It has come to my attention that certain authorities actually support the omission of the ``serial comma''. I've always felt that people who wrote (in what is apparently the standard example) ``red, white and blue'' for ``red, white, and blue'' were careless or ill-informed.

I now learn to my horror that the ``comma before the `and' in such a series . . . has long been abandoned by newspaper editors'' (Harper Dictionary of Contemporary Usage, William and Mary Morris). Sure enough, the New York Times Manual of Style and Usage sez ``In general, do not use a comma before and in a series unless the other elements of the series are separated by semicolons: Automobiles, buses and trains were stalled.''

Have you ever seen anything so stupid in your life? What are these tone-deaf barbarians thinking of? Listen: ``buses and trains''. Now try ``automobiles, buses, and trains''. You can hear the comma. It's really there. Doing it their way makes it sound like ``automobiles, buses-and-trains''.

I've always hated this ugly mistake, but it had never even occurred to me that anybody might actually recommend it---never mind require it!

The King's English (H. W. & F. G. Fowler) says that the ``removal of the comma . . . makes so little difference that it is an open question among compositors whether it should be used or not''. As if the existence of differing points of view implies that the question is unimportant! Try this: ``abortion of the fetus . . . makes so little difference that it is an open question among citizens whether it should be allowed or not''. And anyway, what the heck is a usage manual for? Come on, guys, take a side!

Wilson Follett's Modern American Usage has a nice long article (four pages) on the subject, clearly in favor of the correct usage. Of the reasons for omitting the comma, ``Only one is cogent -- the saving of space. In the narrow width of a newspaper column this saving counts for more than elsewhere, which is why the omission is so nearly universal in journalism.''

Follett's also discusses a few examples, but for my money they're all needlessly complicated. My favorite example comes from Arthur D. Hlavaty's zine Derogatory Reference (#79): ``I would heartily recommend . . . Teresa Nielsen Hayden's Making Book . . . She can write fascinatingly about the serial comma, pointing out that its absence led to the remarkable book dedication, `To my parents, Ayn Rand and God'.'' This example should be decisive. Who cares if it's probably apocryphal?

There are other references to serial commas in DR. The editor works as a (temp and freelance) copy editor and likes to complain of his pet peeves with bad software and sloppy writers. I just figured this was one we had in common.

I can't get over it. It's as if I had learned of a society whose customs required people to pick their noses in public.

I'm grateful to Misti Crow and Alden Scott Crow for bringing this revolting state of affairs to my attention. Their one-page monthly, Grammar Q & A, is available for the asking (send a stamp) from PMC Communications Box 1948 Fair Oaks CA 95628. Tell 'em Vlorbik sent you.