Feedback to last month's newsletter topic ("veto power", etc.) left me pondering how it might be possible for people of different attitudes, needs, and persuasions to get along together and even cooperate for the good of everyone. There are certainly different attitudes towards "veto power" within the poly community. The whole question of "veto power" arises because there can be different opinions on important topics even within a single family. Then there is the whole issue of the place of the poly community within the wider culture.
I want to enable poly families. I want to contribute to polys being able to live safely and openly. On a grander scale, I would like to help create a world where polys and monos respect one another and work together. But how can we create such a world?
A basic current fact is polyphobia. Many monos think of polys as immoral. They think that polys can't control their sex drives. Or they think that polyness means men exploiting women for their own sexual satisfaction.
Many monos feel threatened by polys. They may find polyness repulsive. They may think that polys want to steal their mates. They may believe that the mere existence of polys will somehow corrupt their children.
I think of the monos I have "come out" to. Two women who had been my good friends for over ten years will have nothing to do with me now, because I confessed I had considered relationships with them. A woman at my church told the congregation she was "embarrassed" by my polyness; a man stated that "polyness" was obviously a codeword for "promiscuity". I was essentially ostracized from the gay-lesbian-bisexual group I helped to form. I was badgered off of a religious newsgroup.
Well. But I can imagine a society which accepts both monos and polys. Where polys and monos not only tolerate one another but actually help one another's families. Yes -- where poly families and mono families enjoy one another's company. Where children from poly families are not afraid to talk about their mothers and fathers to children of "traditional" mono families. Where polys can proudly talk about their families in the workplace, in the churchplace, in schools, in social gatherings like childcare and scouting.
I like this "poly-enabled" idea!