Dan Millman at Towne Square 2000!!!

Towne Square 2000 is proud to welcome our very special guest, Dan Millman!

Moderator: Does your life sometimes feel like a puzzle with pieces missing or a journey without clear purpose or direction? Our special guest today is best-selling author, Dan Millman. And he's here to talk about his latest book, Everyday Enlightenment: The Twelve Gateways to Personal Growth.

Dan's insights build the bridge between where we are now and where we want to be, by learning to pay attention to the practical teachings of every day life... He guides us step by step through issues like money, sex, health, love and fear... paving a path where we stop sabotaging ourselves... where our everyday lives become a journey and an adventure.

Dan Millman is a former world champion athlete, college professor and best-selling author whose eight books, including The Way of the Peaceful Warrior and The Life You Were Born to Live, have inspired millions of people in more than twenty languages. Dan, welcome to Towne Square!!

Dan Millman: One day the question occurred to me .. what does the phrase personal growth mean? The answer when it appeared took the form of 12 areas of life, 12 "Gateways" that each of us must eventually pass through if we are to finish the game and graduate from the school of life. These Gateways are as follows:
  • DISCOVER YOUR WORTH
  • RECLAIM YOUR WILL
  • ENERGIZE YOUR BODY
  • MANAGE YOUR MONEY
  • TAME YOUR MIND
  • TRUST YOUR INTUITION
    		•
  • ACCEPT YOUR EMOTIONS
  • FACE YOUR FEARS
  • ILLUMINATE YOUR SHADOW
  • EMBRACE YOUR SEXUALITY
  • AWAKEN YOUR HEART
  • SERVE YOUR WORLD
    • The higher purpose of these 12 Gateways is to point us to daily life as a spiritual school. For one thing, they redefine the meaning of success and fulfillment. Most of us think of success as mastering the 4th Gateway dealing with money and career, but many people who earn a great deal of money or have a great career realize this is only part of the picture.

    Success consists of mastering and confronting the issues of all 12 arenas of life. When we do, we experience a far deeper state of fulfillment opening up the possibility of everyday enlightenment.

    Moderator: Can you define what you mean by "enlightenment"?
    Dan Millman: I wrote Everyday Enlightenment in order to bring enlightenment where we live...down to earth. To many of us enlightenment seems like a "pie in the sky" type of state referred in various traditions as total happiness... absolute peace... bliss... unity... God-realization. But what these terms have in common are they point to a place far away in some vague hopeful future, so that enlightenment seems like something that happens only to a few mystics.

    In Everyday Enlightenment I present a radical yet realistic practice anyone can engage at any moment. But in order to do so we have to explore the issues of the 12 gateways.

    Foxy: Do you confront the 12 gateways simultaneously or sequentially?
    Dan Millman: In real life, in everyday life, each of us encounters issues of the various gateways at different times. We might wake up in the morning and decide whether or not to exercise which puts us squarely in the 2nd Gateway .. Reclaim Your Will, as whenever we deal with issues of motivation and turning what we know into what we do.

    Without going into too many examples, each of us encounters these gateways in our own unique way. But all of us deal with these issues, if not every day or week or month...certainly every lifetime. By the way...no gateway is more important than any other except that it may be more important to you or me in a particular time in our lives...and once one has read through Everyday Enlightenment he or she can face these gateways more consciously with eyes wide opened, and will have the tools to resolve the issues that they face.

    Foxy: So the exact order depends on which experiences we have. How does success or failure in one affect the others?
    Dan Millman: Let's take the first Gateway...Discover Your Worth. The reason I put this gateway first is because self-worth is far deeper in our consciousness than what we normally think of as self esteem. Whereas self esteem reflects how we feel about ourselves, good or confident, self worth goes deeper into our fundamental sense of value or "worth" -- the degree to which we believe we are deserving of life's many opportunities.

    As Rama Krishna once said: "An ocean of abundance can fall from the heavens, but if we're only holding up a thimble that's all we're going to get."

    So in answer to Foxy's question, our degree of self worth clearly influences and impacts the flow of money that we will allow into our lives...influences our relationships and the choices we make in education and fundamentally how we treat ourselves.

    Likewise, Reclaiming our Will, the 2nd gateway, helps us to make better use of all the other gateways including as I show in the book....Awakening Our Hearts.

