaze. His body trembled, feeling the pressure climb to new heights, building steadily in his sacs and coursing through his veins.

The warm fluid signaled him of Glorfindel’s climax, after he nudged his lover’s pleasure spot, even before the elven lord’s voice filled the room, a sweet song of joy, of release. It was soon joined by Erestor’s own vocals, the dark haired elf filling his lover with his own essence.

They panted together, both eyes slowly opening, peering at one another as their sexes softened and their bodies relaxed, still joined.

“Close,” Erestor murmured as he rolled to the side.

“Close enough,” Glorfindel replied as he laid his head on his lover’s chest. “In time we will find our harmony.”

Erestor chuckled. “You think so?”

Glorfindel kissed Erestor’s nearby ear sending a shiver of pleasure through his lover’s body. “Naturally, we will have to if we are to dance at tomorrow's dusk gathering.”

Erestor could not prevent the sigh that came as he stood and covered their meal, lighting the candles beneath the chafing dishes and bringing their goblets and open bottle back to the bed. “Ah yes that.”

Glorfindel sat-up hesitantly. “Is it too soon?”

Erestor shook his head, looking away as he spoke. “No. If given leave, I would never face this. We must move forward together so I will go. But that does not mean they will accept me.”

He sipped the wine and offered his lover the same but Glorfindel was not interested, instead the golden haired warrior pulled him down onto the bed. “Rest at ease. We are together tonight, and on the morrow, we will face another challenge.”

Erestor nodded after a moment, placing his arms around Glorfindel’s shoulder and smiling when the blonde snuggled against him. He finished two glasses of wine, lost in thought before falling asleep despite himself.
**
Elrond moved about the table quietly, gathering the uneaten dinner and placing it on a cart. The grey eyes moved to the bed as he heard Glorfindel’s soft, pain colored voice. He moved almost instinctually to aid the troubled elf when he noticed Erestor had stirred. Though not awake, his counselor stroked his lover’s hair steadily. “Shhh,” came a quiet, soothing voice as well.

The Lord of Rivendell waited and watched, seeing Glorfindel press in closer to his lover, perhaps being calmed by the voice that reached his ear and the heartbeat that was steady beneath him. Whatever it was, the blonde cried out quietly a few more times and fell silent again, still asleep.

The twilight haired elf smiled after a few minutes, moving to their side and pressing his lips against both their brows. “I am here for you both,” he whispered.

Elrond then parted from the room, pushing the little cart along its way in the middle of the night.

[tbc]

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