Of the writer, the guys had their fill
'Til a thought of Art's gave John a thrill
But a plot about him
Changed on a whim
To a flick full of dolls that would kill
They can fix the bike, Chet and John claim
When they fail, Gage accepts all the blaim
Tommy gets it in parts
Yet he gets it to start
Putting two full grown firemen to shame
Though his track days are far in the past
Back in high school John ran very fast
Roy wants him to train
But it leads to great pain
Guess the "greyhound" had galloped his last
Johnny spotted a skateboard quite near
But ignored Roy's advice to stay clear
On a cactus he sat
An experience that
Ended up a big pain in the rear
When the DeSoto's go on a game show
Johnny figures their chances are low
It's no shock when he sees
Joanne miss on the peas
But he finds it odd Roy doesn't know
Though John knew he knew Roy pretty good
'Cause they work 'bout as close as two could
When put to the test
Of which veg Roy likes best
Who'd have thought he'd know more than Roy would
A big party, John helps organize
It's for Dixie, from all of the guys
But he's hurt on a run
And misses the fun
So it seems, 'til he gets a surprise
'Bout her gift and her big birthday do
Roy assured John, Dix hadn't a clue
After all, like he said
He'd been seven years wed
Bet Joanne sees right through the guy too
There's a bet who'll be first out with Daisy
That new nurse who drives all the guys crazy
Each thinks he's her pick
'Til they learn it's a trick
But at least she makes sure they're not lazy
Daisy makes her admirers pay
For a good cause they labor all day
Marco's warned that's his fate
When he askes for a date
If it is or not, he'll never say
When a joke went to far by a tad
Chester B. thought his eyes had gone bad
At last Johnny was frank
In admitting the prank
Which led Chet to deny he'd been had
Roy and Johnny are sure they need change
So, a vehicle swap they arrange
While Chet plants seeds of doubt
The deal's doomed, it turns out
When they each find their "new" car too strange
Taking photos is John's latest kick
Of his shooting, the guys are soon sick
They're impressed to hear tell
Of the one he did sell
Chet especially, since he'd captured that pic
At singing, our guys aren't the best
Through rehearsal they only regressed
But on the big day
They went on anyway
With their "comedy" all were impressed
Though to push on's the popular vote
Without Roy the guys can't read a note
Leaving them down the creek
From the prize that they seek
Lacking not only paddles, but boat
For a time John thinks Valerie's swell
'Til he learns things she didn't quite tell
It hurts him the worst
When she breaks it off first
Though for best, getting dumped is still hell
Their old engine, restored 'til it gleams
Is a parade-winning shoo-in it seems
Then fate plays a trick
With a tumble of brick
But can't quite smash John and Roy's dreams
Though it gave he and Roy a big scare
When a rescue involved a mean bear
Johnny kept it at bay
With extinguisher spray
And displayed, for quick thought, a real flair
Yet another trainee is near cracking
Fearful that he's somehow lacking
But John, Roy and Brackett
Are sure he can hack it
If they weren't they'd have sent him off packing
It makes Roy and John a bit hot
When Cap's sub has regard for them, not
'Til his old methods fail
And their new ones prevail
Then his attitude changes a lot
Leading kids on a tour of Rampart
Is embarrassing right from the start
They make John feel dumb
Wanting knowledge, not gum
When did ten-year-olds get so darned smart?
A puzzling sphere messed with John's head
The secret, Lorenzo had said
To the universe and all
Could be found in the ball
But made in Japan's all it read
The baseball game should have been fun
But it's not for the men of 5-1
Between Johnny's bet
And bad pitching from Chet
They're out nine bucks each when it's done
When a rodent disturbed Chester B.
A reluctant dispatcher was he
They all heard the snap
Yet, no mouse in the trap
But it soon took the hint and did flee
When it seems to be Idiot's Day
Johnny's patience is beginning to fray
Of weeding out clods
Who divert all the squads
For no reason, he's sure there's a way
A new show was the obvious goal
About LA animal control
A goat to Rampart
To work on its heart?
I want back that hour it stole!
On to Season Five
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