The Weirdest Assist Ever

"Pull her up, I am still stuck in her chest." "Now there's a quote." - Gowain and Sage Tolli

This from the day weapon-HURLing was released, April 23 2001, wasn't really the weirdest assist ever. I'm sure the GHs and Sages have seen far odder in their days. But it was certainly the strangest things I've ever had to assist about. Read on...

Xeldria rubs a black crystal.

A small circular container suddenly appears and floats rather serenely over to Xeldria.

Her crystal suddenly disintegrates!

Xeldria says, "Oh my."

Xeldria points at cr Xeldria disk.

Xeldria gasps.

You laugh out loud!

[Hearthstone, Courtyard]
Before you stands a grand old manor, framed by huge willows to the east and west. The elegant trees sway gently, dappling the cobblestone courtyard with ever-shifting patterns of light and dark. Snippets of conversation drift away from the long porch stretching along the full width of the great old house, as several guests enjoy the hospitality and ambience of this fine hideaway. You also see cr Xeldria disk, the porch steps and a hollow tree stump.
Also here: Lady Xeldria
Obvious paths: south.

Xeldria exclaims, "It's deformed!"

Xeldria wails!

You laugh out loud!

Xeldria carefully diagnoses your injuries.

Xeldria whispers, "bleeding 9 per round, still staunched"

You nod to Xeldria.

Xeldria paces back and forth.

Xeldria whispers, "Hrm, time to wait for a host."

Xeldria paces back and forth.

Assists pending: 4
Premium assists pending: 6
Referrals pending: 6

Suddenly, there is a puff of smoke and a blinding flash of light as Tolli arrives to answer Xeldria's assist.

Your previous request is still pending. You are number 2 in the queue.
You may cancel your request for assistance at any time by typing ASSIST CANCEL.

You say, "Ah, you win."

Xeldria says, "I have many problems today."

Xeldria points at cr Xeldria disk.

Xeldria says, "It's deformed."

You say, "As does her companion."

Tolli blinks.

Tolli winces.

Xeldria sniffs.

Xeldria touches the disk lightly.

Xeldria says, "Poor disk."

Cravis says, "her is deformed toos."

Cravis points at you.

You say, "Right, I'm deformed too."

Tolli nods.

Xeldria nods.

Tolli says, "I've heard of this"

(Juspera points at her invisible wounds.)

(Tolli paces around the disk, eyeing it warily.)

Tolli says, "very strange"

You say, "This has got to be one of THE oddests assists I've ever done."

You say, "And it's not even mine."

Xeldria grins at you.

Tolli says, "I'll see if we can get those lazy wizards onto discovering what's happened to their disks"

Xeldria nods.

(Juspera bleeds invisibly on the ground.)

Xeldria says, "Now.. about this bleeding.."

Xeldria says, "The empaths can't heal it."

Xeldria says, "We can't see it."

Xeldria says, "But I can tend it."

Tolli says, "I've heard of that too"

You exclaim, "Then this is where I shake you by the shoulders screaming, DO SOMETHING!"

Xeldria unwraps her bandages.

Xeldria says, "Look."

Xeldria says, "Um."

Xeldria says, "I'm not bleeding anymore."

Xeldria frowns.

Xeldria asks, "Am I?"

Xeldria raises an eyebrow.

You ask, "What about me?"

You see Lady Xeldria Elyora the Half-Elf.
She appears to be in her 130's, has long, braided black hair, green eyes, and fair skin.
She has several long intricate braids of silky black hair intertwined with strands of tiny sparkling crystals, a golden symbol of Phoen tattoo on her arm, and a tattooed symbol of Voln on her ankle.
She is in good shape.
She is wearing a gold ring, a crisp white bonnet festooned with fragrant irises, a pair of white gold eyeglasses, a crystal amulet, a glass amulet, a heart-shaped golden eahnor locket, a cleric's spidersilk satchel, a tiny amethyst iris bouquet pin, a soft white wool sweater, a furry golden-brown hamster charm, an elegant Phoen charm, some brightly polished battle armor, a golden sunburst ring, a flowing challis dress hand-painted with delicate iris blooms, some sheer spidersilk stockings, a pair of soft white-laced boots, and a brilliant gold-plated shield.

Xeldria says, "Yep."

Xeldria says, "Chest still bleeding."

Xeldria struts about.

Xeldria points at you.

Xeldria winces.

You stare at nothing in particular.

You say, "I'll cancel my assist now."

Tolli whispers, "oh great.. so there's no way to refill the lost blood? or does acantha work, but not herbs to stop the bleeding?"

