PROBLEM SOLVING
TERMS AND TOOLS
- COMMUNICATION
- Conflicts are often caused by problems in communication. One
person may have misunderstood what the other person has said. Or
the other person may not have said what they meant to say.
Sometimes when we're angry we don't hear what the other person is
saying. Sometimes when there is a conflict, people do not tell
each other, which causes even more conflict. Good communication
skills are an important part of resolving conflicts.
- LISTENING
- It's important to listen carefully. Your "body talk" sends a
message that you are listening. Keeping eye contact, leaning
closer, nodding your head when you understand a particular point,
and ignoring distractions that are going on around you are some
of the ways to send the right body messages.
- SUMMARIZE
- When a person is finished expressing a thought, summarize the
facts and emotions behind what they have said so that they know
you have understood what they've said and how they are feeling.
- CLARIFY
- Ask questions to clarify or make clearer different parts of
the problem to make sure that you fully understand the other
person's perspective.
- GOOD SPEAKING SKILLS
- When you speak, try to send a clear message, with a specific
purpose, and with respect to the listener. Speak about how you
are affected by the problem.
- COMMUNICATION SIDETRACKERS
- Don't interrupt, criticize, laugh at the other person, offer
advice or bring up your own experiences, or change the subject.
- WIN-WIN OPTIONS
- An idea or suggestion in which both sides can benefit is
called a Win-Win option. The idea should help both sides.
- BRAINSTORMING
- The first step in problem solving is to come up with as many
ideas as possible. This is called brainstorming. During this
process, any idea that comes to mind should be expressed and
written down. Don't judge whether the ideas are good or bad, or
even discuss the ideas. Just try to come up with as many
solutions as possible.
- FIND A FAIR SOLUTION
- Then go through the ideas using fair criteria to see which
idea might be best. Using fair criteria means to judge each idea
with both people's interests in mind. Try to use reason and not
emotion to judge an idea, and with respect to each person's
difference in perception.
WAYS TO PRACTICE CONFLICT RESOLUTION
- NEGOTIATION
- Negotiation is a communication process in which people try to
work out their conflicts in a peaceful way using conflict
resolution techniques.
- MEDIATION
- Sometimes people who want to work out a conflict just can't
seem to agree on any way to work it out. They may want another
person to help them solve their problem. A mediator is a person
who helps two sides to work out their problems peacefully. The
mediator helps those in conflict to focus on the problem and not
blame the other person, to understand and respect each other's
views, to communicate their feelings and what each is really
saying, and to cooperate together in solving the problem.
Mediators are peacemakers.
- GROUP PROBLEM SOLVING
- Problems can also be worked out together in a group. Often
group problem solvers sit in a circle, so that all members are
equals. The same conflict resolution principles are used: they
focus on the problem not on assigning blame to any person; they
take turns sharing their point of view, and listening (without
interrupting) to all of the other points of view; all members
must show respect and not criticize other members or their ideas;
MORE ON CONFLICT RESOLUTION
Back up to Conflict Resolution Center
Visit the We Can Work It Out! Center
Visit the Get Your Angries Out Page