[SwankiVY's
Religion page!]

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Welcome to my Religion Page

Well, as you can probably tell, this is not your average religion page. Not to convert you to anything or brainwash you with some kind of dogma . . . hehe . . . though many of these pages I'm linking to ARE for that purpose. If you'd like to read my thoughts and beliefs regarding religion, help yourself. But if you want to just browse these weird religions, that's fine too. Onward!

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[BOBOBOBOBOBOBOB]

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[dot]Church of the Subgenius! This is the only "organized" religion I really consider myself a part of . . . I'm a card-carrying Subgenius. Supposedly we'll all be gone someday, off to Planet X. Though now they've *changed* the date from July 5th, 1998, the original X-day . . . go fig. The Xists didn't come July 5th 1999 either, so then they started banking on XXX-day, July 5th, 2000. And so on. D'oh. Hmm, am I a fool for remaining loyal? I dunno, it worked for the Christians for more than 2000 years. Have you paid your thirty dollars to "Bob"? CAUTION: This page is very strange and somewhat disturbing at times, and it messes with your mind by changing every few days. Come get some SLACK!

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KEEP YOUR JESUS OFF MY PENIS!

[dot] Keep Your Jesus Off My Penis: A rather talented individual sings a song about what he thinks about religion's place in government. Wahoo!

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142 QUESTIONS FOR CHRISTIANS!

[dot] 142 Questions for Christians: Is not so much a "weird religion" page as it is a list of what's weird about Christianity. Very well-written--and if you're Christian you might want to read it and answer the questions yourself.

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THE BRICK TESTAMENT!

[dot] The Brick Testament: Now you can read the Bible, illustrated . . . with beautifully-made Lego scenes! (Not to mention that whoever makes this is . . . a tad sneaky with his messages sometimes.) Very funny and also informative!

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SATANIC HAMSTERS!

[dot] The Satanic Hamster Dance: You remember the cute dancing hamsters at www.hampsterdance.com, right? Well this is after they were converted to the Dark Lord. See how you like it.

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SKEPTIC'S ANNOTATED BIBLE!

[dot] The Skeptic's Annotated Bible: Here's the Old and New Testaments . . . linked to comments and whatnot pointing out inconsistencies and other absurdities in the documents much of the Western world bases their lives on.

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JEEZ FOR JOOZIS!

[dot] Jeez for Joozis! They say they are the one true religion. But at least they don't pretend they're not ridiculous.

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LANDOVER BAPTIST!

[dot] Landover Baptist! This is a parody of Christianity, though a lot of it is almost too close for comfort with the bigotry and prejudice displayed in the style of those who use Christianity as an excuse to persecute other people. You will find this amusing if you are as annoyed by those people as I am.

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TED JESUS CHRIST GOD!

[dot] Ted Jesus Christ GOD! Go here to read about how you should vote for this Ted guy for President of the USA, because, well . . . Ted is the Second Coming of Jesus Christ and the Creator and God and is REALLY TRUE and REALLY THE REAL ONE and if you STUDY THIS ENOUGH you will FIGURE OUT this is TRUE!

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GOD HATES SHRIMP!

[dot] God hates shrimp! You've heard how God hates homosexuals and all that junk right? Well, go here and read about God's feelings on those horrible unclean seafood creatures!

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JESUS WINKED AT ME!

[dot] Jesus winked at me! Try this. It is a religious experience.

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SEA MONKEY WORSHIP!

[dot] Church of Sea Monkeys! You must worship these . . . brine shrimp?

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ROLE-PLAYING = SATAN??

[dot]Are Role-players Satan Worshippers? Are there conspiracies against TRUE Christians? Is this site for real? Find out.

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[Old Deluder Satan]

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CHICK PUBLICATIONS!

[dot] Chick Publications . . . There is just no describing this one. Christianity is a rather prevalent religion, but you've never seen it like this. It makes a weird info-mercial out of the religion with its little cartoon pamphlets called "tracts," urging you to "Trust Jesus today! No one else can save you!" But . . . at what price? I recommend checking out the tracts and reading them. These things are unlikely to convert anyone and could even make people who are already Christian begin to think Christianity is quite silly.

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WHERE'S JESUS?

[dot] Where's Jesus? Do you think maybe you need to find Jesus? Well, you've never "found" him like this! It's "Where's Jesus?"--akin to "Where's Waldo?" Find Him and be saved!

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A SAINT FOR EVERYTHING!

[dot] Patron Saints: Not technically a "weird religion," but I think the fact that just about everything you can think of to pray about has a special saint from somewhere in history who handles those prayers is kind of amusing to me. I think of this like the big spiritual telephone book. Why call a plumber when I can just pray to St. Vincent Ferrer?

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THE MST-ING OF A CHICK TRACT!

[dot] Jack Chick gets MST-ed! Someone decided to take the cast of Mystery Science Theater 3000, and make them watch a Chick Tract instead of a bad movie. The Chick Tract examines D&D as an actual "gateway drug" into Witchcraft and tells you how you too can repent with Jesus. It's very amusing.

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BERT IS EVIL!

[dot]Bert is evil! Just go here to see absolute proof that Bert is not a kind, good muppet.

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THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!

[dot]Flying Spaghetti Monster! You see, if we're going to teach the "theory" of evolution, then we need to teach the "theory" of intelligent design, right? So says the Kansas Board of Education. But this isn't quite fair, because there isn't any representation at all for the OTHER theory of intelligent design: THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER, who touches us with HIS NOODLY APPENDAGE every day. Be touched!

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THE OFFICIAL GOD FAQ!

[dot]The Official God FAQ: All the answers you ever needed concerning the existence of God. Amazingly simple. Want to see why? Click.

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THE CHURCH OF RAYMOND!

[dot]Pandnotpian.org, the First Church of Raymond of the all-seeing myopic eye. Now, this church explains how it's silly to subscribe to other religions because they all contradict each other and each one has all these restrictive rules that can be broken once they become too inconvenient. The odds are against you having picked the right one, considering there's so many out there, so why not join the Church of Raymond? After all, in the Church of Raymond, you are assured that Raymond approves of everything you do, except for everything you do, which is nothing. It makes an awful lot of sense. . . .

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Background by Free-Clip-Images.com. Purple bullets by Ender Design, Inc. Animated firewalls found at The Animated GIF Finder.Subgenius images owned by the Church of the Subgenius; picture of Satan being squished by the Bible owned by Chick Publications.



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