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The J.D. Rage Page Stain Your Skin
and Change the Way the World Spins
Go here to see stuff about my old band BABY BOOM -> Peter Kozlowski Name and Location: JD Rage,
performer, poet, publisher. Lower East
Side, Manhattan, NYC Want More? There are several poems below on this page, or: Go to New Photographs & Poetry: New Poetry More Pictures of Me: JD Rage Page (Page 2) More Tattoos: JD Rage Page (Page 3) Leather Jacket Paintings: JD Rage Page (Page 4) More Artwork: JD Rage Page (More 4) My week hosting the
Madam Chain's Erotic Poetry (who do you think she might be?): http://members.aol.com/mdmchainu/index.html Mike Halchin's Website: Undulating Bedsheet Productions Rage's Book Crucfried (excerpts): http://members.aol.com/mhalchin/catalog/rage.html BEBE BULLET: http://members.aol.com/bulletbebe/bullet.htm AXELIZATIONS - Jewelry & Blood Paintings:Axelizations Body Modification E-Zine: BME RAB-The Official Home Page for Rec.Art.Bodyart RAB Frank Moore's Page: eroplay
Let me know what you think about my page. Send mail by clicking: ragejd@aol.com.
My tattoo by Anil Gupta of Inkline Studio In NYC:
Here are a few Poems: (long ones!!!)
Dead Roses c1997 JD Rage While eating dinner I notice that the dead white rose is bleeding a man, and I don't know if he is homeless so I will just refer to him as a drunken bum, rants incoherent poetry outside my window my large red fish swims around ignoring his recitation sounds vaguely like Shakespeare the leopard curtains shrink as a cold draft pours through the crack where the window won't go all the way down I yell "shut up" and think about tomorrow and things that never seem to come all the while knowing at that very second a million lovers are within reach of ecstasy, ten thousand souls are getting their heads blown off or knives buried in their throats at least 500 old ladies are tossing bread crumbs to pigeons many corpses are being pumped with formaldehyde, placed in boxes and getting dirt thrown in their face and one wild man is raving on my sidewalk doing a good impression of the inside of my own head
got a pig on my computer and a hubcap on my wall how much more could anyone want
the silence is deafening because my brain will not be quiet and chooses solemn moments to begin its idiotic chanting there are dead roses everywhere today, it says I wonder if Lee Harvey Oswald was innocent, it says I wonder if death will give a wink before swallowing, it says
the phone is ringing no its only the bird he does a phone ring better than any phone and you can't turn the volume down
like in your head like in your head there is a good imitation of someone crying there is a passable mimicking of intelligence but there is also a poor excuse for a dream of freedom from all fear
all those dreams where the baby died and the dog died of starvation because you forgot to feed them because you were too lazy to go to the store nothing could save them they were your crime but as usual you can breathe a big sigh of relief when you wake up and nothing is real again
got everything money can buy got a silver gargoyle bat dog on a chain got a Frankenstein doll got a computer that talks what more could anyone want
when happiness comes it lands like a butterfly and takes off in a hurry I don't know if the chants I am hearing are from the Shakespearean bum or broadcasting from my pit but I am hearing chants gibberish I wonder if you will burn in hell, it says I wonder if it is even worth it for you to read the tarot or talk to the fortuneteller, it says empty is empty it says
got a pig on my computer got a hubcap on my wall got a bird that rings like a telephone got a clock that looks like dynamite got a fan that looks like a robot with red flashing eyes and it cools you off too what more could anyone want
there are dead roses in the kitchen because that's where I put them I wish I could give them away for presents but I couldn't bear to lose them they are all I have left of me and besides who would want dead roses and who would love dead roses one woman's dead rose is another's useless dusty and sometimes moldy garbage so I'll keep them especially the white one that is bleeding The New Modern Female Poet c1997 JD Rage I am the new modern female poet I smash my way to the stage yank up the microphone whip into caged panther-like pacing reach my hand neatly down through my skin rip out my guts and slap them down at your feet
everyone hates me because I remind them of the time they cursed blue streaks on a cold metal table in the delivery room because I force them to remember what I have never been able to forget
They feel compassion when they sometimes realize that I have seen the flowers but could never touch them or feel them or even offer them up I can only watch from here inside my black and red wall of anger
I am the new modern female poet no one wants to listen to me I talk too loud; my words boil relentlessly I hurt their ears and trash their souls I take my jackhammer to every faint heart bloody them up until they look just like me
Faces redden with embarrassment at my bold and foolish revelations and confessions saying things better left unsaid barking out my long hidden secrets flinging my stained underwear into the audience dangling my purple stretchmarks for them to snap up
But into your brain I come now entertaining you with my tales of rape and agony abandonment, drug addiction, insanity horror, wrinkles, dead and lost dreams so bad sometimes you think it must be fiction
