Pak'ma'ra saying: "Pak'ma'ra, all same, all different.""The Official Guide to Babylon 5" CD
Last updated 2/6/01 - some 
"punnies," Steve Austin watch.
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What you'll find here:
Career update on Stephen Austin. Two new links posted. If you want to contribute anything to this website, please mail ideas and comments to: me here.
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I would currently like to have:
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This proves that the Pak'ma'ra truly are the best!
From: "Joseph DeMartino" (Joseph-DeMartino@worldnet.att.net) Please do NOT post serious ideas to this thread. The following is for
entertainment purposes only:
I think we're all limiting our speculation too much. JMS hinted at multiple projects in the works. Why does everybody assume that the only network he's talking to is Sci-Fi? What about these possibilities?
C-SPAN 2:
"Live Coverage of the Interplanetary Alliance Council Meeting" (time
approximate)
COMEDY CENTRAL
"Londo and G'Kar: Odd Couple III"
"Marcus Cole: Interplanetary Man of Mystery"
"Security Squad! (In Color)" with Sgt. Zack Allen
"I Love Lennier"
"With Six, You get Eggroll" (TV movie remake with Vir Cotto)
THE FOOD NETWORK
"Pak'mara Live"
"Cooking with Lennier" (36 hour mini-series)
THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL
"The Garibaldi Files" (true crime)
"Interior Motives 2268" (with the designer from CRUSADE: "Appearances and Other Deceits")
"Your New Spaceship" with Michael Holigan XII
ESPN2:
"Monday Night Mutai!"
HGTV
"Delenn's Zen Garden"
"This Old Planet" (Home Improvement tips. Hosted by the Brothers Zathras.)
Regards,
Joe
From: "ArsenicMan" (ArsenicMan33@hotmail.com)Please note: the following is all meant in good fun, and means no disrespect in any way to JMS. Now, onwards...
It was the dawn of the third age of bearkind, ten years after the Minbeari-Human War. The Babearlon Project was a dream given form. Its goal: to prevent another war, by creating a place where Minbeari and aliens could work out their differences peacefully. It's a port of call, home away from home, for diplomats, warriors, entreprenuers, and evil ones. Minbeari and aliens wrapped in 2,500,000 tons of spinning fluff, all alone in the night.
It can be a dangerous place, but it's our last, best hope for peaceful co-existence. This is the story of the last of the Babearlon stations. The year is 2258. The name of the place is Babearlon 5.
The Babearlon Project was our last, best hope for peaceful co-existence. A self-contained world five miles long, located in neutral-ish territory. A place of commerce and diplomacy, for a quarter of a million Minbeari and aliens. A fluffy beacon in space, all alone in the day. It was the dawn of the third age of bear-kind, the year the Great War came upon us all. This is the story of the last of the Babearlon stations. The year is 2259. The name of the place is Babearlon 5.
The Babearlon Project was our last, best hope for peaceful co-existence. It failed. But in the years of the Straczynski War, it became something greater; our last, best hope for victory. The year is 2260. The place: Babearlon 5.
It was the year of fire. The year of destruction. The year we avenged the one of us who had died. It was a year of unforunate rebirth. A year of great happiness. A year of pleasure, and a year of joy. It was a new age. It was the end of PTEN. It was the year Babylon almost got cancelled. The year is 2261. The place: Babearlon 5.
And so it begins...
There's a hole in JMS's mind...
What did he want of us?
No exec producer is exactly what they appear...
Nothing's the same anymore...
Our Emperor's been shoved out an airlock.
Why don't you eliminate the entire Minbeari homeworld while you're at it?
He had a great hand, reaching out for the stars...
Who is he?
Evil Straczynski has signed a decree today, declaring martial law...
That human has forced us to declare independence.
Weapons! That's what-
Why don't you get off your encounter-suited butts and do something?
He is the One who was...
Think of our beautiful fluff in flames...
