Have you ever noticed that we as humans are able to hate and love something at the same time? Is it possible that a particular race of people can be hated and discriminated as a whole, but we can love and admire certain individuals of that same race? You can actually be racist toward a certain race, and hold a member of that same race as your role model.
How many of us think Willie Mays was one of the greatest baseball players of all time? Hank Aaron, Jackie Robinson, Bob Gibson, Ernie Banks are just a few of the greatest players that many of us recognize. We want their baseball cards in our collections. We attend card shows seeking their autographs. When we talk baseball to our children and tell them how much better the game was in our time, their names are mentioned, and they are placed at the top of our list. Be it baseball, football, basketball, golf, track or any other sport or profession, some of the most notable names are part of a race that is still discriminated against today.
At the same time we can be racist. Some won't rent to African Americans. Some don't want them in their neighborhoods or schools. They find discrimination in almost everything they do.
I noticed this first hand quite a few years ago while living in New Jersey. Born and raised there, I thought I was quite familiar with the area. Working the late shift at a food catering warehouse, a friend asked me for a ride home. His race had no bearing on my agreeing to give him the ride he needed on my way home that morning.
Working in the northeast area of the state we had to use Rt.4, one of the most heavily used routes in the state. This route is part of what is nicknamed "cocaine alley," due to the fact that a good part of the overland drug traffic is transported through there. People of certain races fit police profiling in what they believe are the people most likely to deal in this trafficing.
Passing the first exit after getting on the highway we passed a police car waiting for a break in traffic so he could enter. We both noticed him looking at my passenger as we passed him. Within a quarter mile his lights were flashing and I was being stopped. When he asked for my license and registration, I thought it was a normal license check, even as he shown his flashlight into the car in my passenger's face.
Returning my credentials to me he said thank you, then addressed my passenger on a first name basis. Light still shining he asked how he was doing and said he hasn't seen him around lately. He asked if he was staying out of trouble. I could feel the contempt in his voice when he answered that he was. The officer finally shut his flashlight and said, "that's good to hear, you both have a good morning."
Pulling back into traffic he muttered under his breath that he didn't stop me for that license check. It was him that he stopped. He said he gets pulled over even when he isn't driving. Looking at him sort of amazed, he said that officer and quite a few others on that city's force pull him over quite often, sometimes to the point he thinks twice about even driving to the store. Uneasy at what I was hearing I stayed quiet, hoping the subject would be dropped. I felt embarrassed at what I witnessed and had no words to offer him, especially in the form of an apology. I definately knew what happened was wrong, and it stayed with me over ten years.
"The Child, The Adolesent, The Adult"
You are waiting for your appointment. As you look across the room you see them sitting there. A mother holding her child is something you see quite often in society. You smile as you look at her baby thinking how cute and soft the baby looks, so content in his mother's arms. Looking up, you smile at the mother telling her how cute and adorable her baby is, and how innocent they are at that age.
A couple years later her baby is a toddler, walking, running, grasping, playing and laughing. Things have changed a bit. Now he isn't looked at as being cute any longer. He's looked down on as a threat. You have to keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn't play rough and hurt your child. If something goes wrong, most eyes look to him as the culprit. Some people try to reprimand the child themselves, even in the mother's presence. The child is still innocent, but his mother surely notices what is happening.
A few years later you can hear yourself telling your children you don't want them playing with him. They can't play at his house. It is time to pick their friends for them for you need to protect them from harm. You rationally think that you aren't racist. You say you are just fulfilling your role as a parent.
Adolesence arrives as the years pass by. You are very concerned about the teens your child is associating with. They are still at an age where you feel they aren't capable of picking the right friends, and you voice this to them in many ways and with many questions, especially if he is part of this group. Lately there has been a resistance to this kind of parenting. Sons and daughters are resenting this kind of attitude being displayed to them and are disagreeing with their parent's views. They are demanding they be allowed to pick their friends and associates both privately and openly. Every generation has a rebellion from their younger generation and this seems to be happening today.