I drag you to the bar with me where we slug down ten shots of Jack Daniels sour mash whiskey and top it off with a few tequila rituals no one is attracted, no one wants to meet us so we rush out into the night, hoping for better luck call up a junkie friend and beg him to cop us some dope because it's still there, that feeling of unending misery, that involuntary jerking of the nervous system brought on by the tragedy of life making our spirits revolve and wobble not allowing us to lay down and go to sleep
now, with drugs in hand, let's go home and pray for relief in the injection but it is not enough our insides still run back and forth aimlessly and sometimes whirl dizzily in restless circles
Then we remember there's some cheap vodka in the fridge we chug it, puke our guts up onto the livingroom floor pass out next to the mess our last thought of this stinkin' day sent out as a request to some god to let this finally be it, to never have to wake up again
This is my idea of a good poem
I am the new modern female poet I am even more dangerous than anyone has imagined in their wildest speculations after all, I am still upset about not being allowed to play varsity basketball in high school I can't get over never having been asked out on a date and having to resign myself to wishful teenage stalking I still remember every time the guys rolled down their car windows to tell me how ugly they thought I was how one of them got disgusted that I was a virgin and walked back into that college dance without me, never even looking back
how they raped me and tossed me in a ditch let me walk home with blood running into my socks
how they taught me that I was lower than dirt and how one of them married me to avoid going to jail and then punched me in the head and punched me in the stomach when I was eight months pregnant and punched me in the street and tortured me in the shower held my kitten out the 5th floor window by its skinny tail tried to stuff my puppy down the incinerator chute
these are the things I remember these are the incidents I find poetic the things I let them do when I didn't know any better when the only love I thought I could get was all tangled up with hopeless desolation
I am the new modern female poet a psychological nightmare a practitioner of black magick I love to injure with poisonous words I want to give everyone a taste of their own medicine I am sister death I am Ms. MotherF**ker I am Mommy Vicious I am JD Rage this world created me, I belong to you I am your own personal self-induced indestructible monster
So Welcome to Hell!!!!!!!!!! the very latest new modern female poet version of HELL where I am SATAN and we are both here to stay but you will now be required to BURN like I have always done so lay back and get uncomfortable I want to rest my hooves upon your chest and flick my tail across your face
Dogboy ...... c 1997 by JD Rage I used to call for a dogboy to follow me around here dogboy, here dogboy to be as loyal as a puppy I thought it was a joke a funny little fantasy but now I know that was really me
And I would love to make him howl so I could soothe his wounds I would watch him cry until the floor is stained with tears
And now he bounds ahead of me and runs into the street when he gets hit it's my fault I've left him off the leash a small red dog his bright blue eyes question mournfully he crawls to me he doesn't understand the pain he has since been run down a million times the scene repeated nightly in my dreams he drags himself to me I can not save him, he is gone I leave his body in the street the car has vanished with my screams
And now he bounds ahead of me in sneakers and black jeans If he gets hit it is my fault I've left him off the leash I must direct his every move correct his wrongful turns because I know the gutter is a dirty grave
Sit boy, Heel, Lie down, Roll over beg boy! .....do you like it? do you want some more?
If you remain silent I will disappear into the future leaving no chains around your waist to remind you of how I shaved your fur a pelt of thickness that concealed a woman beneath that will always grow back over your flat chest and when removed can only allow the illusion of femininity that is only painted on what lovely eyes you have my dogboy
I hear a whimper from the past claws clack against the porcelain tub I couldn't stop the belt he was too strong and I no match for him His cruel mouth twisted and when the puppy moaned delight danced behind his crazy eyes
The shadow of your heavy beard destroys the deception of the wig you can not walk in five inch heels and must lean on me so heavily so close that for an instant reflected in the sequins on your silver party dress we are the same woman I am the strong essential element you are the delicate smoke I take you home and wipe away the makeup destroying my creation returning the princess to a frog to a little monster dog who will bite its Mistress rabidly disappointed at the fleeting nature of its transformation
Encircling your young neck with a studded collar attaching the lead I bought for you closing the lock into which I have engraved my name binding those pliant wrists and ankles raising your arms above to hook them to the shower head fitting the mask snugly until you are amorphous and anonymous a figure wrapped in locks and clothesline handcuffed then kneeling at my feet eagerly awaiting the lash desirous of the roughness of my jeweled tongue across your tender skin I will punish you for your ungainly maleness I will wipe the cares and trials of thought away replace them with another sensation overpowering and cleansing into obliteration and release it is not easy but for your pleasure and mine is but a small cost I lead you to your missing depth take you down within a hidden soul draw you close in the dark romance of pain