Like giants in a playground...
Now get the Hell out of *our* galaxy!
We are here to place JMS under arrest.
Andrew Timson
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It's our last best hope for peace? We're *so* screwed.
For anyone interested, I had an email from Stephen Austin (Pak'ma'ra ambassador) and snipping out the unrelated bits, feel it's okay to paste it here:
>The play is a musical. THE GOODBYE GIRL. Remember the
Sonny (who feels it is not inappropriate to mention here that I will be replying something along the lines of visions of Pak'ma'ra's in tutus (though of course, we know they can sing well {G})
Here's another thought: Once the Soul Hunters finish with the deceased, the body (so they claim) is an empty shell. Do the Soul Hunters fund their operations by running a Pak'Ma'Ra catering service? For that matter, do the Pak'Ma'Ra notify the Soul Hunters of impending deaths in exchange for coordinating the wake?
This comic strip is by Angela M. Taylor from the Official B5 magazine, issue 11.
![[Official B5 mag. issue 2.11]](http://members.aol.com/pnr9790/b5crtnpk.jpg)
Did you hear about the Pak'ma'ra/Drazi War? It was terrible. The
Pak'ma'ra tossed hand grenades at the Drazi and the Drazi pulled the pins
and threw them back.
(That one's George's, this one's mine).
Why did the Pak'ma'ra cross the road?
The roadkill was on the other side.
from George & Lynn Dimock on CiS's B5 forum
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Actually I am begining to think syndication may not be altogether a bad thing for the Crusade. Of course HBO would be my choice with syndication .... Of course the obligate token Nudity would just be weird ... The thought of a Naked Pakmora just makes me queasy. Curt (eskridge@erols.com) |
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Who would have suspected the Pak'Ma'Ra were Jewish?
I bet when we can't hear their translations they are probably busy saying stuff like:
"You should eat more. Here, have some Drazi. No?
Well, you should have some Narn."
"Grandma, I'm not hungry."
"Of course you are. Centauri?"
And of course (episode reference: Secrets of the Soul, fifth season):
"Did you hear that Sheila went to see that nice boy, Stephan?"
"The Doctor?"
"Yes, the Doctor!"
And before anyone takes offense, I'm Jewish. (Well, maybe not in Israel...) and I thought this was funny.
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Subject: Re: McBari's : About that logo and slogan.... : Uhm...the '25 species served'... : is that as customers or cuisine? |
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No, no, you're thinking of "Pak'ma'ra in a Box"... Man, they make some ugly antenna balls...
Peter Wykoff Walker II
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(RE: Darkness Ascending)
>I was ROFL when G'kar had to ask her which part of the proposition she was accepting? Great stuff!
> I've heard that there was sexual tension on the set that day that you could cut with a knife.
> And it came through on screen, too.
Circumcisions for everybody! Ismal for Sheridan, pinking shears for the Narns, chainsaws for the Drazi, Gatling power-whittler for Londo, and a ceremony with Ginzu blades for the Minbari.
Scraps go to the Pak'ma'ra as a McBari's Happy Meal.
Uncle Al
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From: WWS <wschmidt@tyler.net>
FYI, Pac Maria played the lead in the all Pak'Mara production of "West Side of the Galaxy Story". She was in love with a nice Minbari boy named To'Ni, whose family was violently opposed to the union, and determined to oppose it by force. They thought she wasn't good enough for him, in fact thought her family was running down values in that corner of the galaxy.
The musical numbers included "One Hand, Three Hearts"
"Tonight! Tonight! We'll eat dead flesh tonight!"
and "Maria! I've just met a carrion eater named Maria!"
<*> __________________________________________________WWS_____________
Have you heard this one: What's a Pak'ma'ra word for a good teep?
A Psi-corpse!!!
How about this one: Why is a Pak'ma'ra dinner like a rowdy soccer meet?
There's always carrion on ....
