About Me
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentless self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There is nothing like a shorn scrotum . . . it's breathtaking. I suggest you try it.
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The Real About Me
Name (full): Ryan Craig
Davis
Nickname (if applicable): Ry Bear, Ry Muffin, Moltov, Ry Guy, basically "Ry" with anything after it
Screen names: Retromunky, Poo2
Age: 15
Sex: Male
Height: 5'10"
Weight (optional): 145lbs.
Eye color: bluish-gray
Hair color: short, bleached blond, flipped up in front
Personality: weird, dumb, funny once in a while.
Shoe size: 11
Location: Boring, OR
School: Sam Barlow High School
Future college: don't know but want to major in journalism or written literature
Future goal: Get rich and have a beautiful wife
Current future occupation: Author, journalist, cartoonist.
Date of birth: 12.22.83
Place of birth: Portland Adventist Hospital, Portland, OR
Best friend: I'm not sure . . . Chip and Katie are probably my best friends
Best friend on-line: I have a plethora of them
Boyfriend/girlfriend (if applicable): I'll keep ya updated
What do you look for in a guy/girl: Compatibility, and all the other good stuff like good looks and great personality. They have to have a good sense of humor, though
Funniest person you know: Brian Baker, Josh Johnson, or Pat McBrien
Pets and their names: cat-Whiskers, rat-Leia
Siblings (same as pets): Brent(11), Tiffany(7)
Left handed, right handed, or ambidextrous: Right handed
What annoys you the most: My brother crying, getting too many IMs at once
What instruments do you play (if applicable): alto sax, accoustic guitar
What religion are you: CHRISTIAN!
Do you attend church: Yes, Lynchwood Christian Church
Do you pray: Yes
Do you believe in reincarnation or heaven and hell (or other): Heaven and Hell
Do you belive in evolution or creationism: Creationism, although the two theories actually agree with each other
Do you believe in miracles: Yes
Do you believe in ghosts: Yes
Do you believe in UFOs and extra-terrestrial life: Yes
Do you enjoy school: Sometimes
Do you talk on the phone a lot: Yeah
Do you talk on the computer a lot: Yeah, you can talk to more of your friends at once on there, and there are no long distance fees to people who live far away.
Do you talk more on the computer or phone: Computer
Do you color in coloring books: I became discouraged when I couldn't stay in the lines.
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: Only when I'm lonely. . .
Do you have a pen-pal from another country: I used to have one in New Zealand, but alas, no more. Courtenay is sorta my penpal, but she just lives in La Grande, which is like 300 miles away or something. I don't know distances.
Do you skateboard, rollerblade or bike: Bike sometimes
Do you do any snow sports: Ski and snowboard
Do you do any water sports: Wakeboard
Do you experience déjà vu a lot: Heck yeah
Do you like filling out questionnaires like this one: Not any more, they were cool the first two or three times but then they just got really gay
Have you ever bungee jumped or sky dived: I plan on doing either or both when I'm old enough.
Have you ever been in a cast, if so, where: Nope
Have you ever thought you were going to die: Yeah, when my appendix ruptured
Have you ever ran away from home: Nope
Favorite mammal: Cheetah
Favorite amphibian: Poison Arrow frog
Favorite reptile: Iguana
Favorite bird: Hawk
Favorite fish: Marlin
Favorite bug: Praying Mantis
Favorite type of food (i.e. Italian, American): Italian
Favorite food (i.e. pizza, lasagna): Shrimp skampi over fetticini alfredo, or the #3 at the Old Spaghetti Factory (three meatballs, Italian sausage, and spaghetti with rich meat sauce). And also terriyaki chicken over yakisoba noodles.
Favorite cereal: Waffle Crisp is always good, and also Oops! All Berries
Favorite candy: Jelly Bellies and Milk Duds
Favorite condiment (i.e. ketchup, mustard): RANCH! Everything goes with ranch!
Favorite brand of chips (i.e. Doritos, Pringles): Pringles or Baked Lays
Favorite flavor of chips (i.e. cooler ranch, sour cream & onion): Taco Supreme, even though they don't make those flavor anymore (filthy buggers), so my fav is probably the good kind
Favorite frozen treat: Butterfinger Blizzard from DQ
Favorite flavor/dish of ice cream: Tillamook Brown Cow
Favorite restaraunt: Olive Garden and Old Spaghetti Factory
Favorite fast-food: Taco Bell and Arby's
Favorite convenience store: 7-11
Favorite toy: My inflatable doll . . . WAIT! I mean, uhh, my, umm, bouncy ball, yeah.