    Moderator: In Reclaim Your Will, you write that we begin using our will when we stop waiting to be motivated. Can you elaborate?
    Dan Millman: Motivation, like any feeling, comes and goes. I've never personally met anyone who is motivated all the time or at the same level. Motivation can be as fickle and changeable as the weather. It's wonderful when we feel motivated and in this chapter I relate several ways to enhance motivation by explaining where it comes from and how it works. But ultimately, we can rely on our WILL .. in fact we must draw upon our will when motivation is lacking. There is nothing mystical or superhuman about this. All of us have done it.

    When we go to school, do our homework, go to work on Monday mornings whether or not we happen to feel like it, ... that's what brings out the best in we human beings...by remembering and reclaiming our will to do what needs to be done despite whether we feel motivated or not. This approach seems more useful to me than trying to drum up motivation before we will act.

    Moderator: We all deal with money issues, especially now at tax time ;-) In what way can money be a gateway to enlightenment?
    Dan Millman: A very good question and most welcome, because it involves a much larger issue and higher purpose of all 12 gateways. So in responding to the question, let's look at the bigger picture for a moment, pull our heads out of the tax manuals, and consider an old proverb that says "there's god, then there's not paying attention"

    We are surrounded by Spirit, by beauty and by wonders of all kinds. Yet we often fail to notice or recognize these things because our attention is trapped in issues of these 12 gateways. Coming back to the topic of money, it becomes much more difficult to contemplate God or even notice the beauty of the world around us when we're lost in the pages of a tax book or if the car breaks down and we don't know how we're going to pay for the repair.

    Money itself is not spiritual but neither is it antagonistic to spiritual life. Money is neither God nor devil, but a form of energy and functional demand of life. Managing our Money does not necessarily involve or require that we become rich...nor does it require that we give all our money away to others. Rather it means providing a service to others, and doing whatever it is we need to do -- whether getting more education, or bringing forth our energy and creative gifts -- so that we achieve sufficiency and stability in the financial area. This frees our attention and provides a foundation for a more spiritual, as well as functional, life.

    In this chapter, I address the programming, the negative programming, many of us have about money, especially as it relates to spiritual ife. Once we examine our hidden and often limiting assumptions and beliefs about money, we open the way to resolving and fulfilling this gateway.

    Arctic Frost: I agree, I have found such contentment ever since I stopped being 'wealthy'
    Dan Millman: I may be misunderstanding the comment....but one doesn't have to stop being wealthy in order to be free of money concerns. Getting rid of our possessions and mistaking that for "detachment" does not make us more spiritual. It only makes us more poor. I would like to make millions of dollars so that I can donate all that energy to organizations that are doing good in the world.

    Arctic Frost: Nope, I more meant the thought of being 'wealthy' the strive for money. And now I am content with the strive for happiness instead...And still have plenty of money, snicker

    Dan Millman: Thank you for clarifying that...I agree completely. If we strive for service then money follows. But striving for money in itself, as you have discovered, is like an athlete striving for trophies rather than peak performance.

    Tandika: All of the gateways are pretty self-explanatory, but what is "Illuminate your Shadow?
    Dan Millman: What a lovely question. It is almost as if you're reading my mind...This is an issue I like to explain. I was telling our mail carrier about the 12 gateways when I was writing the book, and her response was the same. She nodded her head as I told her the first 8 gateways, but when I came to "Illuminate Your Shadow" she looked puzzled.

    This gateway may, for many of us, be one of the most impactful and powerful. In brief, I can say this ... Our shadow has nothing to do with Darth Vader. It simply represents qualities or parts of ourselves -- parts which make us whole -- that we have disowned or rejected. They are not necessarily bad parts, but they may seems so to us...

    For example, someone raised in a pacifist household which disapproved of aggressiveness may disown or reject the assertive part of themselves, or the mischievous part, so that he or she becomes "only good' or "only peaceful" Such a person worries me! Because no one is peaceful and good all the time. And those parts of us that we reject have ways of emerging as unpleasant surprises.

    Likewise someone who might be a gang member may push into their shadow area parts of themselves that are vulnerable, nourishing and sensitive that may appear as "weakness". By seeing and accepting ourselves as we are with all our psychological warts and quirks we free up immense energy previously used to defend a false self image and we also gain great compassion for ourselves and for others.

    Tandika: Thank you for clarifying that!

    Member 1410: So is this "shadow" that you speak of similar to Carl Jung's shadow side theory?
    Dan Millman: Absolutely. In the 10th gateway "embrace your sexuality" we also face our own sexual shadows -- parts of ourselves, or fantasies, or quirks -- that we hide even from ourselves and that hold us back from being authentic. Embracing our sexuality really means embracing and accepting ourselves as we really are. It also means finding a healthful balance between our puritan and hedonist sides. So embracing our sexuality is not about denying or exploiting our natural sexual drive, but rather channeling our life-positive energy in constructive creative ways, in a spirit of celebration and intimacy ... true intimacy.

