Feelings Made Manifest
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TWO GEORGIA GENTLEMEN
His name is Steve, his manner gentle
His life not easy, but his philosophy simple.
His tender looks and compassionate touch
Told me he cared, showed me how much.
His life has been devoted to raising his child
And he has done it so well, embuing manners so mild.
His child is called David, now actually grown.
Clearly rock solid, well rounded with goals of his own.
We had eight days together, my how time did fly
As our hears touched and minds met, direct eye to eye.
Seemed so natural the way things flowed between us three
As if I had always known them and they had known me.
They touched me in spirit, heart, mind and soul
In ways they didn't realize, how could they have known
That because of knowing them my life had changed
Definitely for the better, I"ll never be the same.
David told me, through his honest eyes and glowing smile
That he would not his, nor another's life defile
And having felt him gives me hope for life's tomorrows
Then in some ways helped to relieve my own loss and sorrows.
Steve such a dear one, in heart and soul not just in charm
Embraced me completely with his being and in his arms.
Our spirits share something I've not known before
How quickly I have come to respect and adore
Only god know what the future will bring
All ready dear friendships, perhaps someday rings
But without doubt, for sure, after being their guest
My life for the better has changed, I am truly blessed.
I don't know when God will bless us with being together again
But until HE does, our hearts will be joined as friends
So, I will keep them in my prayers for happiness and then
That HE keep them safe, these two Georgia Gentle Men.
Kerry
June 22, 1999
TENDER DANCE OF DESIRE
In the wee hours of the morning
Before I curl up to fall asleep,
It is you that I think of
So in my dreams your company I keep.
Where did you come from?
How did you get here so fast?
It must be just an illusion.
This kind of thing can't last.
How do you make me lose my words....
Can't think what to say,
Make my heart beat faster,
Take my breath away?
How have you seen so deeply
The part of me most do not see?
How can I know your touch
Though you have never touched me?
Your gentle breeze covers me
Like whispers on my skin.
How can such a breeze fan such a FIRE?
It is true, you must be the WIND!
Last night you took me to places
I had never gone before.
Yes, your fire of passion burns like mine,
You spoke of it so sure.
So now come dance with me, the WIND
Do as you will with the flames of my FIRE.
Penetrate my heart and soul with yours,
As we begin this tender dance of desire.
Kerry
5-31-99
HOW LONG CAN YOU STAY?
This life is a party but no invitation needed
To gain entrance simply be there, take you place and be seated.
Stay long enough to greet all the guests, charm them with your smile
And even though it is come and go, please won't you stay a while?
Dear little one how did we live before you came to be
Before you filled so many lives with your flair for drama and comedy?
Come entertain us with your fashion show as proudly we will smile
And even though it is come and go, please sweetheart stay awhile.
Oh precious little girl, beautiful woman you have come to be
Was only yesterday you curled in your dad's lap or bounced upon his knee.
Come tell us of your new friend's, the special one that makes you smile
And even though it is come and go, please dear stay awhile.
Oh beautiful soul, were life but a day, you weren't even here until noon
Not within reach, not so much as a hug, their greed made you leave us too soon.
Come to us, we need you, sweet angel of light and tell us how it will make us smile
And even though here it was come and go, there we will be together awhile.
In Loving Memory of Hannah
Kerry
3-21-99
LET FREEDOM RING
No matter where you might go in this world
You will not hear the ringing of freedom,
Until first you are able your own flag to unfurl
And be the keeper of your own kingdom.
There will be no liberty of the truest kind,
If you cannot from your soul sing.
Look inside you and search until you find
The place where your own freedom rings.
I have known many in this land of the free and the brave
Who by their own tyranny themselves supress.
To their work and their possessions they themselves enslave
And keep greed and indifference as permanent guests.
And I have known others from dictators they escaped
And brought with them their freedom from within.
And not knowing the confines of the new life they embraced
Forged ahead without the shackles we invent.
Throughout history civilization would dictate
Those who are to own and those to be possessed.
But many is the owner who carries a ball and chain,
While those that he owns with free hearts have been blessed.
No there will be no liberty of the truest kind
Until from your soul you can sing.
Perhaps then as one body, soul, heart and mind
The world would hear true freedom ring.
Kerry
11-6-98
WHAT WAS THE QUESTION?
The only thing worse than not knowing the answer
Is
Not knowing the question!
If you don't comprehend the assignment
How can you
Learn the lesson?
So many twists and turns
We must take
Then lose all sense of direction....
No answers, no reason
To my life..
God please repeat the question?!?
Kerry
11-15-98
I KNOW THE ANSWER
It hurts, I weep. It stabs I bleed.
"How much longer", I ask "must my heart be alone?"
It lies, I believe. It laughs, I'm decieved.
