Interesting Books
China/adoption oriented
A picture is worth a 1000 words. This is one of my favorite pictures! This man was coming down the stairs at one of the parks, as we were going up them. He gave the baby the most wonderful, spontaneous grin. Xian asked if we could take his picture, smiling at the baby. He pointed at his old clothes and questioned us. This is what made it so sweet.
I would recommend you get these from the library until you decide if they are worthwhile to have in your own collection. I have read all the books except ones marked with an *. Click on a link, if I've written a longer explanation or if I've included someone else's explanatation.
There are many, many more interesting books people have shared on the China list servs. I have not included them all, chiefly because I have not read them. If you have an especially interesting book you would like to see included, write me. I will put your review of it into my page.
For children
The year of the boar and Jackie Robinson, Bette Bao Lord (her fictionalized account of her immigration to the U.S.; for children, approximately a 3rd or 4th grade level.) I liked this book a lot. It shows the adjustments she went through coming over at about age 8. She immediately went to school, but because she told her age in the Chinese way, they put her ahead two grades in school. She says, in real life, this allowed her to meet her husband-to-be many years later in college, otherwise he would have been out of college before she was in it.
*Tall Boy's Journey (this book was written by the mom of a boy who came home at 8-years-old from Korea. It was written from his point of view and he helped write the book, according to Martha.)
When you were born in China by Sara Dorrow.
Our baby from China an adoption story by Nancy D'Antonio.
Over the Moon by Karen Katz.
C is for China by Sungwan So.
Growing up in ancient China by Ken Teague.
The Children of China by Matti A. Pitkanen.
*Maples in the Mist by Minfong Ho, a collection of Chinese children's poems from the Tang dynasty translated into English with wonderful pictures and Chinese characters. These poems have been used to teach children to read.
*China, A True Book by Ann Heinrichs.
Fiction
Spring Moon, Bette Bao Lord (very good, story of a family from the early 1900s to now; this is a book I own and have reread several times.)
The Joy Luck Club, Amy Tan (very good, made into a movie.)
The Kitchen God's Wife, Amy Tan (I enjoyed the delicious ironic humor, manipulation by characters as immigrant Chinese mothers pass on their China memories to their daughters. Some sickness/pretended sickness to further the plot.)
The Hundred Secret Senses by Amy Tan. It is rather an odd book which involves past life remembrances being carried over to this life. It is interesting because it shows an aspect of Chinese thought that is still current today. It is not one I would like to own.
The Good Earth, by Pearl Buck.
Raise the Red Lantern by Su Tong.
The Accidental Asian: Notes of a Native Speaker by Eric Liu. It is a wonderful and insightful memoir of growing up Asian-American. His parents were the original immigrants. He has quite touching memories of his father who died quite young of renal disease. It is one I recommend.
Bound Feet and Western Dress, Pang-Mei Natasha Chang.
Chinese Legacies, Bette Bao Lord (very good, true stories, sometimes the voice is hard to figure out, whether it is her experience or someone else's.)
An Empty Lap by Jill Smolowe (her story of infertility leading her to Chinese adoption at Yangzhou where Caidi came from; mostly her infertility story.)
Harem, the world behind the veil by Alev Lytle Croutier (a woman). ISBN 0-89659-903-5. This book deals more with Turkey, but it does mention China in passing because China also had eunuchs, concubines and polygamy. A fascinating book.
Little Sister, Julie Checkway
A Mother’s Ordeal, Steven Mosher (there is some question as to whether this is completely true or not. If true, it was surprising to me that she would talk about being part of it: forced abortions.)
China Wakes, Nicholas Kristof
On Gold Mountain Lisa See
Coming Home Crazy, an alphabet of Chinese essays, by Bill Holm. ISBN # 0-915943-42-5. (I really liked this one.)
The New Chinese Revolution by Lynn Pan ISBN 0-8092-4610-4, copywrite 1987-88
Easy Family Recipes from a Chinese-American Childhood, 150 delicious Chinese dishes for today's American table, by Ken Hom (of the BBC TV series), ISBN 0-394-58758-8.
The Genius of China , by Robert Temple. It includes a timeline inside the covers comparing when ideas/inventions/processes were developed in China to their development or discovery in the West. It is truly fascinating how many hundreds of things the Chinese were first to discover. They even discovered diabetes long before anyone in the West had ever thought of it. I highly recommend this book, though I do not own it, I borrowed it from the library.