Tolli says, "thanks, we can just do it jointly while I'm already here"

>whis tolli Acantha works... I can see the blood loss. Can't see the chest wound, pothinir doesn't work.
You whisper quietly to Tolli.

>whis xel How does something like this get past QC?
You whisper quietly to Xeldria.

Bisco blinks.

Bisco points at cr Xeldria disk.

Xeldria shrugs.

Xeldria stares off into space.

Bisco says, "uh"

Bisco asks, "Xeldria, what did you do to your disk?"

Xeldria says, "I summoned it with a black crystal."

Bisco says, "I see.."

Tolli says, "she bled on it from her invisible wound"

Tolli nods.

You snicker.

You say, "This is weirder than the assist where Sayzor actually removed a warning for us."

Tolli says, "Well ladies.. I have no idea what to tell you"

Tolli ducks her head.

You exclaim, "Tolli! Get someone powerful to heal me!"

How can they be so mean to you?!

Tolli exclaims, "ooh distinction, I'm a weirdo!"

Tolli is hugging herself.

You chuckle at Tolli.

Tolli says, "let me see what can be done"

Daelnor asks, "am ah interrupting somethin?"

Xeldria says, "A convention of the criminally insane."

Daelnor says, "oh, tha all"

You say, "I don't want to have to drag Xeldria around tending me all day."

Xeldria nods.

Xeldria whispers, "I have a massive glaes club.. I want to hurl it."

Tolli says, "alright ladies, I hate to do this to you"

Tolli says, "but as you can imagine.. we are getting a LOT of bleeding people in line"

Tolli ducks her head.

Xeldria fidgets.

Lord Nevrek's group just arrived.

Tolli says, "and I can't do anything to heal you at present"

You groan.

Tolli says, "but we're working on it as quickly as possible"

Nevrek exclaims, "Phantom Bleeding!"

Tolli cowers away from Nevrek!

Tolli says, "he found me"

Tolli shrieks!

Xeldria says, "And I thought we were original in throwing sharp things at ourselves."

Xeldria gasps.

Nevrek says, "Juspera said to come, heh."

You snicker.

Nevrek says, "Here's another discovery."

Nevrek says, "KEep this in mind, Tolli."

Nevrek says, "You can tend the vound and unwrap it to get rid of it."

Tolli says, "tell me as much as you can please, anything you tell me will help"

Nevrek says, "I had one on my left arm and I did that."

Xeldria asks, "Really?"

Xeldria exclaims, "Juspera sit!"

Tolli says, "we are doing our best, hopefully it won't be too much longer"

Nevrek says, "I'm keeping the right leg one so someone can see it."

You sit down.

Tolli says, "oh that is EXCELLENT to know"

Nevrek says, "Yeah, remember my name vhen you tell people."

Nevrek winks at Tolli.

You say, "This thing just gets freakier and freakier."

Nevrek nods to you.

Xeldria says, "Miracle bandages."

Xeldria asks, "Hey.. one of you want to tend Juspera's chest?"

Xeldria says, "I know you want to."

Nevrek says, "This is my second bundle."

Nevrek takes a bite of his acantha leaf.
Nevrek looks a little better.

Tolli cowers away from Nevrek!

Gowain begins to do his best to mend your wounded chest.
Roundtime: 130 sec.

Gowain says, "still leaky"

Xeldria unwraps your bandages.

Xeldria says, "Hrm."

Xeldria begins to do her best to mend your wounded chest.

Xeldria unwraps your bandages.

Xeldria carefully diagnoses your injuries.

Xeldria says, "All gone."

You exclaim, "Whoo!"

Xeldria asks, "But what about my malformed disk?"

Xeldria fidgets.

Xeldria says, "It's so lonely and ugly."

Tolli says, "the disks are being worked on too, it's not as alone as we could hope"

Gowain says, "I dont want to sound prudish or whatever, but this can be exploited easily"

Gowain says, "at the rate he is beeding, a empath could gain a level"

You say, "Hmmmm... and I suppose if the wounds aren't being recognized, the old no-learning-when-patient-is-bleeding thing doesn't cut in."

Tolli says, "actually"

Tolli points at you.

Tolli says, "was wondering about that"

Tolli grins.

Tolli nods to Gowain.

Tolli says, "well"

Tolli says, "if an empath is working to keep someone alive"

Tolli says, "I'm going to say that for right now they're ok"

Tolli says, "and this bleeding without a wound will not be forever"

Nevrek removes some acantha leaf from in his veniom-worked satchel.

Nevrek takes a bite of his acantha leaf.
Nevrek makes a horrible face!
Nevrek looks a little better.

Nevrek says, "Bundle number three."

