South Bay Poly Essay #112 (May 2004)

"A Unitarian-Universalist Poly-Pagan Homebody"

I remember, when first becoming a Pagan, reading a quote from some story about Pagans, written by non-Pagans. It talked about “bored suburbanites dancing naked around a nine-foot circle in their living room.”

When I came out as poly in my Unitarian-Universalist church, I remember friends making remarks like:

“I know you like to push the limits. How many other things are you going to come up with?”

When I tried to put a very short note about polyamory in the church newsletter, the editor refused. “I think it’s inappropriate to advertise in the newsletter for others with your sexual tastes.”

And when – after a year – the board finally allowed me to write about polyamory:

“This is obviously just a codeword for promiscuity. If we accept this thing into our church, how will I ever be able to invite my neighbors to attend?”

And the people who think I only want attention.

Truth is, I’m a Unitarian-Universalist Poly Pagan Homebody. I enjoy going out – to movies and concerts and on vacations; but I’m not particularly driven to excitement or sex or danger. I like attention but prefer love. I like being with the people I love. I’ve spent a great portion of my life staying home.

In many ways, I’m a homebody. I just want my home to include several love partners, several life partners.

I was never after attention or notoriety. I only wanted to speak honestly about who I am, and live quietly with those I love.


Copyright 2004, William Albert Baldwin