Where is it taking me, must I try to go on?
It touches, I feel... though an illusion never real.
It draws me in....Can my heart find its home?
It speaks, I can hear. I listen, void of fear.
I want to answer but with a sigh it is gone.
It flashes, I blink. A glowing sign or so I think.
Just a mirage....or truly a treasure of my own?
It's sweet taste is on my lips, then too soon it quits.
So quickly it became another memory, it has already flown.
Then in its place a musty smell, in this damp, near empty well
That once was my heart over flowing with love to give someone.
Leaving all my senses stripped, imprisoned my will in its vice like grip.
I cannot move, slowly I am turning into stone.
It lied, I believed. It laughed, I was deceived.
Time and again in circles it has taken me, I can't go on.
It hurt, I did weep. It still stabs but I no longer bleed.
I now know the answer, my heart will be alone.
Kerry
10-28-98
THE EVE OF MY WEDDING
I should have known our destiny was doomed
As we prepared for the alter this blushing bride and groom.
One after another the trick or treaters came that eve before we wed
I thought just a funny little nuisance, not a sign of bad things ahead.
But those ghosts and goblins and witches must have cast their spell
For almost as soon as it started that union came straight from hell.
The cauldrons must have been hot that night with the bubbling, boiling brew
And twas a wicked chant they sang, so their curses would come true.
His costume was pleasant and his mask appealing
But the horrors that lurked which that mask was concealing...
Twas the insatiable thurst for a different foaming, pungent brew
That turned him into people and to things he wouldn't ordinarily do.
More than five years I stayed, under the curse of that halloween night.
Five long years I was captured, before I flew free from the fright.
And from it through the years in my closet you could find
Shadows and secrets and skeletons ... every shape and every kind.
And so my children from these lessons take heed
So that upon the exchanging of vows to a happy life it will lead.
Yes children choose wisely a mate peaceful and serene
And never let the eve before you wed fall on Halloween!
Kerry
10-23-98
GO HOME
So many times I came here
And I waited.
I waited hopefully, happily,
searchingly, helplessly.
But I waited, time after time
-----I waited.
I believed so many times.
I believed
innocently, trustingly,
painfully, foolishly.
But time after time
----I believed.
I cried, so many times
I cried
sorrowfully, angrily,
mournfully, unashamedly.
But time after time
----I cried.
I left, so many times
I left
certainly, quickly,
blindly, numbly.
But time after time
----I came back.
One day, only one time,
I will hear that voice saying
commandingly, coaxingly,
unrelentingly, surely
"Go home and don't look back
What was once here for you was not real
and it is gone...Go home!"
----and emptily I will ascend to the heavens.
Kerry
INTERLOCKING CIRCLES
I am no stranger to the movement
Running in many circles for someone else's dreams.
Trying to find the answers,
There is no room for mine it seems!
Around so many circles
That take me there and back.
Each one interlocked with another.
It's so hard to keep track!
Given a choice of circles,
Just what would my choice be?
Is there really a circle
Encircling some tranquility for me?
A haughty social circle...no not my style.
Perhaps a circular table at which to visit and laugh and smile.
Or would it be on my finger an endless circle of gold,
A symbol that I found the soulmate of whom I'd often been told?
Or might it be a circle
Round a campfire flaming high,
Singing with friends, sharing our hearts
Under a starlit winter sky?
Oh my how to chose my circle
And all I would put within.
There are so many things
I can't possibly know how in the world to begin.
So I believe that I have decided
That I will remain content
With the circle that has forever surrounded me
So full it can never all be spent.
Filled with a sense of love and truth,
And a spirit to be free.
Staying within that circle
That is only on loan to me.
For it is made of those who love me.
Even those that have gone before.
And those that I have yet to meet
All bonded spirits, I cant ask for more.
So at peace I will sleep in my circle,
With God's angels watching over me.
Giving me strength and wisdom to handle
The future that is not mine to see.
Kerry
8-9-98
ONLY DREAMIN'
I made the world a better place today
By disposing of a megalomaniac demon
Done ever so quietly, pithing him
Then I wake up again, I was only dreamin'
He is holding me in his arms so tight
He is hurting me, I can't stand this feeling
I thought I was free and on my own
Then I wake up again, whewww I was only dreamin'
I am running to my locker wearing just a slip
Late for class, everyone laughin' and screamin'
Why does this happen to me at school each day
Then I wake up again, thankfully.....only dreamin'
Umm, he is looking into my eyes so deep
I know it's a kiss he's thinkin of stealin'
As he slips his arm around my waist.....