Gowain says, "i have seen him put down over 30 bites of that stuff"

Nevrek says, "I'm trying to keep everything the same."

You ask, "Did you announce on the black net too?"

Nevrek says, "I vas originally not going to even leave the place it happened in."

Tolli says, "Nevrek, you can go ahead and get rid of those, if you want to"

Tolli says, "you don't have to keep bleeding for my sake"

Nevrek says, "Nah, I can handle it."

Nevrek says, "It's easy to manage, and I can afford a lot of acantha."

Tolli says, "ooh look, your disk is healed"

Xeldria exclaims, "Yes!"

Tolli says, "well, that's one for two"

Xeldria says, "My pretty disk has returned to me."

Xeldria touches the disk lightly.

You say, "OOooo."

You fling yourself at the Xeldria disk.

Daelnor looks confused.

Daelnor asks, "jes wha ha' ye all been doin?"

You cough.

You say, "We've been..."

Xeldria says, "Throwing sharp objects at each other."

(Juspera pauses.)

Tolli says, "alright folks, since we've found a workable solution for now, rest assured we know about this and are working on it"

Tolli smiles.

Tolli says, "thank you for your help with it"

You exclaim, "Thank you!"

Nevrek says, "Yeah, remember my name."

Tolli says, "you bet"

You see Sage Tolli Miraleaf the Sylvankind Cleric.
She appears to be in her 50's, has long, braided silver hair, green eyes, and fair skin.
She has a tattoo of a delicate weeping willow standing guard over a spring brook on her forearm.
She is in good shape.
She is wearing a dark vultite shield, a linen pouch, a gold star, a flowing robe composed of delicate gauzy layers ranging in color from pale leaf green to deep emerald cinched at the waist with a simple twisted cord, a tiny arched invar pin inscribed with the words "Order of the Helping GameHost" adorned with a tiny suspended golden oak leaf charm, and a roomy satchel woven of living vines clasped with a leaf-shaped invar button.

Xeldria exclaims, "If we find something else that results in our own mutilation, we'll be sure to tell you!"

Tolli curtsies to Xeldria.

Tolli curtsies to you.

Nevrek exclaims, "And my tending/unwrapping thing!"

Nevrek raises his fist defiantly.

Tolli laughs!

Tolli says, "thanks, I think I appreciate that"

Tolli stares off into space.

Tolli waves to Gowain.

Tolli waves to Nevrek.

Tolli vanishes in a puff of smoke!

Nevrek takes a bite of his acantha leaf.
Nevrek looks a little better.

Xeldria says, "That's it.. a new death game."

Xeldria says, "People darts."

Gowain asks, "were you all practicing your throwing?"

Nevrek says, "No no, really.. I haff these leeches all over me."

Gowain says, "maybe you got hit by one we thre off int he distance"

Gowain asks, "am I wounded?"

Gowain wrinkles his nose.

Nevrek says, "Then again, if I had my say, I vouldn't be vounded either."

>whis xel That whole assist is going on my site.
You whisper quietly to Xeldria.

Xeldria nods to you.

Nevrek says, "Am I vounded or not? Only time vill tell."

Nevrek stares off into space.

Suddenly, there is a puff of smoke and a blinding flash of light as Tolli arrives to answer Nevrek's assist.

You exclaim, "Oh look!"

You point at Tolli.

Tolli squints at Nevrek.

Xeldria laughs!

Nevrek says, "Funny seeing you again."

Xeldria falls to the ground laughing hysterically!

Nevrek grins at Tolli.

Tolli asks, "Just coulnd't stand me being away could you?"

Xeldria stands up.

You laugh out loud!

Nevrek says, "Just let people know if they need a test subject or something, I'm available."

Nevrek winks at Tolli.

Tolli begins chuckling at Nevrek.

Tolli says, "ok"

Tolli says, "will do"

Tolli winks at Nevrek.

Tolli waves.

You wave a hand at Tolli, dismissing her indifferently.

You exclaim, "Shoo!"

Nevrek says, "I mean, I am keeping the vound in case that's needed."

Tolli glances at you and begins to wail!

Nevrek takes a bite of his acantha leaf.
Nevrek looks a little better.

You exclaim, "Stop finding excuses to come see us!"

Xeldria says, "Nevrek is going to need a new shirt.. one with a larget target painted on the back."

Tolli laughs!

Tolli vanishes in a puff of smoke!

Nevrek pokes Xeldria in the ribs.

Xeldria says, "You did volunteer."

Nevrek says, "Heh."

Nevrek takes a bite of his acantha leaf.
Nevrek looks a little better.

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