The Joy of Getting along with the Chinese by Fred Schneiter (I highly recommend this one)
Sons of the Yellow Emperor: a history of the Chinese diaspora by Lynn Pan ISBN 0-316-69010-4.
Tracing it home, a Chinese Journey by Lynn Pan ISBN 1-56836-009-6
Wild Swans by Jung Chang ISBN#0-385-42547-3
Toddler Adoption (subject, not book title)
A man and his mother, an adopted son's search by Tim Green (Fox TV's Sports host and former NFL football player). ISBN 0-06-039217-7.
Books I have not read, but were recommended by others
* National Geographic has a pictorial of China, Journey Into China ISBN 0-87044-437-9 and 0-87044-47302 (deluxe). It is available from the National Geographic Society but can sometimes be found in a used book store.
*A Day in the Life of China ISBN 0-000-2155321-1. It is pictures from all over China shot by 90 of the world's best photojournalists on April 15, 1989, shortly before the Tiananmen Square incident.
*The Chinese Century edited by Jonathan D Spence, also pictorial. The third to last picture shows a group of people gathered around a small package on the ground, an abandoned baby girl.
*Searching for the Shadow World of Chinese Women ISBN#0-670-84878-6
*River at the Center of the World, by Simon Winchester
*The Concubine's Children, Denise Chong
*Life & Death in Shanghai, Nien Cheng
* Falling Leaves, Adeline Yen Mah (her story of being an unwanted daughter of a wealthy Chinese family; not about adoption.)
*The struggle for the soul of a rising power
*Bitter Winds, Harry Wu
*Sour Sweet" By: Tim Mo ISBN#0-099-96200-4
*My Lucky Face" By: May-Lee ISBN#1-589-47094-4
*Red China Blues By: Jan Wong She is a woman who was born in Canada of Chinese parents, and like many students in the late 60's, early 70's, she thought China was a new, perfect society under Chairman Mao. Though Beijing University did not, at that point, accept foreign students, they did accept her and one other young woman from outside China, and she was able to attend ...during the cultural revolution, so that her studies included a lot of time working on a farm or in a factory. She remained in China as a journalist for many years after , and her perspective on China during and after Mao was fascinating...and all the more readable since she understands the western perspective very well. [from Lynn].
*A Lost Generation"
*A Single Tear" By: Wu Ningkun
*Women of the Silk by Gail Tsukiyama (her mother is of Chinese descent). It's about girls in China who were given to the silk industry in the 1920's because their families cannot care for them. The book gives some historical insight into family obligations and difficult choices. [from Gail]
*Tea That Burns by Edward Hall [very new book, perhaps not available yet.]
What I thought about some of these books
Bound Feet and Western Dress Pang-Mei Natasha Chang (ISBN 0-385-47963-8).
She writes about her aunt who had the first modern divorce in China in 1922 from Hsu Chih-mo a famous poet. Anyway, I liked it a lot and will probably add it to my collection. It is wonderful for background to this century leading up to our daughters' experiences and then into our lives.
This is from the first paragraph: "I am your grandfather's sister...and before I tell you my story, I want you to remember this: in China, a woman is nothing. When she is born, she must obey her father. When she is married, she must obey her husband. And when she is widowed, she must obey her son. A woman is nothing, you see. This is the first lesson I want to give you so that you will understand." Top.
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The Small Woman by Alan Burgess, written in 1957.
It tells the story of Gladys Aylward, a missionary in China. [See below for a book about Jews in China too.] She went to China in 1931 independently, learned the language so well as to sound native, lived through the invasion of Japan and the war with the communists. She became a naturalized Chinese citizen.
The Mandarin and she became good friends. She became his foot inspector to make sure that foot binding stopped. This put a whole new face on foot binding for me, because it was only in the 30's that this stopped. I think I thought it had stopped earlier. That meant that my own mother would have had her feet bound if she were Chinese.
The movie Inn of Eight Happiness (I think it is called ) is based on her story. Anyway, while waiting for Caidi, I tried to watch the movie but couldn't get through it. Now post-Caidi there is no time to get through it <g>. Maybe I will borrow the movie again now that I know the story. The towns are all written in the other form of Chinese, so I didn't recognize the names, but they might be where some of our children are from.
I think it is an interesting book whether or not you are Christian for the history of what was going on during that time frame.