Favorite movie(s): Austin Powers: the Spy Who Shagged Me and Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, almost all of Adam Sandler's movies and American Pie.
Favorite movie genre: Comedy and Horror
Favorite movie theatre: Division Street
Favorite snack at the movies: Milk Duds or Jelly Bellies (but they don't sell Jelly Bellies at Regal Cinemas anymore, so that sucks)
Favorite TV show: Drew Carrey and Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Favorite talk show: I don't watch talk shows, either
Favorite soap opera (if applicable): I don't watch that crap
Favorite cartoon: South Park, cool anime (not Pokémon and stuff like that)
Favorite TV channel: ABC, FOX
Favorite made-for-TV movie: Stephen King's The Shining
Favorite movie actor(s): Nicolas Cage, Adam Sandler, Mike Meyers
Favorite movie actress: Jennifer Love Hewitt
Favorite TV actor: Ryan Stiles, Drew Carrey
Favorite TV actress: Jennifer Love Hewitt
Favorite male cartoon character: Kenny McCormick
Favorite female cartoon character: Jessica Rabbit
Favorite animal from TV or movie: That dog on the Ernest movies
Favorite book: Bag of Bones by Stephen King
Favorite author: Stephen King
Favorite literary genre: Horror
Favorite brand(s) of shoe: Adidas, Dr. Marten, Lugz
Favorite brand(s) of clothing: Tribal Gear, Nautica, American Eagle, Structure
Favorite cologne and/or perfume: Acqua di Giõ, Cool Water
Favorite toothpaste: Crest
Favorite toothbrush: Crest Extender
Favorite coffee drink: Mocha
Favorite soft drink: JONES SODA!!!
Favorite car: MITSUBISHI ECLIPSE! and also Porsche Boxster and BMW Z3
Favorite sport: Pool
Favorite sport to watch on TV: Synchronized swimming
Favorite video game system (i.e. Nintendo 64, Playstation): Nintendo64
Favorite game on selected system: Goldeneye 007, Legend of Zelda: the Ocarina of Time
Favorite game (any system): Earthbound (Super Nintendo)
Favorite board game: Clue
Favorite super hero: Austin Powers (does he count as a super hero?)
Favorite month: December
Favorite holiday: Arbor Day
Favorite holiday mascot (i.e. Santa, Easter Bunny): Leprechaun
Favorite season: Winter
Favorite color: Aqua
Favorite number: 12, 13, 24
Favorite band, group, and/or artist: Eminem, Blink 182, Foo Fighters, Snoop Dogg, Limp Bizkit
Favorite type(s) of music: Hip-hop, punk, swing, ska, alternative, r & b, techno, electronica
Favorite song: "B**** Please" by Snoop Dogg and "Back That Azz Up" by Juvenile, as well as "Learn to Fly" by Foo Fighters and "Higher" by Creed
Favorite movie soundtrack: Rush Hour, Friday
Favorite radio station: Jammin' 95.5 (Portland's new hit music radio station), 94.7 KNRK (Portland's new rock alternative), but also 107.5 the Beat once in a while
Favorite Spice Girl: Who cares, their singing sucks and they're all ugly
Favorite vacation: SunRiver
Boxers or briefs: Boxers
Would you rather be invisible or fly: Fly
White chocolate or milk chocolate: White
Cinema movie or at home movie: Cinema unless at home with a hot girl
If you could be with one person right now, who would it be: A certain female (you know who you are, I think)
And where would you be: Italy
If you had one billion dollars, what's the first thing you'd buy: Waverunner or an electric guitar
Dog or cat: Cat
IMs or chat room: IMs
Jeans or other kind of pants: either/or . . . I don't care
Baggy, regular, or tight pants: Semi-baggy
Short or long hair: Short (Medium (shoulder length) brunette for girls)
If you could get a tatoo, where and what would it be: I don't think I'd get one anymore
If you could get a piercing, where would it be: No where
PC or Macintosh: PC
Psychics, real or fake: FAKES
Would you mind being a nerd if it made you a multi-billionaire: Wouldn't care at all cuz you could buy friends
If you had to kill someone, how would you do it: I'd do it like Sarah would, stab them with an icicle so the evidence would melt away.
Favorite era (i.e. 40s, 60s): swingin' 60s baby, yeah! and 90s