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Para-News: January 24, 1997

ParaNews -- the Bi-Monthly Paranormal News Digest
January 24, 1997



Battle In Olympia Kills Four


Olympia, WA -- Downtown Olympia became a battle-zone as two of Washington's latest batch of young heroes, Jaguar and Retrofire, fought a small group of paranormals. Four people caught within the battle were killed.

According to several bystanders, a small group of paranormals were attempting to kidnap a young man who had been eating lunch at one of the local cafes. Jaguar and Retrofire happened to be in the area, and fought the attacking villains, but were unsuccessful in protecting the young man.

Of the four paranormal kidnappers, only one of them were identified, the apparent leader of the small team, Tempest. Tempest, known for his powerful weather control abilities, and his extreme paranormal supremacy beliefs, is wanted in connection with several crimes.

The name of the individual kidnapped by Tempest has not yet been released to the public, but sources in the Olympia police department claim that no ransom demands have been made.

The three paranormals who had fought alongside Tempest are unknown, but they include a young woman and two men. Apparently, the young woman had some kind of paralysis "ray" which she used to subdue Retrofire, and capture the man they had kidnapped. One of the men was a hulking man with superhuman strength, and the other was able to fly, as well as strike multiple blows on his opponents, within the span of a single second.

A memorial is being planned for the four individuals who had been killed in the combat, and the local paranormal Captain Infinity has expressed an interest in starting a fund for the families of the victims.



Sovereign Unveils New "Human Rights Act"


Panama City, PA -- In an unexpected, and politically stunning move, the Sovereign has enacted his "Human Rights Initiative," which restricts usage of the Panama Canal only to countries which comply to his newly published "Bill of Humanity."

The bill, distributed earlier in the week, outlines a multi-tiered standard of "social commitment" levels, which categorize a country's involvement in human rights issues, on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 = lowest, 5 = highest). Currently, the Sovereign is allowing countries with a minimum level of 2 passage through the canal, but he has vowed that once a significant amount of time has passed, allowing countries time to improve conditions within their boarders, the level of passage will be raised to 3, gradually increasing until the entire world falls in compliance with his "ideal" level of 1.

Already, the Sovereign's Human Rights Initiative has drawn angry responses from countries throughout the world, with appeals made to the United Nations by China, Iraq, Korea and South Africa, to name only a few. The U.N. is expected to review the Sovereign's Initiative, along with preceding documents that outlined the canal's usage, later in the week.

Currently, only China and Korea fall within the 5th level of human rights social commitment, and will therefore be the only countries denied usage of the canal. This restriction will include both governmental and private vessels.

The United States has a rank of 3, on the established scale.



Adapt OS Hits Internet: First Paranormal Designed Operating System


Silicon Valley, CA -- It was bound to happen eventually, and now that the time is finally here, no one is disappointment! The world's first, paranormal-created computer operating system, Adapt, has been released, and if only half of the claims are true, the computer industry is about to face a revolution.

Adapt, created by 14 year old super-genius, Franklin Joseph Ashburn, was uploaded onto the internet, for free, at 4:15 a.m., February 21, 1997. Unlike many applications uploaded to the 'net, the Adapt OS is not shareware, but a full-featured operating system, available for no cost.

"My hope was to provide individuals, world-wide, with an operating system that would allow them to better interact with their computers, as well as optimize the capabilities of today's personal computers," the young programmer said, in a press conference held in Silicon Valley. "I think that my approach is more intuitive than the other options on the market, and hope that people find it useful."

Ashburn claims that his operating system "observes" a user's work habits, and then actually adapts and learns to work in unison with the user, performing tasks that an individual normally does, automatically. A basic example of the technology utilized would be learning to print a document, immediately after saving, if the user usually performs this specific series of tasks.

Although the operating system comes with a fairly complete series of applications, for such functions as word processing and spreadsheets, Ashburn is planning a line of new programs that make the best use of his Adapt OS. Unlike the operating system, these applications are expected to be sold in stores.



Para-View: A Conversation With Patriot
By Kimberly Schmidt


The newly appointed Secretary of Paranormal Affairs, Lee Buchanan, who is more widely known as the hero Patriot, took time from his busy schedule to discuss his goals, his career, and the President, with Kimberly Schmidt.

Kimberly Schmidt (KS): First of all, congratulations on your new position in the cabinet.

Lee Buchanan (LB): Thank you.

KS: Did you find it odd that the President would assign the position to you? You don't have much of a background in politics.

LB: That's true, I'm not a politician, but as a paranormal, I feel that I can offer a valuable perspective to his cabinet. In the past, I have been rather outspoken about my viewpoints, and to some degree, I think that the President has come to respect that.

KS: So, do you see yourself as a more dynamic Secretary, because of your outspoken beliefs?

LB: Yes, I think I will be a more dynamic Secretary. When the position was created, during the President's first term, no one was sure of what kind of responsibilities would be included in the position. Although Mr. Robinson did a fine job, being a kind of guinea pig made it difficult for him to be effective. And, given his status as a pure-blood human, his perspective was somewhat limited. I applaud the job he has done, but I think I can make some improvements that should make things better for everyone.

KS: So, you think the job should only be limited to paranormals?

LB: No, I don't. However, I do feel that there is an element of experience available to paranormals, that is useful to this position, and any other positions like it.

KS: One of the responsibilities of G.H.O.S.T.'s chief administrator, Rod Albrecht, is working with the President on paranormal issues. Don't you feel that the position of Secretary of Paranormal Affairs is redundant, when considering Ghost Albrecht's active role with the President?

LB: No. G.H.O.S.T. is very much a military organization, regardless of its official status as a agency, as opposed to being an armed force, and it isn't as involved in social programs as it should be. It's role is more defensive and reactionary, than proactive.

KS: There are several programs that G.H.O.ST. has started that contradict that opinion, Mr. Buchanan. For example, G.H.O.S.T.'s Paranormal Youth Scholarship Fund has been a huge success in providing help to paranormal youths in need of financial aid, in continuing their education. Plus, the Militia has provided training to....

LB: The Militia is hardly a training team. Like the Minute-Men, it's a strike team, so it's potential as a social program is severely limited. And, at this point, the Paranormal Youth Scholarship Fund is only providing assistance to one paranormal child a year.

KS: But, there are plans to increase that number.

LB: Yes, and I fully applaud the attempts that G.H.O.S.T. has made in helping the paranormal population of the United States, but I feel more can be done.

KS: Mr. Buchanan, you say that you applaud G.H.O.S.T.'s efforts, yet you seem very opposed to that agency.

LB: I sincerely hope that isn't the case. As I said, I feel GHOST is doing a commendable job, but the government can do so much more. I hope that in my position as Secretary, I can start setting in motion additional programs, that will help America's paranormal population.

KS: I understand you were approached by Stephen Henninger, for a place in the new Minute-Men, and you turned his offer down. Why?

LB: Actually, Mr. Henninger and I only discussed the possibility. I was never offered a place on the team, but I wasn't interested in pursuing a place in the Minute-Men. The nature of the team doesn't really appeal to me.

KS: One last question... will your new post within the President's cabinet keep you from continuing you "career" as a superhero? Or, do you plan to continue your public service, as the hero Patriot?

LB: Right now, I don't know. We'll see what happens. A lot of it depends on the demands of the position.

KS: Thank you for your time, Mr. Buchanan.

LB: Thank you, Ms. Schmidt.


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