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Building and Avoiding AIDS

Lynne displays her first machined part: a fish-mounted tube

The Wainfan's daughter, Katie, liked to cruise around Chino airport in her stealth walker, designed and built by Lynne.

What would your wife say -- and I put it that way knowing that 97% of KITPLANES readers are male -- if you came home one day and said, "Honey, I think I'd like to build an airplane!"? If she's anything like me, she would anticipate the long hours of work, the mess it will create, the money for all the materials and tools, and the risk of your first test flight. You probably wouldn't see her jumping for joy.

When my husband, Barnaby, and I first discussed the possibility of building this strange airplane he had designed, called the Facetmobile, it took a lot of discussion for me to get excited about helping him with it. We had a 1-year old daughter, full time engineering jobs, and other hobbies that took our spare time.

The Payback

But I remember vividly the day I realized that I had done a good thing by helping Barnaby realize his dream -- the day he flew our airplane for the first public event, a small airshow at Flabob Airport in California. I was waiting for him at the airshow and getting a little concerned. He was overdue and the fog was rolling in when I heard the sound of a distant but familiar two-stroke engine.

A few more people heard it and searched the sky for the source of the strange sound. I saw a hand go up, pointing, then another, then another, and the energy level of the thousand-or-so audience gradually increased. I heard, "There it is!" "Wow!" "What the hell IS that thing?" "Look at that, will you!" "I've never seen anything like that before," and my daughter jumping up and down, clapping, saying, "That's my daddy!" A field of raised arms pointed at the Facetmobile, as in salute, and within a few seconds of the landing, the plane was surrounded, 10-deep, by anxious admirers.

Reality Check

Going from "Let's build an airplane" to that first airshow wasn't always easy, but if Barnaby had been fighting me and the technical challenges along the way, we might not have made it.

During the building and flying of the Facetmobile, I learned some things about husbands and wives working together that might be helpful to others. Maybe some of the things I learned can help you to get and keep your wife involved with your project. Failing that, you might find the female perspective useful for dealing with the resistance you might encounter about starting your airplane.

In the Beginning

First, let me give you some background about the difficulties of our project. We worked almost every weekend -- one of us building while the other took care of our daughter, made lunch, did calculations. At first, it was difficult to make the 45-minute drive to the hangar each Saturday and Sunday, as we had lots of other chores and things to do. I was feeling guilty about being a working mother to my daughter, and time seemed more precious than money.

Then there was the issue that on Monday through Friday at work I was the boss, and on the weekends I was the low man on the knowledge totem-pole. It was tough for em to take when I would slip when using a screwdriver and Barnaby would cringe and suck air.

Celebrating Facetmobile's first flight: Barnaby and Lynne Wainfan, test pilot Peter Lert and partner Rick Dean

Some Changes

Very often, our egos got in the way, until we figured out how to work together. After a few months, by working as hard on getting along as we were working on building the plane, we came up with a working arrangement that went smoother. The final result was a radical, original-design aircraft rolling out of the hangar 2.5 years after we started cutting metal. Barnaby realized his dream of flying the plane to Oshkosh, where it won the "dead-grass award" at show center, was featured on the cover of three national magazines, including this one, and has been written about in 12 countries, in over 30 publications.

If we hadn't learned some lessons along the way, we would still be building, or Barnaby would be building by himself with me jealous of the time he was not with the family. Her are some of the things we learned:

Tell your wife why you want to build an airplane. Do you have a goal in mind, such as flying to Oshkosh and showing the plane? Do you want to take a flying vacation? Are you doing this to prove to yourself that you can do it?

Having this discussions might have three results:

1. Your dream might be contagious; telling someone about your dream frequently gets them excited about tit, and wanting to share the experience of helping you reach it.

3. Avoiding comfortable misunderstandings. If your wife wants you to be able to fly the twins to visit Grandma, you'd better discuss the single-seat racer you're considering. It is much better to get an agreement about what you have in mind than to disappoint her halfway through the project. [editor's note: Lynne's twins were born 2 years after this article was written]

Other Details

Find out how your wife feels about you building an airplane. She may have concerns about your flying in general, and the thought of you flying something you have built might be very difficult for her. She may think you won't finish it, and instead it will be something that takes up room. She may be concerned about the cost of the project, or the time it will take to build it. It is important to get her to discuss these feelings.

avoid invalidating her fears with comments like, "That's silly; more people die in their bathtubs than in experimental planes." While it may be true, it will shut down the discussion without resolving her concerns. Sometimes just letting her talk and drawing her out will result in her sorting out her own issues, so make sure you get it all on the table before trying to address her concerns. One idea that has worked for me is to ask, "What would it take for this concern to go away?" rather than by assuring her it will go away. This gets her on your side, trying to fight a problem rather than you.

Describe the project. Let her know what to expect, such as how long it will take to finish the airplane, how much it will cost, and the top-level sequence of what will happen. Explain buying the materials, constructing the airplane, getting help if needed, the FAA examination, and test-flying the airplane for its required time. You might invite her to a local EAA chapter meeting so she could meet other people who are at different stages in their projects.

Break the job into specialties: If you have been able to get your wife's agreement to help with the project, you're a lucky guy. You will want to nurture that interest carefully, just as you would build a fire from a small spark.