There is a book about Jews in China: << Jews in Old China-Studies by Chinese Scholars by Sidney Shapiro, 1984 Hippocrene Books, 171 Madison Ave., NY 10016. It's a collection of writings, starting from 1897, with Shapiro's commentary-an overview of what Chinese say about the subject.>> Top.
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On Gold Mountain by Lisa See ISBN 0-312-11997-6
It is the story of her Chinese-American family and how they came to America. Several of them married Caucasians, and she herself is red haired and Caucasian looking. She speaks no Chinese, so when she went to China to research the Chinese part of the family, she had to use an interpreter and she stayed at the White Swan.
It is really quite fascinating. She blends fact with fiction and the multiplicity of "facts" the older family members gave her as she was writing the book (none of which are the same). Along the way it incorporates all kinds of historical information to help you put it in perspective. It includes building the railroad in California, also early Sacramento and Los Angeles.
I'm really enjoying it for the perspective it gives. For example her grandfather, then in the US, had two wives and a concubine. He had married in China to a child bride who had been bought for him before he left so he would not forget China (she was left there; the marriage was not consummated at that time; she was 10 years old). This is the life our girls would have lived not so many years ago. No one remembers the name of the concubine. She is just known as the prostitute.
She mentions that when one of her relatives died, Chinese wives were seen in public for the first time ever. They always stayed inside the house. This is in the US.
I find it a little hard to read the family tree because of the style of the lines connecting people. I often have to read it several times to see what she is saying and follow the characters along. But it is sure interesting. Top.
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Coming Home Crazy, an alphabet of Chinese essays, by Bill Holm. ISBN # 0-915943-42-5.
I thoroughly enjoyed it. He is very witty. It brought back fond memories of my trip and introduced me to other areas in China that I no doubt would have loved. It is a loving memoir of the friends he made and the frustrations he battled to get anything done. I think I would have enjoyed it before I traveled, but I loved it since I have experienced it. While I ordered this from our library, it is a book I would like to own.
Here's a couple of quotes I liked:
"The middle class of Europe and North America regards children these days as a burden, a spur to guilt, an impediment to travel, and tries to buy itself a little free time with expensive toys. The Chinese love children in the old way. Watching the silliness of Disney 'toons'...part of them becomes a child again...[this tells] an unexpected truth about the Chinese soul." p 119
"My introduction to the erhu shamed me and taught me something about human parochialism and the limitations of ... notions of education....It is one thing to read abstractly that you are not the center of the universe, and that truth, divine or otherwise (if such a distinction is possible), was not dropped exclusively in your lap, for your personal amusement and salvation. The lesson to be learned from these shocks is to cultivate modesty and curiosity and to eschew evangelism and certainty. We do not need more fixed ideas but more experience, more erhu music." p 75
The book is copyrighted 1990, he lived there in the 80's and at that time he still saw bound feet on some of the older women. Top.
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I was especially interested in this book because Jill went to Yangzhou as we did. I had read her magazine article about her experience and looked forward to the book. Her husband was as difficult as mine, and I recognized many of the scenarios.
I would have liked to have seen more information on their China adoption, specifically on Yangzhou and the orphanage, and less on the infertility treatments, or at least equal amounts. I was also disappointed that there were no pictures, but the magazine article had many pictures. I was hopeful the book might have fuller pictures. (This magazine article was given to me by a good friend when she first heard I was going to China. She is an adoptive mom to two domestic children by open adoption. It was a wonderful red thread because at my referral I recognized the name of the orphanage and went back to the article.)
This passage struck a note with me: p115 "There is no hope, no hope at all…Years later, Joe will tell me, 'I don’t remember any of that.' Time for him will have washed away any mention .... What will surprise me is not the different moments stuck in our respective memories, but that even when I supply the detail of those moments, which were so key to my unrelenting despair – the setting, the circumstance, the tone of his voice – Joe still can’t summon even a fuzzy recollection. It will sadden me anew to think how alone I was.. How at the very moment when I was clutching at adoption as the only remaining line that could reel me back to shore, my only potential rescuer wasn’t even aware that I was drowning."
It made me wonder if all men are alike, when it comes to remembering things they say to us! There are comments I remember my husband making which he denies he ever made, because he simply does not remember them. Meanwhile, I'm holding onto resentment for something he doesn't remember!
Joe says to her not to take him so seriously after he has said some atrocious thing. She says he was determined to take all joy out of the experience for her. She says that he was indifferent. He says, no, he wasn't indifferent, he didn't want a child. Amen. Sounds too familiar to me.