A small black dog circles the room there is a celebration going on but there is no furniture and the people lean against freshly painted white walls the dog sees her wet nose reflected in the varnished gleam of wood she drinks from all the plastic glasses of the guests lapping up that human poison until she staggers into the center of the crowd and sprawls on all four legs extended her belly flat against the floor
you are not a woman, not a man you are just a boy you are not a woman, not a man you are just a boy you are dogboy you are mine I own you now and forever no matter where you go or what you think is happening I am in control I am your Mistress Frankenstein you are my little beast no one else will ever want you like I do or grace you with such splendid gifts you are ungrateful now but regret will be no stranger when next you want to be a woman and no one else can change you no one else will change you no one else will share their essence will show you what a woman really is and not what you have been indoctrinated to believe or attempt to convince you that it is so much more than a leather stiletto shoe so much deeper than long red polished nails impossibly more complex than an eyebrow pencil or a wicked lipstick smear a false fluttering eyelash the slanted bangs of a black wig even smooth skin does not really tell you anything it is when I let you see inside me when I lend you just the slightest bit of torture and kiss you with my knife that is when you will know what I am and what you are beneath all your layers
don't forget your lessons dogboy return again to lick my feet or you will wish you were an authentic canine running for your life out on the street
here dogboy here dogboy Sit boy, Heel, Lie Down, Roll Over do you like it? do you like it boy? Do you.........want some more?
1966 c 1997 by J.D. Rage I went to the Albert Hotel twice the first time, with my friend Chet who was supposed to be banging a tambourine with me on MacDougal St. but instead he became the road manager for a band called the Blue Magoos invited me to their suite when they came to town on tour I don't know why but when I walked in their door, I had the feeling Jim Morrison had once either puked or pissed on the floor right where I stood.
The Blues Magoos didn't like me because I was an ungainly geek back then and wore an unstylish maroon ski sweater I reminded them of what they were underneath their silk psychedelic Edwardian shirts They were uncomfortable with me in their room and I was soaking up bad vibrations like a sponge so I left. Chet gave me passes to see them at the Balloon Farm on St. Marks Place
* * *
Janis Joplin, raw-faced and hooting a gravelly laugh dances down the middle of the street antique fur coat and hair FLYING!!!!
* * *
I went to see the Blues Magoos and got drunk on a gallon jug of cheap chianti under one of those spinning balls of flashing mirror-spotted strobe lights and melting pink purple chartreuse amoeba crawling the walls The band was okay. I never saw Chet again
* * *
I didn't even want to go back to the Albert Hotel when the time came no need to feel like a green elephant balanced on a garbage can rolling over a sea of banana peels unless absolutely necessary. but it was that or the sidewalk
* * *
bad times didn't seem so bad then even the meanest junkies had their own apartments on Stanton Street bad times didn't seem quite so bad then
No, bad times didn't seem quite so bad then maybe it was the tuinal
* * *
I met this guy who wanted to be just like Bob Dylan I wanted to be Andy Warhol but that's another story
* * * Tuli Kupferburg in old gray overcoat sits on a park bench between Jack Michelin and an unknown drooling bum who is probably more famous than JESUS CHRIST!!!! * * * Maybe the guy thought he was Bob Dylan with that twangy voice he told me Blind Lemon Jefferson taught him everything he knew and he was just back from East Orange on a visit to Woody Naturally after hearing this I invited him "up into my room" I lived in a cheap but unromantic hotel with no charisma that fifteen years later deteriorated into wild popularity with scruvy doped-up punk rockers I was one of them but the manager wouldn't let Bobby in with his skinny black pants pointy-toed shoes suede vest and top hat worn over a funny-looking white boy Afro but that particular day I couldn't live without him
* * *
A girl with full red frizzy long hair is perched cowboy style on the iron railing circling Washington Square Park she wears a Lipton Tea bag tag stapled to the lapel of her second-hand army jacket It says "Take Tea and See" A man asks her, "How much for the whole NIGHT????"
* * *
Bobby took me to the real Albert Hotel this time there was no suite not even a room we're talking a cell in a beehive we slept in a lumpy ripe-smelling bed with our feet sticking off the end he pissed in the tiny stained sink in the corner too scared to go down the hall at night I didn't even think about it In the morning we drank Orange Julius on Eighth Street I never saw him again either I didn't even know his right name
* * *
A Fallen Rock Godz is passed out cold in the street Eldridge Street, I think traffic avoiding him at the last minute I drag him to the gutter SNORING!!!!
* * *
I don't think I ever saw anyone I ran into on a day I went to the Albert Hotel ever again
* * *
Including Janis Joplin
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