Title:  Aw...Nuts!

Author: OXBastetXO  

Category:   Humor

Spoilers:   Brocca Divide

Sequel/Season Info: First season

Rating:  G

Content Warning: None..just silly

Summary:  When the team is left waiting for a debriefing, a nut bowl proves quite  a challange.

Showtime and MGM/UA owns Stargate: SG-1 and all there in. I'm just borrowing them for a bit, and I promise to give them right back when I'm done.  Well, most of them, I might just keep Jack and Daniel for a bit longer.

Aw...Nuts!

by

OXBastetXO

"Aw, for crying out loud!"

"What's the matter, Jack?"

"Stupid nut cracker, won't...nuts!"

"Daniel Jackson, why is Colonel O'Neil throwing the nuts on the floor?"

"I'm not throwing them on the floor. Nut cracker doesn't work right."

"Um, Jack. You know there is a simpler way to shell those things."

"Oh, and what would that be? Daniel! What are you doing with that paperweight?"

"Some times the more primitive way is still the best."

*Wham*

"There. Want a pecan?"

"Looks more like pecan butter."

"Oh, yeah, it does kind of smash them up."

"Let me guess, you got that off some tribe in the Andes."

"Actually, no. Um, well. You remember that time I got carted off by the 'Touched'?"

"I'll think I'll stick to my way. Come back here!"

"What are you guys...Eeww, what is that?"

"Pecan. Want some, Sam?"

"No, thanks, I'll pass. Where'd you get the nuts?"

"They are General Hammond's."

"He said to help ourselves while we wait for him. He got called away. We'll finish up with the debriefing when he gets back."

"Oh, come on!"

"Jack, having a problem?"

"What's it look like Captain? Somebody fouled nut cracker thing up."

"Let me take a look. *crack* Seems to work for me."

"Show off."

"Excuse me, Colonel?"

"Nothing."

"I still like my way." *Wham* "Walnut any one?"

"Uh, no thanks, Daniel. I prefer my nuts in one piece, not thousands."

"At least, I can get them shelled, Jack."

"Watch it, Daniel."

*Crunch*

"This does not appear to be all that difficult."

"Whoa! Did you see that?"

"What, Sam?"

"Teal'c just crushed that thing in his hand."

"Did they have nut crushing in that Jaffa training of yours, Teal'c."

"No, but nuts grow in abundance on Chulak."

*Crunch*

"Remind me not to get Teal'c mad at me."

*Crack*

"Hey, finally!"

*Wham*

"Almond?"

"Joy."

"Oh, very bad, Colonel."

"Yeah, whatever."

*Crunch*

"Daniel Jackson, what is this type of nut?"

"It's a hazelnut, Teal'c."

"The nut is named after a woman?"

"Yeah, Teal'c. Just like we got us a Daniel-nut."

"Hey!"

"Now, Daniel, just put that paperweight down."

"I hope I'm not interrupting."

"General Hammond."

"Would someone like to tell me why half of the nut bowl is on the floor?"

"Aw, nuts!"

*fin*

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