The best part about my job is knowing that I've helped so many people. Below are just a few of the 1000's testimonials I get every week from Mountain Dewaholics, that were once just like you! If you would like to add a testimonial, just Email Me!
***Go Back to Mountain Dew Anonymous***
Before I started this program my life was in shambles. I only drank one Mountain Dew per day, and as a result became very slow and sluggish after lunch and slept almost 8 full hours per night. It seemed that while others were getting ahead, I was at a stand still. But now, thanx to Mountain Dew Anonymous, I drink almost 8 cans of Mountain Dew per day, and sleep less than 2 hours per night! I get so much work done so quickly, that I have already been promoted twice this year! I owe it all to Dr. Dew and Mountain Dew Anonymous!
Thank Your and God Bless!
Jeremy Henger
I was never popular in school. Most girls would not even talk to me, much less go out with me. I wasnt very confident in my Mountain Dew consumption either. I didn't feel I was man enough to "Do the Dew". But then I joined Mountain Dew Anonymous. I entered the subliminal message room every night before bed, and within 2 weeks I started slamming Mountain Dew's like they were water. And girls took notice too. I would slam one Dew, and a FINE piece of female would hand me another. Now I'm the most popular guy in school. I go out with 3-6 girls at a time so they can all experience the Mt Dew love machine that I have become!
Thanx Dr Dew!
Windburn Seymoore Winslow III.
Dear Dr. Dew-
My name is Susan Little. I am a Dewaholic. I am the lead singer in a band. We used to suck. But now after each band member has gone threw your program, we rock. Before we perform we each drink like 8 Mountain Dew's each, then we go out and play like mad men (women). Yesterday we signed our first record deal with a semi-major label. We will dedicate our first album to you, by naming it "Dr. Dew's Mountain Dew Dream Machine".
Sincerely,
Susan
Dear Dr. Dew,
I think you suck.
Anonymous
Hi!
I never knew a single beverage could have such an impact on my life! I always thought I was a good person, but I was always getting in to trouble. My priest even said I had a "strong bind with the devil". Of course, during this same time period I was drinking Kick, Mellow Yellow, and even ::gasp:: surge. I did not realize that by drinking these things I was actually putting pure evil in to my blood stream. Now, thanks to Mountain Dew Anonymous I see the error in my ways. I have abandoned all liquids except Mountain Dew, and I havent got into trouble once since I started! Now my priest no longer calls me "Damian", and instead tell's me "Your a thread of light, in a world of Darkness." Thank You, Mountain Dew!
Marc S.
I used to be a Dewaholic. Sure I have the Dew pager I got with Ten proofs and 35 bucks, posters, and greenish yellow teeth; but I still had that nagging urge to sleep. Now that I have taken your course, I can make any part of my body shake and convulse(including my teeth), count the cracks and holes in any wall, and sleep will be completely impossible until they can pry me off the wall. Thank you Dr. Dew!!!!
Mahalo, Aloha, and a Hui Hou!!!!
Sincerely Kanaka JB 5150
Dear Dr. DEW,
I would like to take this time to thank you for all of the time and effort that you have donated towards this haven for Dew drinkers like us. I frequent this site quite often, this way I know that I'm not alone in my obsessions. Well I won't take up any more of your time. Thank you once again!
Fellow DEW Drinker......
Mark Stinson
Mountain Dew, Oh Mountain Dew
open wide and pour it through.
Floatin' 'tween the yellow and green
are tiny bubbles of caffeine
Another reason it's wonderful is
there's loads of sugar in that fizz.
Grab a cold one in your hand
in plastic,glass, or aluminum can
A taste both bold and yet sublime
half past lemon and quarter to lime
See the bubbles that upward float
until you pour it down your throat
Whereupon, the marvelous stuff
will have you feeling up to snuff
Ready to rock and ready to roll
so drink and drink until you're full
Imitators come fast and thick
like mello yellow, surge, and kick
Some just never can seem to ever get through
their head that nothing else is DEW!
-Christopher Hallaxs
Sincerely Yours,
Peter Hawley
(PS: My girlfriend, Pixie, thanks you as well!)