Here are a few thoughts that occurred to me over the holidays...
I'm really struck, again, by how difficult it seems to be for monogamous people and polyamorous people to understand one another. I'm biased, of course; I think I understand monogamy. But I don't understand why some people are so *vehement* about monogamy. I don't understand why some people seem to *need* monogamy so much in order to be happy. And I don't understand why so many monogamous people have such a difficult time understanding *me* -- understanding polyamorous people.
Some monogamists do try to understand polyamory, try to allow for it, and try to accommodate it. I'm glad they're willing to do that. I really *am* glad. But it seems so difficult for them! That surprises and puzzles me.
On the issue of marriage: I read columns or articles written by people who just can't grasp the possibility of any kind of marriage that isn’t monogamous, isn’t *exclusive*. "If you aren't going to be sexually exclusive, why bother getting married?" That is their primary criterion for marriage, it seems. Whereas, for me, exclusivity (or not) is secondary to love and commitment. Curiously, I realized over the holidays that I really do prefer "mating for life" -- I just prefer mating with several people, not one. And if my life-partners want to also be partnered for life with others, I support them in that.
Why does that seem so strange to other people?