ComedyCollective Writers Project

slogans for signs

twelve steps to being a revolutionary
(with translations for posh people)

just the facts (Worldwide Protest Against Anglo-American Iraq War 15.02.2003)

the following comedycollective signs are not sponsored by that nice Mr. George WMD Bush or our much more handsome, dashing Mr Blair.

TWELVE STEPS TO BEING A REVOLUTIONARY
[WITH TRANSLATIONS FOR POSH PEOPLE]

1. Pick the words for your placard (or make up your own)
[POSH: Choose whatever it is one er, um, what one might , er, want to say]

2. Design it on paper or print it as an ordinary A4 page
(8 inches by 10 inches)
[POSH: Hire David Hockney to do several silkscreen editions.]

3. Either photocopy it (up to an A3 size 11 inches by 14 inches)on a colour phootcopier or find some paper, cut it to size and draw and colour it yourself.
[POSH: Ah, David. Lovely. So much better than Lucien's last year.]

4. Make two, four or six copies of the poster
(two per placard)
[POSH: Order only fifty or sixty signed first editions, as one is only going to invite only one's closest friends. Could you have the printers do this in colour, using what I believe is called a ... laser-printer. What Did you say, Pippa? --- Oh yes, could one have them all laminated as well?]

5 Cut out two pieces of cardboard (found in the rubbish) to the same size as your posters.
[POSH: I think that nice Mr Warhol left some 18th century 400g weight Japanese acid-free paper, the last time he was round.]

6.Using clear packaging cello-tape, tape a thin wooden stick in the middle (use abandoned real estate signs, thin wood from a rubbish bin)
[POSH: Shall I pass you the cello-tape?]

7. Tape the wooden stick to one cardboard and then tape two cardboards together.
[POSH: Shall I pass you the cello-tape?]

8. Tape a poster to each side of the cardboard placard, so people can see what you have to say coming and going.
[POSH: Lovely. Well done! ]

9. Meet two friends, bring the placards, have a drink.
[POSH: Ah, Champers!]

10. March peacefully with one or two million of your closest friends.
[POSH: It's all been rather jolly, hasn't it. Such a lovely stroll. Hyde Park is always so pleasant in the spring. --Ah, the Ritz! Shall we just pop in?]

11. Stay to the end and then leave peacefully..
[POSH: That went rather well. It's rather like Henley, isn't it. Without the strawberries.]

12. Have a drink and a meal with your friends (take-away fish and chips or homemade chili).
[POSH: More Champers?  Darling, you're absolutely right. The Caviar House is just down from Hyde Park, isn't it. Clever thing!]

February 15th 2002 DATELINE: London UK

MORE than one million people staged an anti-war protest in London today, making it the UK's largest ever demonstration, organisers claimed. Hundreds of thousands of campaigners were in Hyde Park for a mass rally to oppose conflict with Iraq.

The turnout dwarfed the 400,000-strong countryside march which took place last year. Former Labour Cabinet minister Mo Mowlam joined others including veteran campaigner Tony Benn, Liberal Democrat leader Charles Kennedy, London Mayor Ken Livingstone, human rights campaigner Bianca Jagger, playwright Tariq Ali and singer Ms Dynamite.

The noisy but good natured protest was peaceful with Scotland Yard reporting just three arrests. Two men aged 31 and 32 were detained for public order offences. One 47-year-old man was detained for possession of an offensive weapon and racist material after being arrested in Whitehall Place. They remain in custody.

Organiser John Rees said the turnout was fantastic."It's an electric atmosphere but also very serious and determined.  It's not just a question of war and peace."

In Glasgow, organisers said around 61,000 protesters marched through the city where the Labour party's spring conference was being held. 100,000 protested in New York City, including survivors of the World Trade Center and family members of people killed in the September 11th attack . 100,00 marched in Montreal, 500,000 in Berli, and in Italy, one million peace protesters flooded central Rome.

ComedyCollective Writers Project