“It was the best of themes, it was the worst of themes…”
Some polyfolk live in a big house with lots of partners. Others, like me, live with their legal partner and “date” (what does that word actually mean?) the others. As I told one of my loves the other day:
“You know, if you and me and P and Y and M1 all lived together, along with their partners A and M2 and J…we’d probably develop some synergy…”
Partner, by then, had already interrupted my explanation with a prolonged maniacal scream, provoked by the thought of so many people getting in each other’s hair.
In my case, I date my lovers individually. They have little contact with one another, and I have minimal contact with their own partners.
Which just means…my own polyscheduling involves determining everyone’s (including my wife’s) schedules, so I can figure out when to see her, her, her, or…her (or her). Rather than saying: “Hey, gang: Why don’t we all just converge at 6 p.m.” It’s daunting, at times.
“Hey man, I’m working on it…”
In another arena…
…
Last weekend I attended (yea, verily, helped to run) the 2nd East of Eden writing conference in Salinas (home of John Steinbeck). Naturally I was brain-dead by the time (almost 24 hours into the conference) when I got the chance to snare an agent. My friends and I had been debating whether I should refer to the lead character of my novel as an “American Misfit” (my original idea) or as a “Polyamorous Pagan American” (“And what exactly do you mean by poly-pagan, Mr. Baldwin?”). I chickened out and went with the first (I’ve never pitched to an agent before). He seemed a bit surprised at the number of lovers attached to my married-couple-protagonists. He also somehow concluded, from my description of the novel’s background, that I was writing a political thriller! The Agent-Search goes on…
However, two of the conference workshop instructors quite encouraged me (“It sounds like a picaresque novel.” Well, at least that would -- allegedly -- put it in the company of Huckleberry Finn, On The Road, and Tom Jones -- and, some would say, any novel with an Anti-Hero who sneers at conventional society and morals).
Another speaker inspired me to re-polish Chapter 1. I read this revision to our Open Mike last evening. The characters now actually explain what polyness (and, to a lesser extent, paganism) is. Before, they just alluded to it. The listeners did not recoil in horror. Perhaps we are making progress? Actually, the audience said nothing at all. But they applauded (or did they? I was brain-dead!).
I feel self-conscious. More and more writing workshops teach me how to – well, the equivalent of how to turn up the contrast and brightness on your television or computer monitor. Or how to turn your stereo’s bass and treble both up to maximum, along with full volume. People still remember my first chapter reading from the 2000 Asilomar conference. I don’t know what they think of it; but at least they remember it.
And that’s something, I suppose!