Perhaps it is a man-thing, or at least a some-man-thing. It hit close to home for me!
The article (synopsis of An Empty Lap by Jill Smolowe) can be found in Family Life Magazine Nov 1995. It encompasses the best of the book, in my opinion, unless you want a LOT of infertility issues. It has some sweet pictures. There are NO pictures in the book, which was a disappointment. My daughter came from Yangzhou and I had hoped that there would be additional pictures in the book because she was allowed inside the orphanage while we were not. The title of the article is Answered Prayers: An adoption in china.
Karin
wife of 53 yo Ron who initially opposed our adoption for a variety of reasons, but did it anyway
mom to: Caidi (our 2 yo wonder child, who is always smiling and busy, who gave me back my joy) from Yangzhou, SN bec of 2 bio children Top.
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Harem, the world behind the veil by Alev Lytle Croutier (a woman). ISBN 0-89659-903-5.
This book is a comprehensive look at the world behind the veil the world over as depicted in art, diaries (western and otherwise) and poetry, especially in Turkey where the author’s family was in harem until it was outlawed in the early 1900s.
She discusses it in modern times (including Africa as late as 1952) and includes quite a bit about it's usage in China, including eunuchs.
It is really like an art history book in many ways with a lot of commentary.
It is really fascinating and bars no punches over the life led, the religious ramifications, how eunuches were "made" and their acceptance even in Italian opera. It is not pornographic in any way, just detailed and fascinating.
And eye opening. Top.
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Frankly, I think there is a lot I could not parent, even if I had prepared myself by reading about it. I have a 22 yo bio son and a 13 yo bio daughter and have had many exchange students all approximately 17 years old when living with us. It is difficult enough to raise a son to adulthood when there are no serious problems. I cannot imagine it under certain circumstances. My heart goes out to those who struggle against difficult odds.
I did not read any books on the subject of toddler adoption particularly, while I waited. I am an avid reader and somehow picked up the concepts early on, probably even before thinking about adopting. The books scared me to death!
I just kept reminding myself that too many people were adopting from China (and adopting a second time from China) for there to have been a pattern of serious problems across the board. (In fact, as I remember it the book The Weaver's Craft really doesn't mention China in it. It deals more with other countries.)
That said, if I had felt I was up against a serious problem, I would have networked to find resources. Or, I would have refused the referral.
I do know that with some countries it is possible to dissolve an adoption and it has been done. (Don't ask me which countries, I don't remember.) Top.
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A man and his mother, an adopted son's search by Tim Green (Fox TV's Sports host and former NFL football player). ISBN 0-06-039217-7.
This book jumped out at me in the library.
This book was very well written and clearly shows his deep desire to be connected to his birth mother (who he eventually did find; he also found his birth father.) It was sad for the types of situations that came up in the 60's and the fallout to all involved: his pain while growing up (and his adopted brother's pain, which took different forms.) He has some priceless observations. He also tells of his adoptive mother's pain in his search, that she had counted on the privacy of the documents they had signed, so that he would be her forever son and she his forever mother.
It was disconcerting in that he calls both mothers, "mother." He does not say, "birth mother," and "mother."
Of course, I can't help but compare my Caidi to him and wonder if she will have some of the same pain. Certain things his adoptive parents did, I would not do, but this may be a function of our times too.
I definitely recommend the book. It is a fast read and is supposed to be being made into a made for TV movie.
From the book:
It’s not that I was an orphan. I had parents, good ones. It’s just that as I grew up, many of the threads of my being were disconnected. (p 14) If I couldn’t have a past with my mother, I knew I would have a future with Illyssa (p 123). …I was able to lay my hands on the physical and spiritual essence of my future as well as my past (p 187). My parents and I never spoke about what was wrong, but neither did we stop communicating. I remember the words of my 10th grade history teacher. He told us that even a history of broken treaties were preferable to the alternative. He said that once two sides stopped talking, only war could follow. Tensions ran high between my parents and me, and there was no shortage of rattling of sabers, but thankfully none of us declared war. (p189) I found myself in the position [of] subordinating my own wishes to people I was angry with just so they wouldn’t think I was angry with them. (p 220)… being a parent…is being there when no one else wants to and when no one else can. (p 221) Top.
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Easy Family Recipes from a Chinese-American Childhood, 150 delicious Chinese dishes for today's American table, by Ken Hom (of the BBC TV series), ISBN 0-394-58758-8.
