By Richard H. Brant, August 1994.
Quite recently, I suddenly decided that what I really wanted to do was start dressing like Rocko from Rocko's Modern Life. First, because I really dig Rocko; and second, because my co-workers are not yet completely convinced that I am losing my mind.
As any 'Rocko' fan knows, Rocko's wardrobe consists primarily of blue Hawaiian-cut shirts with purple triangles. As I have never noticed a pattern quite like this in any of the local shops, it was quite obvious where I should start this quest - I would visit my tailor in Hong Kong and ask him if he knew where they could be found.
I entered Nelson Lin's tailor shop at the Far East Mansion in Tsim Sha Tsui armed with a photo of Rocko taken just as his friend Heffer is about to dump a large pile of mail on top of him. Nelson is one of the more honest tailors in Hong Kong and he wasn't going to try to pull anything over on me - he had never seen that pattern before. He suggested that I check the department stores in China, and if I find the fabric, he could make the shirts for me.
China of course, was where I was headed to begin with - my company sends me there quite a bit (you didn't really think I flew all the way out there just to find 'Rocko' shirts did you?). I cruised the department stores and although I did find green squares on yellow fabric, there were no purple triangles to be found.
I returned to Hong Kong and Nelson bought me some curried chicken. I told him I was going to ask every tailor that jumped out at me in the streets about the fabric - If I couldn't find the fabric, at least I could mess with some Hong Kong tailors. Nelson thought it would be a great idea.
Hong Kong has some fairly aggressive tailors. They like to jump out, grab you, tell you they will make you very nice shirts and suits, and offer you a beer as they drag you into the shop. My first victims were waiting on the next corner - two brothers from India. As soon as I was within grabbing distance, the sales pitch was on. "I make very nice shirts for you! Nice suits!" I told them I was looking for a special shirt - this excited them and they started dragging me towards the shop. I broke free and told them this would have to be a Hawaiian-style shirt. "Hawaii style shirts no problem! Very nice shirts!" I told them it would have to be blue. "Blue shirts! Very nice!" I told them it would have to have purple triangles on it "this big."
The brothers were perplexed. "Triangles?" "Yes, triangles...this big." The shorter of the two started shaking his head. "No - no purple triangles." The other still wanted to make a sale. "Perhaps we could put patches on it?" "Patches...maybe" the other chimed in. I told them I wanted the triangles printed on. They gave up and told me they could not do it. I thanked them for their time and told them if they ever found anything like it, they should put it in the window so I could see it if I walked by. I left them, mostly because the old lady working the front door of the topless bar next door had grabbed me by the back of the collar and was trying to drag me inside. I retreated back to the hotel (never fall for that "Nicejacketwhereyoufrombuymedrink? thing).
I tried other tailors with similar results. One finally told me excitedly that he could make it for me. The only problem was he never let me finish describing the shirt before he started pulling me into the shop. I tired of him quickly and told him I didn't think he could find the fabric. He got mad and said something very odd. "If you don't buy it from me you will not be able to afford it because you will have to go to Giorgio's!" Giorgio's?? Is it possible that a wallaby who works at a comic book store could possibly afford to shop at Giorgio's??
I am back in the states now. I never found my shirt. As soon as my schedule at work settles down, I'll read some books on fabric dying and send a couple of bolts out to Nelson and he will make the shirts for me.