When people talk about polyness, they're usually assuming that polyness involves sexual relationships with more than one person. But even if you don't become sexual with more than one person, you still may have an "open marriage", according to the original concept of open marriage advanced in the book by Nena and George O'Neill back in the 1970's. And if you believe that polyness is more about love than sex, wouldn't this be a form of polyness?
When Open Marriage originally appeared, a lot of readers and critics assumed that giving individuals a social life outside of their marriage implied outside sex. It is possible, however, to "see" people without having sex with them. You can go places together. You may even "get romantic" with one another.
For me this would be like prototypical teenage dating (though for some of you, that may mean "lots of sex"!). For me it means knowing people I can do fun things with, getting to know them better and maybe even falling in love with some of them.
I'd like to see more appreciation for this aspect of polyness, and less emphasis on sex -- though not necessarily on sexuality. One of the traits of our American culture is to think you can't be "sexual" without having intercourse (vaginal, anal, or oral). But there are many ways to be sexual. Instead of belittling them, we should encourage them, because they are enjoyable in themselves, and carry much less risk of picking up STDs.
Not only that -- I like dating in its own right. I like going places and having fun with people. And I like getting physical with the people I have fun with. But that doesn't mean I want to actually "have sex" with them, or make a long-term commitment to them. I might -- but I might not.
This is in the best "dating" tradition, where you may "date" many people, but only have sex with a special few; and only attempt to build a family-unit with a very few indeed.