Contributed by Dennis J. Cunniff
Here's another riddle: What kind of luggage does a Pak'ma'ra take on vacation?
"Carrion," of course!
(From "The Zocalo Today")Stephen Austin the wonderful Pak'Ma'Ra ambassador from Babylon 5, is playing "Herr Zeller" in the Canyon Club Dinner Theatre's production of "The Sound of Music". The theatre is located in Agoura Hills, California. The play will run from February 3 to March 11, 2001.
At the Dragon*Con convention in sunny Atlanta, Georgia (June 29-July 2), Steve Austin was one of several B5 guests, as well as actors, producers, writers, and fans of many other sci-fi/fantasy shows. During the B5 panel on Sunday, he shared that his newest project is filling the second male lead (Mike the Director) in the musical version of "The Goodbye Girl." He didn't seem too confident about the prospect of singing and dancing on stage before an audience, but I'm sure he'll do a great job!
Steve also participated in an interview with Mike Helba, the Babylon 5 guide at About.com - you can read the interview here.
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A Pak'ma'ra military transport as shown in "Lines of Communication," Season 4. Thanks to Becky Murphy. |
Pak'ma'ra and B5-related links:
GWARBCO Studios Press Kits - another innovative company making humorous B5 movies.
B5/Crusade Cartoons and Parodies are sure to tickle your funny bone! Links to many sites dedicated to B5 humor, including Plenty O' Pak'ma'ra!
The Official Stephen Austin Page - Where do you go to get info on the Pak'ma'ra actor (besides here, of course!). Well, a good bet is the "official" page - a work in progress right now, but with merchandise and info soon to come!
B5 Cats - our favorite characters "go feline." It's really funny - go check it out!
DelennToo's B5 Stuff - a collection of B5 character sketches, cartoons, and the home of the B5 page-a-day calendar.
Precedence Publishing Babylon 5 CCG site.
Geidi Prime Science Fiction and Fantasy Fonts - includes Babylon 5 fonts.
Becky Murphy's Spoiler Junkies Page - Synopses and advance information on Babylon 5 episodes, but also a great source for Babylon 5 merchandise information and B5 images.
Down-Below Sound Archive for Babylon 5 - only *the* BEST source of B5 sound waves!
The Official Home Page of Babylon Park - a hilarious combination of Babylon 5 meets South Park, including an interview on the TGN network conducted by a Pak'mor'an in a thong bikini!
Our favorite Vorlon has his own website - stop by and say "hello" at his WWW message board!
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Our first "wanna-be" is none other than the Great Maker himself, Joe Straczynski: CHAT: Is there one character with whom you most closely identify? JMS: For me, it's probably the pak'ma'ra.. though I would hope I could be any or all of them as needed. Certainly there's a lot of Londo and Delenn in me (and it keeps leaking onto the floor). |
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From NORANIK, who is "Impressed with the 'Children of God'...." I would be very pleased to help in anyway possible with your activities on behalf of the Pak'Mah'Rah, the "Children of God". The carrion eaters are unique to Babylon Five experience, and they explore new areas of social and species adaptation for those interested in truly alien species. It was good to see them enlisted in the Army of Light, the An'la Shok or Rangers, and that their special talents were recognized and used by the Rangers. I have always liked the Pak'Mah'Rah, even when they were simply known as the carrion eaters. When one was interviewed this season and stated some of their beliefs and customs, such as referring to themselves as "Children of God " etc, I was convinced they were worthy of further exploration and attention. I suspected that they were a "Chosen People" and that their cultural model could have been based in part on the Jewish model. I think they are more like Ancient Jews than the modern variety, perhaps like those found in isolated communities in East Africa and the Middle East ( Ethiopia , Algeria etc.) They do not seem interested or overly fond of commerce or of material possesions so they are probably not like the modern culture associated with Israeli and Western traditions of Europe. |
![[Pak'ma'ra ship]](pakship.jpg)