    This may sound idealistic but it's actually quite practical and opens the way to the 11th gateway...awakening our hearts.

    Foxy: So embracing your sexuality successfully isn't defined as any level of sexual activity, but rather a balance of passions and desires?

    Dan Millman: Yes.

    Since there is no "right amount" of sexual activity, the activity itself will vary from person to person, couple to couple. But right use of sexuality does involve connecting our genitals to our heart.

    Participants who are tuned in may want to ask themselves whether they tend towards a more puritan or hedonist disposition and whether they truly and freely, without shame or embarrassment, embrace their sexuality. Anyone can feel "sexy" but mature human sexuality becomes deeper and more profound than getting it on or getting off.

    Member 1410: So what you are saying is sex should never be used for "recreational" purposes only....but there should be "heart" between the two lovers?
    Dan Millman: There's a saying that even when sex is bad it's still pretty good.

    We were given erogenous zones with sensitive nerve endings to experience full and ragged pleasure. I am not in any way trying to put a damper on pleasure. We tend to do that by ourselves. Eroticism certainly has a place in our lives, everyone likes to get really turned on and have "great sex". It's just that the more mature we become, the deeper and more expansive that pleasure becomes.

    Moderator: So Dan, do you practice what you "preach" ??
    Dan Millman: Another good question. The answer is yes I do. But if the question were have I mastered every gateway or do I have it all down perfectly, the answer is certainly not. If I waited for perfection in all the gateways I would never write the book. I am a student .. a student of life like everyone else. But I am sincerely practicing so that I can retain spiritual authority to share what I've learned.

    Foxy: The emphasis there is on "practice"
    Tandika: So you are saying that one will probably NOT master all the gateways, but it is the striving that is important?
    Dan Millman: Well said. Enlightenment is more like slowly turning up a dimmer switch, although many people think of it as flicking on a light. So while we live we're engaged in a continual learning process. We don't simply "know" something, we come to know it deeper, and deeper and deeper until it touches the core of our being.

    Member 1410: If we followed what you say in your book, how do you see its impact or change on our society?
    Dan Millman: This is the first time, to my knowledge, that the bigger picture of personal and spiritual growth has been presented in this form. So I anticipate that any individual who understands the 12 gateways will become a happier, more service oriented, more awake and enlivened human being who will have a greater sense of meaning, purpose, direction and connection to life. It's tempting to make grandiose predictions on how this might impact society, but to me "society" is an abstract term. What is real is you .. and me, and friends and others in our world. My work focuses on individuals. This is where we can create the leverage that can improve our world.

    As one philosopher said "If each of us sweeps in front of our own doorway the whole world will be clean" Let's by all means change our world...but let's begin with ourselves.

    Moderator: What about virtual communities like Towne Square? Do you think these relationships and the possibilities for 'service' to others in this medium are "real" and worthwhile?
    Dan Millman: Yes I do. From the very first time I ever heard of the Internet or world wide web, it seemed to me that this is the nervous system of planet earth making new connections. I see the Earth as a single living creature and we, some very special cells, on earth body.

    Moderator: How much does fear stand in our way?
    Dan Millman: In the 7th gateway Accept Your Emotions, I do address fear, sorrow and anger as well as what we call more positive emotions. The reason Face Your Fears is a separate gateway as well, the 8th gateway, is because it has such an insidious impact on our lives.

    When we are very afraid, such as if we're about to bungie jump or do something else very dramatic, even jump off the high dive, we know we're afraid. We can see the fear and decide to make it be our servant or let it be our master. And I can tell you that fear is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master.

    The most dangerous and debilitating forms of fear are those such as self doubt, or the fear of rejection, or the fear of failure that masks itself as "I don't really want to do that anyway." So we all face different kinds of fears. Sometimes it serves as our guide, reminding us to prepare and show natural caution...but other times it takes the form of a hurdle we're here to overcome.

    Understanding the adversary of fear and the heart of the other gateways transforms every day life into an adventure, a path to illumination. We're never bored because we always have something to do.

    It's my wish, in closing, that this book has a major impact on many people because my own purpose in life, my own calling has, as long as I can remember, been to help make a positive difference. With that I close and wish you Godspeed.

    Moderator: Thank you so much, Dan, for joining us this evening. It has been truly wonderful talking with you!
    Arctic Frost: )applause Thanks, Dan!!!

    Thank you all so much for joining us and sharing this time.