It is very easy to either overwhelm your wife with tasks she is not prepared to do, or let her interest die by giving her the boring jobs. When we started, I had never built anything out of metal, and it was hard to figure out what tasks to give me. Fortunately, I am good at geometry, so I was assigned the task of writing a program for all of our calculators that told us the angle to cut when fitting the tubes together.

Later, my sewing skills were used as I made a test section to see what kind of thread we should use to attach the windows to the structure. I tested the sample to see if it would be strong enough by standing on it (proofload was one Lynne per square foot).

I had never used a milling machine before, so our partner, Rick, taught me how to use ours. We eventually formed specialties. Barnaby was the aero guy and vehicle designer and maker of re-entry burgers for lunch; Rick was the detailed mechanical designer and manufacturing engineer; Lynne made the parts and tried to keep the hangar picked up. Of course there was a fair amount of overlap, as we eventually learned from each other, but having these specialties made things run a lot smoother. It allowed us to naturally and efficiently work, but more, it was the basis for each of us to make decisions without egos getting in the way.

You might have to get creative about which jobs to give to your wife. Filing, deburring, organizing the shop, and cleaning the machinery are good places to start, but make sure you let her take on more responsibilities as she learns the basics.

Don't expect perfection: when I was using the milling machine, Rick let me make mistakes, not hovering over me, yet helping me recover the piece when I made minor mistakes. I remember hearing a friend of mine complaining that her husband didn't know how to put their daughter's hair into a ponytail, and I thought, "at least he's trying; don't tell him what a bad job he did, encourage him." The same is true with building airplanes; when safety is not an issue, allow a few mistakes and make sure your wife learns from them without getting discouraged. Better a broken drill bit than a damaged relationship.

Realizing a dream, the Wainfans answer questions at Oshkosh...Including "Is this a wind tee?

Patience Pays

Be patient. It took Rick longer to teach me how to use the milling machine than it would have for him to do the machining, but the up-front investment paid off after a few months, as he could work on other parts of the airplane. Our project had three partners, and sometimes we would get impatient when one of us thought someone was holding up progress.

the wheels and brakes we started with seemed to Rick to be too wimpy for the airplane. Even though Barnaby thought they were adequate, and I was eager to get the gear on the plane, Rick held out for Cleveland wheels and brakes. At the time, we were feeling impatient with Rick, but Barnaby blessed those wheels and brakes every time he landed crosswind. The point is that patience will not only keep you working as a team, but may allow some good decisions to be made.

Respect each other's contribution. One of the best things you can do to show your respect is to listen to your wife and let yourself be influenced by her. You may know more than she does, but sometimes a perspective from someone who isn't as knowledgeable is valuable.

Here's an example: Barnaby had designed the exhaust pipe to be straight so it was easier to install. When I crawled under the plane, as the pilot would have to do to get out, I noticed that it would be natural for the pilot to grab the hot pipe. Even though Barnaby had good reasons for the original, straight design, he changed the bends in the pipe.

Be sure to listen to your wife about other aspects of the project: if she has a feeling something isn't right, there may be something to it. Showing respect will also motivate your wife and give her the feeling that she is really contributing. Barnaby takes great pride in introducing me at Oshkosh as the person who machined most of the parts in the airplane. I take pride in that too.

A word of caution though: I remember someone coming into the hangar and loudly exclaiming how wonderful it was that a girl was running the mill and how lucky Barnaby was to have claimed me. In general, praise is a good thing, but there is a respectful way and a condescending way to praise someone.

Maintain Perspective

Take breaks and agree on priorities: At times we would get into this mode where we had to finish this part before leaving for the day, and by God we were going to do it. This was usually when we were tired and pushing a little too hard. While setting goals gives you a feeling of progress, remember that the long term goal is to get a terrific airplane built and have a great marriage.

It is very easy to aim your frustration at the person who ask, "How's it going?" Also, there may be times when one of you decides that you need a longer break from the project. You may need to finish some outside tasks, or your just want to take a vacation from the airplane for a while.

This is where the partnership with your wife will really pay off; we found that if one of us was slowing down, the other would either press n or be encouraging and supportive. Don't read your wife's need for a break as evidence that she will never pick up a screwdriver again.

Serendipity

I experienced a few unanticipated rewards as a result of our project: My relationship with Barnaby has gotten even stronger from the process of learning and working together toward a shared goal. Then there are the little, unexpected benefits also. My manual dexterity has improved significantly, and I enjoy going to airshows a lot more now.

We are planning a 20-year anniversary trip where we fly the second-generation Facetmobile around the country. We're hoping to add some more states to the list of places where the airplane has generated UFO reports.

Despite my concerns that we weren't spending enough time with my daughter, we have seen that she has benefited from the experience; when she was tested for kindergarten, the headmaster was pleasantly surprised when she knew every tool by name on his flashcards. More importantly, she and we have all learned about seeing a project through from conception to completion. My daughter has this perception (and we're getting it too) that anything is possible if you dare to dream and work hard to make it happen.

One aspiring Facetmobile builder said he would draw plans using the dead grass where the plane was displayed at Oshkosh as a pattern.

The End