Nope I won't wake up.....I don't wanna only be dreamin'
Kerry
4-25-99
KiVA
It is the total that captures me
Spellbound in my trance like musings
It is the total that gives me everything
Yet leaves me yearning for all
I can name no single feature nor trait
Recall none that speeds my heart faster than another
I cannot separate the beauty received by my eyes
From that received by my soul
Only in receiving its totality
Am I able to begin the form
Of what has and will become
The lilt of my musings
Kerry
2-14-99
MULTIFACETED SILENCE
The numbing echos of silence
Leaving her stunned in her solitude
After his words and acts of violence
As he demands that she "lose the attittude".
The haunting chill of silence
He left too many things unsaid.
Never making an effort to try even once
To remove the echos from her head.
The soothing comfort of the silence
To sit with a friend and not have to talk at all.
Out of the blue, she appeared on a hunch
Somehow knowing your back was against the wall.
The soothing calm of the silence
Away from the pain and noise of the city.
A cloth on the ground for the picnic lunch
In a meadow of flowers green and pretty.
The electrical charge of their silence
As two lovers lost in each others eyes
Hold on for they know that they must
Never let this chance of a life time slip by.
So much was said in his silence
Their souls had already heard.
Their hearts in tune and vibrant
No need to utter a word.
An inaudible gasp in their silence
As the doctor said your baby will be ok.
This happy news doesn't happen much
You really got lucky today!
The multifaceted silence
Can be deafening with its force.
Or it can offer a cushion from heaven sent,
A reprieve to keep us on course.
Kerry
12-3-98
POGO STICK
The first time I got on a pogo stick
It was as tall as me
So I stepped up on a step and hopped on
And bounced up higher than the trees.
I could bounce so high and not be jolted when I came down
The others were taller but I could bounce as high as them
No longer cared if they called me small fry
I would just laugh and bounce and grin.
Without much space, back and forth , side to side
Then round in circles I could go
Or over and over, up and down in one place
That Tigger had nothing on me you know!
I have bounced in and out of my dreams
And sometimes those of others
I have bounced into my bed
And bounced from under the covers.
I have bounced over rivers and mountains
And over gorges and oceans
Bounced around forests and jungles
Even continents when I took a notion.
Oh I think I forgot to mention
I lost my pogo stick a long time ago
But I have kept my mind's springs well oiled.....
Tiger's got nothing on me ....you know?!?
Kerry
10-10-98
SYMPHONY OF THE MIDNIGHT SUN
In each other's arms our hearts blended as one,
As we warmed in the chill of the midnight sun.
Such a magnificent sound for our eyes to behold,
The resounding notes of crimson and gold.
As we marveled at the beauty and listened to the heavenly llight,
Our ears were filled with the silence of this blissuflly mystical night.
In your arms I loved you as my friend and I loved you as my brother,
Then for a fanciful moment, I loved you as my lover.
So often we are not together but these memories keep you dear to my heart,
At the times when I'm tired and lonely, and we're thousands of miles apart.
In closing of this devine creation, though the music will never be done,
I will cherish forever this silent melody--this Symphony of the midnight Sun.
Kerry
Summer, 1989
A KITE ON THE WIND
I happily watch you soaring.
Without wings you took flight.
Dipping and sailing and gliding
Up and down, round and round, left and right.
I envy your easy flow of directions,
Giving yourself freely to the wind.
Simply trusting whithout asking questions,
Remaining flexible so as not to break, only bend.
And then I liken myself to you.
For now and then someone comes along,
Who lightens me, making me feel new;
A baby's laugh, a little child's kiss, a lover's song.
Then for a short while they are my wind
And I sail for a moment, feather light and free.
But I know in no time my soaring will end,
For it is not their job to be the wind for me.
So I float back down for smooth landing.
I am ready to return the favors they lend.
Now on my own two feet I am standing
And for a little while, I shall be the wind.
Kerry
8-20-98
A FAMILY'S LAMENTATION
What if I had walked with her to the door that day?
Would her untimely departure have been held at bay?
Would God have let her stayed?
What if on the freeway she hadn't gotten turned around?
Would she not have wings and would her feet still be on the ground?
Would God still let her voice resound?
What if she hadn't come to read to the baby for a while?
To hug her and kiss her and make her laugh and smile?
Would God have kept her here and helped her through her many trials?
What if that damned freeway hadn't been such a mess?
Would she still be here among us and not layed to early rest?
Oh God why have we been put to this test?
What if the timing had been two seconds before?
Would she have exited quite freely to safety once more?
Would God have then left her to minister the causes she adored?
Oh God what if you had taken me, she had much more to give here than I?
Oh God would it not have been better to spare her and let it be me who died?
Oh God would you hear us now .....these tears of lamentation that we cry?
What if she could have stayed and met her life's next bend?
Oh but God.... the only thing worse than her coming to this tragic end....
