WHERE the GIRLS ARE

"Hello, pretty N.Y.C. girl, up in Harlem, down on Broadway--
You're no tramp but you're no lady--talking that street talk.
You're the heart and soul of New York City!
...Where is he? You saw him in a passing glance...
                                 The guy who'll come along
                                 To set you free from New York City!"
[ -- from the 1980s hit single "Native New Yorker" sung by Tina Charles -- ]

Ah, New York City: where girls come in all colors, all shapes and sizes, and your choice of genders. Here's a NON-STOP Girl-Guide.

SCHOOL for FLIRTING: Robin G. Newman and Susan Rabin teach this old art. Contact : http://flirting.nyc.pipeline.com/flirt [or rgnewman@pipeline.com].

LES DEUX GAMINS, 170 Waverly Place, serves European coffees and enough desserts to linger over as you flirt.

FASHION CAFE, 51 Rockefeller Plaza, was founded by some runway refugees. Dine on healthy fare as you hunt for a model wife.

LUCKY CHENG'S, 24 First Avenue, has Asian waitresses so mesmerizing that patrons crowd in to feast their eyes as much on the help as on the fusion cuisine. "Dragbox" every night in the dining room; drag cabaret in the goldfish pond: [212] 473-0516.

NEXT MANAGEMENT, 40 Thompson Street, announced their "Find Me a Model" contest sponsored by Request Jeans. Know anyone with modeling potential? You could win $50,000. Agency owner Faith Kates just launched a web site and cyber-serial: "The Loft": http://www.next models.com

JACKIE 60 is a Tuesday-only event with parties on West 14th Street in the meat packing district. The Jackie Factory states it's "a club for dominant women, poets, gay men, lesbians, fetish dressers, transsexuals, transvestites, and their friends. If you have a problem with that, don't come in!" Enjoy InterJackie online: http://www.echonyc.com/~interjackie/jackie 60/60.html

CLUB EDELWEISS meets next to Market Diner on 11th Avenue off West 43rd Street, boasting that it's the only transgenderist club in Manhattan with its own parking lot and valet. The Village Voice and other N.Y.C. papers list their dates, times, and theme parties for transsexuals, drag queens, and those who enjoy disco and a lively bar scene.

"NATIONAL MISTRESS DAY" is celebrated mid-March. To find out what events will be staged in Manhattan, contact Sextopia's editor: webslave@web-depot.com

LEE'S MARDI GRAS BOUTIQUE & BOOKS, 400 West 14th Street, 3rd floor, NYC [212] 645-1888 has all a glamour girl could possibly want. Orders: 1brews7408@aol.com

BLACK SHEEP, 344 West 11th St., serves stylish meals for gals and those who love them.

MEOW MIX, 269 E. Houston St., is quite PURR-fect for some tastes.

HER/SHE BAR, 229 W. 28th St., stages strip contests and "girls just wanna have fun" theme parties.

W.O.W. BAR, 248 W. 14th St., offers after-work parties for women as well as scheduled entertainment.

BEAUTY BAR, 231 E. 14th St., once the "Thomas Beauty Salon" [and still swinging its old sign], retained the vintage hairdressing equipment. Sip cocktails under hairdryer bubbles while listening to retro pop and checking out all the ladies lounging.

CLIT CLUB meets at Mother [a.k.a. Bar Room], 432 W. 14th St. for a dive into downtown debauchery.

RADIO CITY MUSIC HALL's ROCKETTES keep alive the art of synchronised dancing. Their famous chorus line -- with its de rigueur high kicks -- displays a leg show second to none: 1260 Sixth Ave. [at W. 50th St.]. For tickets to a stageshow or backstage tour: [212] 247-4777.