At our April meeting - the day before Easter - we will be including egg coloring at our meeting, for the children of our members.
But - isn't polyamory an "alternate lifestyle"? Is it healthy for children to be "exposed" to it?
Well, first: The children play in another room while we discuss polyrelationships in the living room. Second: When we let the children join us, towards the end of our meetings, we moderate our discussion a bit to be "age-appropriate."
But we are concerned primarily with relationship issues, not sexual issues. So why exclude younger people from the house?
Consider the following facts, taken from the April issue of Discover magazine:
In the Barí tribe of Venezuela, a child can have several fathers. The Barí believe a fetus must be regularly bathed in semen during pregnancy. At first, anthropologists assumed that the "biological" father would be jealous of the other fathers. They were very careful to interview the mothers while the fathers were "away". Then they met a father who, with a wide grin, reminded his wife about one of her lovers. The anthropologists realized that their monogamist "assumptions" had biased them.
Indeed, the Barí attitude towards sexuality is quite different from Judaeo-Christian-Islamic standards. "Once she has completed her puberty ritual," says Stephen Beckerman, "a Barí girl can have sex with anyone she wants to, as long as she doesn't violate the incest taboo. It's nobody's business, not even Mom's and Dad's business."
And among the Na tribe in southern China: "Often women have sex with so many partners that the biological father is unknown." The Na have no discernable concept of "father" or "husband".
No fathers or husbands? Is the "Patriarchy" to blame for monogamy? Can we choose to live more like the Barí and the Na? Should we?
Someone once told me, concerning the ritual use of "drugs"/"medicine" among indigenous peoples: "Their culture provides a context for such things, while ours doesn't." But couldn't we develop a context? Or would this be "cultural theft" or..."going native"?
Well, the other day I asked a colleague at work, did she think my boss would object if I wanted to start wearing robes to work (a few of our students wear Middle-Eastern apparel around the college - we're very supportive of "diversity")?
"Just tell him you've changed religions," she told me.
I wonder...