New York City has over seven million residents; of these, 1.3 million
males are bachelors and 1.8 females are single. As you see, we don't
mate in captivity. Obviously, it's easy to come across New Yorkers
who are unmarried. Here we have over three million unwed adults and
two-thirds have never applied for a marriage license. Meeting
is one thing, though, and starting a relationship is another.
Since most New Yorkers feel inherently superior to people anywhere else,
you might think that these individuals in Manhattan who share such a similar
outlook would find it easy to connect. In fact, gay and lesbian residents
are more likely to be happier with the romantic opportunities this city offers
than their heterosexual counterparts: 44% of gays polled recently by
New York Magazine said meeting a partner in NYC is less difficult
than anywhere else, while 49% of straight singles insisted it was much
harder to meet someone in The Big Apple.
Meeting the right kind of person is an obstacle, say some, but many
unattached adults insist that what's even harder is maintaining a
relationship here. "Most people in this city are insane," you'll hear.
Dating is "difficult" -- a word people use a lot. There isn't
enough time in the average New Yorker's day to go hunting for that suitable
soulmate. And nurturing a budding romance can be as time-consuming
as running for public office. One reality is that everything and everyone
in New York is on over-drive. Most single women complain that
gentlemen, equally caught in this time-crunch, like to turn any girlfriend
into a part-time "go-fer." Women, feeling that most relationships will
not lead to marriage anyway, are reluctant to invest in that kind of
self-sacrifice -- not when it may short-circuit self-development (or compromise
the leisure a lady might have to try on more designer shoes).
Then there's the time-honored NYC tradition of the credential swap, which
can kill off Cupid real fast. The first question any New Yorker
will ask is: "What do you do?" And the Q-and-A only gets worse from
there. Manhattanites are basically all seeking the same thing: a mate
who will enhance their image -- in others' eyes as well as their own.
Happiness is not the goal of New York City relationships.
Visibility is more like it.
Did you think instead the goal was money? You will never understand
New Yorkers then. When real estate tycoon Donald Trump split with his
first wife, Ivana, she took up with a handsome Italian-born multi-millionaire.
Donald, who could neither fault the Mediterranean gentleman on his
beauty or his bank balance, subtly slammed him in the news with this typically
New York overview: "Sure, he's rich. But nobody knows who
he is!" Ivana's marriage to Mr. Continental Nobody was
finito within months.
In the city that never sleeps the radar is intense. "People of this
city have obscenely advanced cultural radar," noted one author, "feeding
in data about where you live, where you went to school, the labels you're
wearing, your precise place on the social food-chain. In such
a status-conscious milieu, the best partner is one who can demonstrate that
you indeed have it all." Someone whose pedigree will land you both
as the featured wedding of the week in Sunday's New York Times, for instance.
Oh, sure, sure, some of these are inflated standards of excellence
and they drive people to all sorts of cold calculation as they network their
way around the "Meet Market."
It can't be helped.
The nature of New York is that it's all about the hyper-real, hitting the
heights, the infinite potential, that peerless opportunity that each
Gotham-dweller feels completely entitled to. That steely look that's
assessing you means you're being factored into an individual's plans
for world domination even within the first few minutes of first meeting;
that's all the time you'll get with most cynical New Yorkers before
you're mentally "crossed off the list." To be realistic about
weighing your chances for success is to live elsewhere.
This is a city built on hope and blind ambition, where more make-up for men
is sold than anywhere else, and where more face-lifts are seen crossing the
thresholds of places where people congregate for a "power lunch."
For all that, couples do connect, decide to say "I do," and register at
Tiffany's. This section is to help fan your fantasies about meeting
and marrying in New York. If Cupid is out there, you can bet he's working
overtime in Non-Stop New York.
Let your lovesong begin.
|| Love
Potions ||
Food of
Love ||
Unique Ways
& Places to Meet in NYC ||
|| Say "I
Love You" 100 Ways ||
For Lovers Only
|| Dark
Bars || Meet Rich Women ||
|| N.Y. Kisses || Lip Tips || Model Mouths ||
Kiss Poems
|| Glamour
Girls ||
|| Ethnic Weddings ||
Where to
Say "I Do" ||
Bride
Guide ||
Gown Guide
||
|| Non-Stop
Love Map || Non-Stop
N.Y. Home Page
||
A Designated
Single's
Stop
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