It looks quite wonderful. He starts the book with recollections of his childhood in Chicago in Chinatown and the recipes each have a little personal note before them. I've not finished reading it, but it is very interesting, just to see the differences in growing up Chinese in early days v. for our children. He spoke exclusively Cantonese until he went to school. He has some memories of Canton, which I find fascinating, having been there to get Caidi.
...hard to say if they are all Cantonese – he doesn't label them as such he has at least one Northern style (lamb I think) order it from your library and take a look
I just found about 5 pages on Amy Tan's childhood, so it's sort of a culinary biography/auto-biography, interspersed with memories of family eating
...kind of a peek into a Chinese American's life (and our child's if they had been born in this country or taken here by Chinese parents)
Happy reading and happy eating!! Top.
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Tracing it home, a Chinese Journey by Lynn Pan ISBN 1-56836-009-6
I ordered this book from the library. I enjoyed it immensely. She is a wonderful writer who has written other books which I will also check out. Every page is interesting and insightful. I will probably buy my own copy. I took quite a few notes out of it.
She details a lot of information about Shanghai, for those of you who went/are going there. Nien Cheng writes a positive book jacket comment.
It really is quite wonderful! Happy reading. Top.
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The New Chinese Revolution by Lynn Pan ISBN 0-8092-4610-4, copywrite 1987-88
I enjoyed this book very much. Because of the date of publishing it, some things may be out of date, but then again, many things never change, or seemingly so. Each chapter discusses a different aspect of culture from children (and the one child rule) to farms, religion, minorities, etc.
p267 minorities: Strictly speaking the term "Chinese" designates a nationality rather than a race, and if one were pedantic one should always say "Han" instead of Chinese, if what one means is the predominant race in China, rather than a minority group like the Tibetans or Mongolians. A large number of China’s inhabitants are not Chinese at all, but belong to pockets of other cultures which have historically existed beyond the frontiers of Chinese colonization – or above them, in the hills.
As Chinese civilization spread outward from its cradle in the Yellow River basin, it absorbed more and more aboriginal cultures along its expanding borders; and there are now 55 racial minorities in China… less than 7% of the total population…no fewer than 67 million peo. Top.
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Sons of the Yellow Emperor: a history of the Chinese diaspora by Lynn Pan ISBN 0-316-69010-4.
I am really enjoying her books immensely. There is information in each of them that I have not found in any other. And she is very readable. Each chapter in this book deals with a different aspect of the topic. This is from the chapter "Some of the women."
These single women were called "saw hei." Interesting point they would work for other families; sometimes if they were married, they had bought their husband a concubine and sent home wages to the children who were then their "technical and psychological sons..." (p194) They lived in a group, often like a nun. At the time, a wealthy woman knew her husband would take a concubine; a poor woman knew her husband would send her out to work. They took vows of chastity. At the time (1930's) they felt birth was a defilement.
"Later the women rejected marriage altogether, becoming sworn spinsters. If forced to marry some of them would kill themselves, ...resorting to mass suicide to safeguard their chastity..."
and it goes on...really fascinating stuff...
"There was no worse fate than to find oneself destitute and alone in old age...the ones in Singapore excited enough morbid curiosity to become tourist attractions... to guard against such a fate ... the amahs adopted children -- girls rather than boys [hey, isn't this interesting!] bec daughters were thought more filial -- obtaining them (at a price which ranged from a nominal US$5 to US$350 in 1954)...but by no means did every adopted daughter live up to the hopes of the foster mother, or to the expectation that she would carry on the tradition of remaining unmarried....[even the saw hei themselves didn't if they were in an area with a lot of men, she says]" (p 198)
This is from p 195, talking about worshipping the goddess/ Buddhism, etc (women were drawn to them bec these institutions cherished sexual equality): "A 'non-marrying' fate is one in which one's predestined partner -- the person one marries over and over in different incarnations -- happens not to be alive at the same time, or not to be of marriageable age, or of the wrong sex." It is also in the section on saw hei.
I just thought it was/is all fascinating how it all evolved... Top.
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*River at the Center of the World, by Simon Winchester.
It's a narrative of an Englishman's journey up the length (all the way to Tibet) of the Yangtze River in 1995. I've learned an awful lot about Chinese history and politics. It's wonderfully enjoyable reading; the author has a droll sense of humor that really appeals to me. [Susan reviewed this.] Top.
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