What if our blessed, precious Hannah Laurie had never even been?
Kerry
7-22-98
LIFE'S WHISPERS
It gently brushed my cheek.
Was it only the wind?
Or was it the whisper of days gone by
And loves that might have been?
I felt the soft caress
Whispers from drops of rain.
Or was it really my tears
Letting go of lost love's pain?
I heard a whispered sigh
Saying, "You were right to let go."
Or was it perhaps a future love
Calling to me from heart and soul?
I hear them in my dreams
Whether sleeping or awake.
All the whispers reminding me
Love is out there that will not forsake.
Sometimes I wish t'would fall on my ear
Strong enough to hear echoes linger on.
So without a doubt I would know the source
Of the whispers from the past that put me on this course.
But alas it would not gentle be
To shout or scream these things to me.
So I will again trust the whispering, gentle voice
And try to live my life not to regret but to rejoice.
Kerry
July 27, 1998
WHISPERS IN THE WIND
Seemed a magical thing, that wind that caressed my skin.
Like butterflies fluttering their wings in rhythym with the melody
That carried through the night enchanted
The promises he whispered in the wind.
It was another time and another place,
A different wind that carressed a different me.
A different "he" who made those promises of old
With no hint of the heartache carried in that wind.
But the promises became lies sent screaming in the tempest.
Full of venom and bitterness and alibies delivered without a care,
For the heart they would break and the love they would turn to ashes.
He thought he could not, but in the end he lost...his whisper now an inaudible plea.
Oh but that is of the past for what is now whispered in the wind
Contains no promises to be broken that could again snuff out my dreams.
Such sensual things they have become, these whispers in the wind.
Enticing my mind with now....not yesterday or what tomorrow may be.
Kerry
4-11-99
LET LOVE HAVE ITS WAY
First thing in the morning as i lay me down to sleep
I hear the world unfold around me
As my thoughts turn into dreams in slumbers deep
First thing in your morning is the last thing in my night
You stretch and yawn and roll out of bed
As I roll in, stretch and yawn, turn off the light
First thing now this morning, before you leave for the day
Come back to me for a moment
Stay a while, do stay a while and let love have its way
Kerry
3-14-99
WEDNESDAY'S CHILD
According to the poem, Wednesday's child is full of woe.
But should I subscribe to that, my future is doomed I know.
Lord knows there has been enough to make me break but then,
Undoubtedly that would leave me in a much harder place to ever mend.
I have always been mature, accepting responsibilities before my time.
Realizing at a very young age that much of life is an uphill climb.
I have always known how to survive, and always known how to give.
Now I want to accept life's pleasures and really really learn to live.
Each time I get knocked down, I find a way to get back up.
And forever am analyzing the choices I've made, I don't leave much to luck.
I have already packed many lifetimes into this one I've been alloted.
For before I see the closing of one phase, the next one I've already charted.
I am blessed with many people who love me and a great capacity to love in return.
With passion and desire I have lived my life and from each minute I try to learn.
I vow not to be embittered or jaded, for I'll not leave this world with a heart of stone.
My greatest prayer is for guidance and comfort, I couldn't have done this alone.
I am quite a gambler, I usually play double or nothing, both in love and finance.
Much I have lost but more I have gained all because I dared take the chance.
I have prayed for the impossible and miracles been given, yes my faith is strong.
And in life's great riddle when stuck in the middle I get through it with a song.
When broken hearted, my soul seems past living, on angel's wings peace I'm sent.
In many forms & disguises it is for me to decipher just what the messages meant.
And oh ho I forgot to mention the mischief I can get in, always a gleam in my eye.
For what fun would life be if the imp that's in me weren't allowed to come out & fly?
In my experiences I've traveled, learned languages, been bedazzled
So much stress and hard work, many times have become frazzled.
More than once I've known intrigue, danger, suspense and romance
And I'm happy to say that up to today I haven't danced my last dance.
I have cried rivers of tears, I've been in arrears, and in love been used and abused,
Been betrayed by friends, and sometimes at loose ends, what else could I lose?
But long ago I learned not to say that it can't get worse,for I know that it surely can.
I also know it works the same in reverse, it can get better and that is my plan!
I never had children, to my sorrow and grief, mom will never be my name.
Yet I provide and nurture, I listen and learn, in my heart I'm a mom just the same.
It is my hope that soon I will be blessed with my true eternal soulmate,
And God willing rendezvous at the alter. Is a gift from above in my fate?
Now my eyes search this canvas on which I've painted my life.
Perhaps only I can see the nuances hidden among my joys and strife.
Odd it is, this confusion and contradiction that is my self portrait.
Tho 'tis I that brushed it 'cross this canvas, 'twas God who gave me the paint.
Kerry
August 28, 1998
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