Adulthood has arrived. You are very proud of your child. The bumper sticker is still on your car proclaiming your child as an honor roll student. She graduated in the upper third of her class, and has been accepted at state this fall. You stand proud as she walks up to accept her diploma. Minutes later you hear his name announced and see him accepting his. Thoughts run through your mind which you know are wrong, but they are still there just the same. You are glad he graduated although you didn't hear his name announced with honors. You hope he doesn't turn bad like many of his race. You hope he doesn't become lazy, unemployed, on welfare, or in trouble with the law. You hope he doesn't father children and then abandon them and their mother. These are views that were taught to you as a child through many ways by your parents, relatives or friends, so therefore you know it's true....or is it?
The commencement exercise is over and you stand there trying to get your daughter's attention as she is amoungst her friends. Patiently waiting, you watch her congratulating her friends and wishing them well as they say goodbye. As she comes in front of him, diplomas in both their hands, you watch as they hug and embrace each other, tears forming in their eyes. This hug is different. It is much stronger and seems to have a lot of meaning and emotions. You swallow hard as you come to realize she has taught you something about friendship......something you know that has been true for years. Friendship should have no bounds. It should be blind to race, religion, or creed. It's time has come and you are now proud your daughter is part of it.
"Ask A Friend"
I have a very close friend I met online a few years ago. Our friendship has become closer as years have past. She and her husband introduced me to web page editing and creating through Aol's web page programs and I have been extremely lucky to have progressed to creating pages freestyle with their help and other friends online. She knows all my pages and most of my thoughts from beginning to end as I have created them, including this set of pages.
I asked her to help me with this page by giving me some ideas of how she feels discriminated against. Her list was short but said there were countless other ways and she could probably add to it as the page progresses.
Working for a major bank in her area, she feels the resentment and scrutiny when dealing with some older people, even to the point of them avoiding her line. Some avoid her desk when opening or asking for assistance with their accounts. When cashing a check at a store she notices checks being cashed for people in front of her without the cashier asking for id's. When she presents her check proper id is usually asked for. The same thing occurs when using any of her credit cards. Cards are accepted by cashiers from anyone in line by just presenting the card. The transaction is charged to their card without presenting any id. When she presents her credit card, her id's are checked and signatures and pictures are checked and compared to her signature on the receipt and card.
Having some department store experiance myself, I know her views are real. Store security focuses much attention on African Americans who enter the store. Camera's follow them when possible. Store associates are trained to keep them in view when in their areas. They are expected to make their presence known to prevent shoplifting. They are considered suspects as soon as they walk into the store. I personally have shopped a few times under these conditions, usually in a privately owned small store or gift shop. When I did, I just never gave them any repeat business, but with many stores enforcing the same policies, African Americans receive this treatment almost wherever they shop.
My friend Melanie
and her husband Chris
As you can see, they have had other problems with their lives, the main one being their interracial marriage. Stares hurt as does gossip or whispering when they are seen as a couple. There are many mixed marriages in this country and throughout the world. Italians marry Germans. Seeing a light or blonde haired Italian boy is considered cute, making him a handsome child. Jewish marry Italians. You can find all kinds of mixed marriages throughout this country....... Arabs and French, English and Spanish, Americans and Orientals are all accepted in our society by many everyday without question.
It is a totally different situation though when African Americans are mixed with any white person. This situation isn't accepted by many. A common argument or reason for this type of judgement is usually one of a few statements. One is "you shouldn't mix races when it comes to dating or marriage." Another common thought I heard expressed is "think of the children that they might bear through marriage." Our prejudice views become so easy to express that we sometimes unknowingly target these children without any regards to their feelings and emotions. Many of us shudder and cringe when we hear of many types of child abuse but we continue to fuel this type of abuse.
My oldest daughter is still living in New Jersey. She has mothered two children, and is raising them as a single parent. Things have been rough on her at times but she is dedicated to succeed. Her sons are both considered handsome, cute, or adorable depending on who you talk to. They love to smile, play, hug and kiss you. They walk with you while holding your hand. The toy department is their favorite in any department store. They are like any other child, loving, trusting and innocent, and they call me "grandpa."
Please meet my grandsons
Berthony
and Joshua
There are many cancers in this world that many doctors and scientists are working to cure. We have cancer, heart disease, muscular dytrosphy to name but a few. We can only donate money and time to help them complete their searches for cures. We have a chance to beat the odds of curing a cancer. Call this cancer what you wish.....prejudice, bigotry or hatred. It can be beat almost overnight. Take charge of your children's education. Teach them respect.......respect for all.....respect for life. Lose respect for others and you lose respect of your own life itself.
