Volume 39   Number 1                                                                                     September 1996

Contemplate something bad.

Take steps toward doing it.

Do it.

Feel guilt.

Start the cycle over.

Jesus never sinned, but when he said, "Everyone who sins is a slave to sin," he showed that he understood sin. The slavery, what modern man calls "addiction," has built-in "chains"; those of emotions and feelings that make sin seem attractive, even when it is obviously destructive.

Contemplating something enjoyable, yet unhealthy, has a certain drive of its own. Since the sensible person understands that he or she can win the "argument" against sin with reason and scripture, such safeguards are often put aside when contemplating sin. After all, the light of the truth can take all of the "fun" out of fantasizing, planning, and imagining.

So the more that the light of God is cast from the mind, the more the darkness of sin can grow, which might induce guilt, so more light is cast aside, etc. It's not that a person carried away in their sinful contemplation instantly loses the knowledge of God. Rather, they choose to take mini "vacations" of the mind, hoping that God will still be waiting at "home" when their minds return to spiritual things. Sin will appeal to the senses in some way; to lust, to greed, to pride. In other words, it feels good just to *think* about sin, as long as you can temporarily brush the guilt aside. So after a long contemplation of sin, or a long series of contemplation's, repentance can be a very depressing thing to do. Once the fleshly "high" you have been on is taken away, and the light of God shines on your mind once again, you will finally be able to feel the guilt you have been avoiding. Of course, Jesus can take that guilt away, eventually leaving you feeling healthy, sane, spiritual. But the temptation here is to go back to the quick "fix", where you felt high, in your own little land of make-believe, back to darkness and spiritual deprivation.

It should not take us by surprise when, after driving ourselves mad with fantasies and schemes, we find ourselves getting closer and closer to committing the act. There are always words spoken, "water" tested, steps taken, before the sin of the flesh has actually occurred. The sin of the flesh follows closely behind the sin of the heart.

Once you have finally done it, whatever it is, the guilt sets in. Guilt that God put in your heart to tell you that something has gone terribly wrong. A warning siren, a danger signal. But like the man who ignores the first signs of a heart attack, or the woman who drives around a "bridge out" sign, most people will deal with guilt by smothering it with more contemplation's of sin. After all, fantasy feels good, even if it kills you.

The cycle, the addiction, the slavery. Jesus spoke of it. But he also said, "If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." Jesus can break the cycle, no matter how many times you've been around the "circle," no matter where you're at in the "loop." Whether you're drowning in your thoughts, whether you're about to do something that will hurt your spiritual life, whether you're in the midst of sinful acts, or whether you're just feeling the pain of what you've already done. Jesus can set you free. Free indeed.